Marathon in Pictures

Here we are before the race...Jenae, me, and Stephanie. We were SO excited, anxious, nervous, and giddy. We arrived at the starting area at about 5:30 am (the race started at 7). So for an hour and a half we spent our time walking around a little, forcing down some carbs and water, going to the bathroom, and mentally preparing ourselves for the hours to follow.

There were 40,000 people participating in the race (that total includes half marathoners as well...in fact there were WAY more who were participating in the half than the full). As we stood in our corrals waiting for our turn to start, I took a picture of the view in front and behind. The following pictures gives you somewhat of an idea of the sea of people that were all around us. There was SO much excitement in the air. There's just NOTHING like it!

The race was on Saturday but we actually drove down Friday afternoon because we had to pick up our bibs, swag bags, t shirt, etc at the Expo. I loved going to the Expo. There are runners and running gear everywhere!

This picture show the line to the bathroom right before the race. They actually have porta potties everywhere, even all through the course. But, beforehand, there is a mad rush to try and get everything out before the race begins. I did have to end up going about half way through the race, but luckily I didn't have to wait in a line. THANKULLY, our friend Whitney (who ran this race last year) had sent us with cute little good luck baggies that had a little pack of toilet paper. I was so glad I had it because with so many people going to the bathroom, they ran out of tp.

Marathon in Pictures Part II

The day before I flew out to Chattanooga, I was having a really bad day. I was SO nervous about the race and so I was just an emotional mess. One of the things that I was struggling with the most was knowing that I wouldn't have anyone there to cheer me on. Yes, I would have my girlfriends, but they would have their husbands and children and I remember how hard it was for me not to have anyone at my half marathon either (it was scheduled to rain all day and it was a couple hours away so I told Cory not to come..which I really regretted, especially because it didn't rain). My mom had told me how much she'd wished she could be there and so had my mother-in-law, sister, Grandma, etc.. But still, nobody was going to be there. I called Cory as I stood at the starting line and he gave me this beautiful pep talk and told me how proud he was of me. So, I decided to just make him feel part of the race by texting him the miles as I went along (I'd even considered doing Face time with him, but since there was no wifi I couldn't). It started off great. We were running through downtown Nashville so there was a lot to see and there were live bands every mile or so. I knew that there would be quite a few hills from mile 2-5 but then I thought it would flatten out. But, the hills never ended. After we split off from the half-marathoners, around mile 12, I started struggling. I knew that I still had at least two more hours to run and the sun was getting hotter, shade was non-existant, and the hills just kept on coming and coming. I was feeling frustrated with myself and I so I decided to walk up a hill. Well, if you've ever ran long distance before, you probably know how bad of an idea this was. Once you mentally allow yourself to walk, it is SO hard to get back in the running groove. I was so mad at myself for walking and I was SO thirsty, the fuel stations were just not coming quick enough, AND I had to go to the bathroom SO BAD!! I finally stopped to go to the bathroom and told my friends to just go ahead. Then over the next couple miles that followed I mentally had to fight my way back into my groove. At about mile 16, I was feeling great again. I had always been really nervous for miles 20-26 because 20 is the farthest you go in training, and I also knew that those last six miles was the real test of mental toughness. Once I hit mile 20, I texted Cory "20!!!" as I ran up YET ANOTHER hill. As I came over the crest of the hill, I heard screaming and cheering. I looked up and saw Cory, Katelund, and Cloey. I seriously thought I was hallucinating. I couldn't believe what my eyes were telling me and I was so confused as to why they were standing in front of me. After my brain finally processed the fact that they truly were there, I started sobbing. I ran into Cory's arms crying "You came, I can't believe you came!!!" It was not only the best surprise of my life, it was also one of the greatest moments in my life. I will NEVER ever forget that moment. I can't even talk or write about it without the tears swelling up in my eyes. They gave me so words of encouragement and then told me that they would meet me at the finish line. As I ran off, I just continued crying and crying for the next mile. Yes, I was in complete and utter pain, but the tears were tears of joy. Although the next six miles were definitely the hardest physically, they were actually the easiest for me mentally because I knew that the people that I loved more than anything in the world were waiting for me at the finish line (except Makayala and Hailey of course, but they were being loved and cared for by my sweet sister Andrea who had been in on the surprise). At mile 24, I had a huge blister pop up on my toe. The pain was excruciating but I knew I just had to focus on putting one foot in front of the other and think about crossing that finish line. My legs were burning, my muscles were cramping, and every part of my body told me to just stop right there. But every part of my heart told me to keep going. I'm pretty sure that my prayers were answered at this point, because I'm pretty sure that my Grandpa was running beside me pushing me onward. I felt so good as I realized that in the next mile I would accomplish one of the biggest goals of my life. As I ran past the sign for mile 26, I saw Cory and the girls, they ran out to me and for the next .1 1/2 miles they ran with me. Katelund was holding my hand on one side, Cloey on the other, and then Cory was holding Katelund's hand. It was an incredible moment, and just what I needed to push myself up YET ANOTHER hill to get to the finish line. Once I came up to the last little .5 stretch to the finish line, they made Cory and the girls stay to the side as I crossed the finish line....the moment of my dreams. As I walked through to get my medal and they wrapped cold icy towels around my neck, I felt as if I was in a dream. I couldn't believe it was finally over. I finished in 4 hours and 45 minutes (15 minutes longer than I wanted, but I guess it just leaves me with room to improve for my next one, right?) It was an amazing moment, one I'll NEVER forget!!!

One of things that happens to marathon runners is black toes, that will eventually fall off. Pretty gross, right? Oh no!!! I just noticed that I have hair on my big toe in this picture. That may be even grosser. :)

Cory decided to surprise me on Thursday, which didn't leave him very much time to get the plans in motion. He was originally going to come alone and bring his bike to ride next to me the last six miles (something that a friend had done for my brother-in-law Vaughn). But, once he told the girls his plans, they told him that they really wanted to go as well, even though they would be driving 20 hours in a 36 hour period. Cory said they were like angels the whole way. They even stayed up with Cory at 3 am when they got to the hotel to make tshirts and a poster. Then they didn't even complain for a second when he woke them up 3 hours later to go downtown and find parking, and then when they sat for at least 3 hours in black shirts in the hot sun waiting for me to pass mile 20. Cory said that they were SO EXCITED to surprise me and they were so cute about cheering for everyone that passed by. He said the girls would say, "I don't think you can do it, I know you can."

My sweet girls passed out on the long ride home. I was originally planning on driving back to Chattanooga, going to church in our ward there, staying with Jenae, and then flying out Sunday. But, there was just NO WAY I was going to let Cory turn around (after having slept only 3 hours the night before and sitting out in the hot sun all day) and drive another 10 hours home. So I decided to just go home with them so that I could help drive and let Cory sleep. I am SO GLAD that I decided to go with him, but I was really sad that I didn't get to see some of my dear friends in Chattanooga. I guess I'll just have to go visit another time.

This is the blood blister that I got on my toe at mile 24. This picture was actually taken two days after, so it is not nearly as swollen as it was on Saturday. It is still SO painful, even to the touch. But, totally worth it!! :)

Marathon in Pictures Part III

Last night for FHE, I was teaching the girls about tender mercies. I consider this shirt on the Lord's tender mercies for me doing the last couple of miles. I ran up behind this guy and as I read his shirt, I felt a rush of strength beyond my own. I was reminded of what Katelund had told me a couple of months ago. We were in the van driving to school and then I was going to drop the babies off at a friend's house while I went and ran 18 miles, the farthest I'd ever ran at that point. I was expressing to Katelund how nervous I was about this run and she then said so calmly and confidently, "Mommy remember, you can do hard things, and with Christ you can do all things." As I read this man's shirt, I remembered her saying that and then I remembered that I had in deed prayed the night before for strength beyond my own. Definitely, a tender mercy that got me through to the end.

I took this picture as I began the race. Notice the awesome hot pink shoelaces? Thanks, Jenae. :)

It was around 86 degrees and humid, which is really hot weather to run in. Thankfully, they were spraying people down with hoses at the fuel stations. Plus, I dumped a cup of cold water on my head everytime as well. I am now suffering from one of the worst sunburns I have ever had. I can't even put a purse on my shoulders. But again, totally worth all the pain. :)

This is a picture of the starting line. Somewhere in this crowd is Cheryl Crow. She ran the half marathon. In fact, her time was exactly the same time as my half-marathon last February....1 hour 59 minutes. I'm running my third half-marathon at the end of October and I'm totally planning on crushing my PR. Anyone want to join me for a half marathon in Ft. Worth ?

Phone Picture Dump

Picture 1...For Cloey's birthday (which is tomorrow), we spent all day Saturday doing fun stuff as a family. One of the things we did was spend a couple of hours at Six Flags (we bought season passes for our family which we are LOVING). The girls are SO brave!! I took this picture while we were waiting in line to ride the Texas Giant (one of the fastest and highest roller coasters there). Afterwards, they admitted to being pretty scared but they said they would ride it again. Picture 2...Last weekend I drove down to Arlington to go to Time Out for Women with my sister. It was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!!! Not only did I hear some beautiful music and very uplifting talks, but I also had so much fun spending some alone time with Andrea...and Makalya of course. :) Picture 3...This is a wreath on one of the doors in our complex. I LOVE it!! I love all of the Ranger shirts that I see EVERYWHERE on EVERYONE!!! I grew up going to Ranger's games so it is really fun to be part of all the excitement...especially now that they are actually pretty darn good. Picture 4...The last couple of days have been really emotional for me as I have been trying to wean Makayla. Emotional because I really want to fly up to the marathon without a baby and she was refusing to take a bottle. Emotional because I finally figured out that she would take a sippy cup and then I had to deal with the fact that I was done nursing possibly my very last baby. Emotional because after going 24 hours without nursing, I was a disaster. I was leaking milk everywhere, in incredible pain, and all I could think about was going through the same thing after I loss Clairisa. It was just too much. So, I am now using a pump and giving it to Makayla in her sippy cup. Whew...way too many emotions to even explain. Picture 5...This picture was taken on the very first trip we took to Six Flags a couple weekends ago. This was also the girls very first time to ride a roller coaster that went upside down. I was seriously SO STRESSED out about it. Cory rode with the girls while I sat on a bench with the babies. I was SO nervous! But, they were just fine and ready to go again. After I rode a couple of rides that day, I started feeling so sick. So, I decided on future trips I would have to avoid all and any rides that involve spinning in circles. Picture 6...Last but not least, my very favorite picture that I took last week. It is the picture that is now the background on my phone. I LOVE my little girls and I just couldn't imagine life without them.

Cousins

The best part of living in Texas is living near family. My girls are LOVING all of the time they are getting to spend with their cousins. I wish I had some pictures of Sean (Cory's brother) and Brittney's cuties but I forgot to take them when we were together. But, here are some with my sister's kids. Katelund just absolutely loves hanging around Abby (who just turned 12 in January) and Cloey loves to run around with Ethan (who is actually a month older than Katelund). It works out perfectly. One day I heard the girls talking in the other room. The conversation went like this...."Katelund, I think I have crushes on three new boys....our COUSINS!"

Dear Grandpa,

Saturday was my last long run. I have seven miles left to run over the next three days and then I'm done with my training. Grandpa, I can't believe that it is almost here. The day that I have looked forward to with anticipation, fear, dread, and excitement. Two months after I had Makayla I started getting back into running. I hadn't done any real running after I had Hailey and then between Clairisa and Hailey there was no running at all...just lots of crying. So, getting back into running was like starting from ground zero. I had baby weight to lose, a c-section to recover from, and a whole lot of stamina and endurance to build, but I was ready. I was ready to get my mind and body back into running and back into racing. I decided that in order to get myself going again, I needed someone to run with. So I asked Jenae. A girl whom I hardly knew, but somehow I knew that she'd say yes...and she did. We began our 5:30 am runs in September. I started out VERY slowly. I would get so frustrated with myself because I could hardly run half a lap around a track that was .25 miles all the way around. But, Jenae was patient and kind to me. She often reminded me that I had just had major abdominal surgery, and that I was doing great. Over the next month, the track became easy to run. So much so, that we were ready to venture out. Near the end of October or early November, we decided to run a half-marathon in February. That's around the time that Stephanie joined in on our 5:30 am runs. A couple of weeks later, we decided to increase our goal and that's when we decided to train for the Country Music marathon in Nasheville on April 28th. Now fast forward to about a month ago. When I first found out that we were going to move, I was devastated. I was so happy where I was and I did NOT want to give up on my goal of running the marathon. I had come WAY too far to just give up on it. So, I told Cory that us moving meant that I was going to buy a plane ticket to Nashville so I could still run the marathon. He was, and still is, so supportive. Training for a marathon takes a lot of time. Thankfully, most of the time was in the early hours of the morning when my children were still asleep, but the hard part was all of the long runs on Saturdays. Especially, when we ran 15-20 miles and were gone for 3 plus hours. Moving also meant a whole month of training on my own. I really enjoyed running with friends. We wouldn't even listen to music because we talked the whole time (except on the really long runs when we ran out of things to say and needed some up beat music to keep us going). So running on my own was NOT something I looked forward to...especially for the longest run of our training that was scheduled for the first Saturday after we moved. But, somehow I did it. It was a really long, hot, and boring run but I fought my way through it. I listened to all of Priesthoood session of conference, I talked on the phone, listened to music, made all sorts of plans and had lots of time to think. I even ran to Mike and Nancy's house to get some water (my camel back was not drinkable....long story). Then the next weekend I got to run with Mike. It was so fun to run with him. He is starting to look more like you Grandpa. All of your sons remind me of you in different ways. While we were running, he told me about the first time that the two of you ran together when he was a teenager. He said that he ran faster than you, but, you made sure that it was the very last time. He said the next time you ran together, you killed him...and he never caught up to after that. As we approached halfway, at 6 miles, he told me how your 10k time was 45 minutes. I can't believe that Grandpa! My fastest 10k time is 10 minutes slower than yours, and I'm at least 20 years younger than you were. Last Saturday was my last long run before the race. As a ran, I thought about what it would be like to run with you again. The very first and last time I ran with you was in Arlington. Do you remember that? You had already stopped running but your walking pace was just as fast as my "run". I knew then that I had a long ways to go to keep up with you. Since that time, many years have past. I have ran races, improved my speed and endurance, and I'm finally ready to run the race that I told you'd I run someday. After Saturday, I will have ran close to 500 miles in three different states and seven different cities. The other day I was talking to Grandma on the phone. She told me how much she wished that she could be there to cheer me on at the finish line. I wish she could too. In fact, there won't be anybody there cheering me on at the finish line besides complete strangers and Jenae and Stephanie's husbands and children. When I first realized this, it really bothered me. And, I still wish somebody would be there cheering just for me. But, as my Grandma said this to me I quickly responded back by saying "I know Grandma, but don't worry, Grandpa will be there cheering me on." I really hope you are Grandpa. I hope that you, Clairisa, and Kelly are all cheering me on from the other side of the veil. In fact, I wouldn't mind a little nudging and help in those last six miles. :) I love you so much Grandpa. I will think of you every step of the way. I don't know if I will ever run a full marathon again, but I do know one thing. I know that this experience has been incredible....incredibly hard, incredibly painful at times, incredibly emotional (especially when I thought I wasn't going to be able to run it because I hurt my ankle and also the last couple of days as I have been trying to wean Makayla), and incredibly amazing. 5 more days..... Love Always and Forever, Melissa

How I Feel

This is the way Hailey wears her shoes each day. It's not that I won't put them on her correctly, it's that SHE wants to do it and she doesn't want me to help her at ALL! The other day she was walking down the stairs in her flip flops with the toe seperator between the wrong toes and the shoes on the wrong feet but she didn't seem to be bothered by it at all. About half way down the stairs she stopped, made a really funny face, and then bent over. I thought for sure that she had finally decided that something just wasn't right. The toe seperator in the wrong spot would drive me CRAZY!! But, nope, she was bending over to pull the strap back up around her heel and then once that was fixed she was good to go again. I was laughing so hard. She is just so stinking cute....but also, very stubborn, independant, and absolutely the most active, mishevious and fearless two year old that I have raised. Life would be so much easier for her if she would just let me step in and help her more often. The last three weeks have been really hard for me. In fact, adjusting to our new life in Texas has felt very similar to wearing flip flops on the wrong feet and with the toe seperator in the wrong toes. If Cory and I hadn't received that confirming answer that we were doing the right thing, I would say that we had made a mistake. But, I know that is not the case. Nonetheless, it still feels like shoes on the wrong feet. I know that part of it is the fact that we are still in temporary housing and not in our house yet. But, I also just feel so out of place in our ward and everywhere else (even the Target is laid out so weird that I can't find anything!). We have moved A LOT in our 11 years of marriage, but each and every time it takes me the longest of anyone else in our family to adjust. L ast week when Cloey was saying our family prayers one night, she said the most beautiful prayer. But, the line that hit me the strongest was when she said, "Heavenly Father, please help us to start feeling like Texans." That's exactly what I needed to pray for. I had been praying for so many things, and yet, praying to feel like I fit in here was not even something I had considered praying for. There we all were sitting in our bedroom praying together, and all of the sudden I realized that I was no different than Hailey. All this time I have been the one insisting that I put my own "shoes" on. I hadn't even considered that the reason it felt so wrong and uncomfortable was because I was not asking for help. So, my prayers have changed. I have tried to be so much more prayerful and grateful the last few days. I have begun to look for all the blessings we have received and even some very sweet tender mercies that have helped me recognize the Lord's hand and his constant awareness of our needs and desires. No, things are not quite comfortable yet. Yes, I still very much MISS Chattanooga, but I know that we are where we are supposed to be. And even more than that, I know that if I trust in the Lord and ask for his help, that he will make this process much easier and a lot less painful.

Adapting to Dallas

I actually have a lot to say about this subject but I'll just keep it simple for now because I need to feed my "starving" children.

We really stand out like a sore thumb in the temporary housing we are living in for the month of April (we can't move into our house until May). I think we are the only family living here (the rest are young recently graduated and very schwanky (aka hip). We are a big family of six with young crying kids, a minivan, and come from Tennessee. :) My children sing and stomp on the balcony of our third story apartment and we have a baby that cries off and on all through the night. Yesterday, I took the girls on a walk around the surrounding area. Cloey was freaking out about the nice cars....especially the red corvette. We got some strange looks as they watched Cloey begging for a picture with the car. Yes, we are total country folk... and quite happy about that I might add. The big city life is just not my thing, too much vanity, materialism, etc.

On to another subject...

The marathon is only 25 days away!!! Crazy, right?! Since I've heard that the course is quite hilly, I really need to focus some training on hills. But how do you do that in such a flat city? I figured it out on my run last night...parking garages. They are all over around here and they go up about five or six levels. I have found some Texas mountains. :)

Renewal

As much as I love to see all the white and pink blossoms on the trees in the springtime, I also LOVE to see new green leaves. Not just because I love the fullness and beauty of the tree when the leaves appear, but also because I love the color of the green. The first week or two of a newly formed leaf is my very favorite. Have you ever noticed the color of green that a new leaf has? It's the most beautiful color of green EVER!! It's bright and vibrant and I can hardly watch the road as I drive because it takes my breath away everytime. As much as I tried to capture it on my camera phone, I just couldn't do it justice.

Today as I was driving around, I was noticing all the new BEAUTIFUL green leaves and then also noticing the leaves that have been green for longer than a week or two and how their colors were not as vibrant or dramatic. I was wondering why that is. Why does the vibrancy of the color fade so quickly?

I think that in so many ways, we are like these leaves. The vibrancy and radiance comes into our lives at certain times and creates perspective, beauty, and hope but then with time, the feelings eventually dull and fade. The newness wears off and renewed desires tend to dull as old habits resurface. I have not only seen this happen in the life of others, but unfortunately, all too often in my own self.

I think that the time in my life when my spirit is the greenest and the most vibrant is right after general conference. There is nothing that compares to the feelings that I have as I sit with my family and completely immerse myself into the words of the Lord's annointed and also into the feelings of the Spirit that rush into my heart.

Lately, as I am doing the dishes and working in the kitchen during the day, I am always looking out my window at my beautiful tulips. I have observed many things about tulips. One of the things that I find the most amazing is that in the morning, after a night of darkness, the tulips are closed and slightly lean to the side. But, as the day goes on and the sun climbs higher and brighter in the sky, the tulips completely change. They stand to their greatest heighth and the flower completely opens itself up to reveal the incredible beauty within. It is such a sight to see. I think that is exactly what happens to me as I immerse myself directly into the "sunbeams" of general conference. My spirit soars as I spiritually stand taller and completely open up my heart in order to let the spirit's light change me from within. The mighty change happens and my color changes to that radiant color of green that symbolizes recommitment, rememberance, rejuvination, and rededication. This same processes happens after I visit the temple and after I leave a spiritually rich sacrament meeting, RS meeting, broadcast, etc.

So why do the colors fade with time? Why does the beautiful green always seem to dull? Because it is not only a process in nature, it is also a part of human nature. It is that part of us that we must continually work at. It is that daily immersion of the scriptures and of the words of apostles and prophets that keep our colors vibrant, our spiritual heights lengthened, and our hearts open. It is the continual process of renewal that brings beauty and radiance to a countenance and hope to a dull and dying world.

What I'm Thinking about Today

So, here's what's on my mind (in no particular order of importance)

*I have seriously got to start eating more vegetables. I've thought about giving up sugar all together, but what's the fun in that??!! No fun at all. So instead, I think I'll just add more veggies into my life. So right now, I'm snacking on sugar snap peas. YUMMY! Almost as good as dark chocolate m&ms.

*As excited as I am about moving near family (especially my sisters), I am going to miss Chattanooga TERRIBLY!!!! We have seriously LOVED it here. If only I could bring all my friends with me to Texas, then I'd be super happy. Also, I'm really going to miss the beauty of the Appalachian Mountains. I love Texas but about the only thing beautiful are the bluebonnets on the hills for a couple of weeks in the spring. I'm trying to think of all the positives and be happy and excited, but then there are moments (many moments today) that I just want to sit and cry.

*We had our first garage sale on Saturday. We did okay. Not great but it could've been worse. I took a HUGE car load of clothes and toys to the Goodwill drop-off this morning. It felt so great to get all that stuff out of our home. I'm thinking that this could be just as addicting as finding really sweet deals at the thrift store. There is just such a great feeling that comes from cleaning out and getting rid of clutter and all that extra stuff!

*This morning I am going to our weekly workout in the gym at the church. My friend, Whitney teaches it and she is going to do a special Hunger Games workout today. Sounds fun, right!?! Afterwards, we are all going to one of my favorite pizza places to have a goodbye luncheon. I am going to SERIOUSLY miss these girls. I am crying right now just thinking about it. Tomorrow I am going to run 20 miles (I'm a little bit nervous about running on my ankle because it has been giving me fits ever since I ran my 19 miles run). Then tomorrow night I am going to my last girls night out that will include dinner and a midnight showing of The Hunger Games. I'm so excited!!

*Friday morning at 5:30 am, Cory and I will head out to the airport to go find a home in Texas. We'll be gone for the whole weekend and we are only taking Makayla with us. Holy cow has it been a chore to figure out a schedule for my other three girls. They will be staying with friends and they couldn't be more excited.

*Next Wednesday, the moving company will start the packing. I am SO VERY GRATEFUL for the fact that I don't have to pack, but there is still lots of work to be done so I'm just trying to enjoy the rest of my time here before all the craziness begins.

*Which brings me to the last item on this list...I have SO MUCH TO DO!!! My to do list is reaching its limit and I'm sure I'm forgetting something.

*Yesterday I bought my airline ticket to fly from Dallas to Nashville for the marathon. By the time this thing is all over and done with, I will have spent around $500. Pretty crazy right? Yes it is, but I am SO EXCITED and really I know that the experience will be priceless.



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Fun at the Zoo

Our Family Secret

Thanks honey!

Katelund came running in the house so excited to show me this pamphlet that she found in the mail. She thinks that a maid would be the best idea ever. Apparently she is not very satisfied with the current maid. Fine...fire me!!!! :)

The Bestest Mom That They've Ever Had..or maybe not

Before I began this story, I have to preface a little bit. When my kids go on field trips, I always pick them up early from school after they get back. Part of the reason I do this is because as much as I'd love to go on the field trips with them, I just can't (or choose not to) in this season of my life with two little ones, so instead I pick them up from school and have a fun afternoon doing whatever they want. Cloey had a field trip on Tuesday and Katelund had one on Thursday. So I picked Cloey up on Tuesday (actually I went to part of her field trip and picked her up from there) and she had her fun afternoon. Well, when Thursday morning came around and Katelund asked me if I was going to pick her up in the afternoon, I told her no that she would just ride the bus home like usual (I totally forgot she had her field trip). Then once I figured out that it was her field trip day I told her that of course I would pick her up. So now fast forward to 3 pm. I'm talking on the phone to my sister Katie and all of the sudden I realize what time it is...3 pm!!! You know, when the bell rings for the end of school. I had TOTALLY spaced it and had forgotten to pick her up early. I felt absolutely HORRIBLE!!! I went out on the front porch and just sat on the chair waiting for her to get home and racking my brain for what I could possibly say or do to make this better. As she rounded the corner to our house, she saw me and immediately started running and bawling her eyes out. As soon as she started up our drive way she started crying out, "Mommy, why did you lie to me?" It was pretty much one of the worst moments of my life. We just sat and cried in each other's arms for awhile and then I explained to her how I had forgotten and how horrible I felt. I told her that not being there for her when I told her I would be was one of the worst things I felt like I could ever do as a mother. As I continued to ask for her forgiveness and cry my eyes out, she put her arms around me once again and said, "Mommy, please stop crying, it's okay and I forgive you." (Oh, the Christ-like ways of a child. How I long to be so quick to forgive.)

Needless to say, we spent the rest of the afternoon doing whatever she wanted. I also promised her that I would pick her up early today (which I did and then we spent the rest of the afternoon watching netflix and eating chocolate chip cookies that we made together...I had some SERIOUS make-up work to do). Anyways, as we were sitting at the dinner table last night before dinner, Cory asked Cloey to bless the food. In her prayer she said the following, "...please bless Mommy that she will repent tonight because she lied and forgot to pick up Katelund. Also, please bless her that she will remember to pick us up tomorrow. And please help her to know that we love her and that she is the bestest mom that we've ever had."

Dear Grandpa,

About a month after Clairisa passed away, I decided to write a letter to her. In fact, I did it on my blog. (you can click here to read it). I know that she may never read those words, but for me it was a way to say all of the things that I wanted her to know. Well, I have decided to do the same thing for you Grandpa. Do you remember what I said to you when you were so sick in the hospital with leukemia? I told you that since you couldn't run anymore, that I would start running for you. Since that conversation and over the last 5 years, I have ran four 5Ks, 1 unofficial half-marathon (my friend Austyn and I made up a course and did it on our own since she found out she was going to be moving to New York), and one official half-marathon. During that time I have also had three babies, which meant that I have taken a lot of time off, but then I have always started it back up because I knew that someday I was going to accomplish the one thing that I knew I needed to do...run a marathon in honor of you. It was and is a very lofty goal, but I am determined to do it. I will never be as fast as you (at 3 hours and 10 minutes) or even come close to qualifying for the Boston Marathon like you did, but I will give it all that I've got and eventually make it across that finish line, even if I have to crawl there.

The first half of my training, I was focused on the half-marathon. But now that I've finished that, I'm putting all my focus onto the full thing. Last Saturday, I ran 17 miles. I never ever dreamed or even imagined that someday I would be running 17 miles, and that is still not even close to 26. But, I will eventually get there too. Since this is such a lofty goal for me, I have decided to be better about documenting my training so that someday I can go back, remember, and relive the experience.

Grandpa, I love you and think about you all the time. You are one of my greatest heroes and I will forever be grateful for the example that you set me. Not just the example of running, your continual and incredible example of love for everyone around you. Although I can no longer talk or visit with you, you are still very much a part of my life and always will be.

Love Always and Forever,
Melissa

{day 29}

I love...

...the signs of spring and all the symbolism that comes with it...especially hope.

{day 28}

I love...

...writing poems. They are not that great, but I love to write them... especially when it is for someone else.

I went to a baby shower last night and since I got her cute little cowboy boots for her baby boy (this is her first time to live in the south) and a little baby "pedicure set" (okay, so it's really just a grooming kit, but whatever) I just had to come up with something to tie it all together. So here is the poem I came up with.


Your two little feet pushing me from within,
Soon will be ready for their journey to begin.

Adventures will await you and many distances you will go,
But the most important miles will be the ones that lead you home.

Sometimes you may fall, but as your guided by my hand,
Your pace will surely quicken and in holy places you’ll learn to stand.

One day black shoes you will shine and a name tag you will wear,
When your journey takes you far from home, as the gospel you will share.

Then your feet will lead you onward as your sealed for eternity,
And one day they’ll be shaking as your own babe is placed upon your knee.

But for now my little Bentley, let me kiss those toes so sweet,
For someday the world will be better because of your two feet.

Here's one I came up with a couple of months back for a wedding shower (for the gift I gave her really cute cleaning gloves with a list of Martha Stewart cleaning tips, a cookie spatula with a little mini cookie cook book, and a reusable shopping bag...all things that have to do with your hands)

With every toilet you scrub and sink that you’ll clean,
May these gloves protect you against germs unseen.

For your role as a woman, will soon be made clear,
To clean up disasters of those you hold dear.

With the spatula in hand, many cookies will await,
As your family will gather and memories you’ll create.

Cleaning and baking are just two of many things,
For your hands will stay busy with the duties life brings.

But in the monotony of the chores, may you always find,
Your hands as a reminder of promises that bind.

For as you kneel at the altar in just a few days,
Your hands clasped together, your hearts set ablaze,

You will covenant with the Lord and then united you’ll stand,
Living worthy of promises for those who have clean hands.

{day 27}

I love...

...watching little girls pretend to be mothers. Even if Hailey's baby is Cloey's best friend "Rarr". It's just so sweet and natural...that divine nature that comes with us to this earth.

{Day 26}

I love...

...the smell of freshly fallen rain on cement. I know it sounds totally bizarre and I can't even explain why, but I LOVE that smell!! Even as a young girl I remember going out into our garage and smelling the wet pavement on our driveway after it had just started raining. The smell doesn't last very long, but there is just nothing like it. Just trust me on this one. Next time it starts to rain, run outside and sniff until you just can't sniff anymore. It's seriously intoxicating. If only I could bottle it. Then I'd wear that and my Gain Febreeze and be set for life.

{day 25}

I love...

...pictures. The funny thing about this picture is that I have no idea how it got in my picture album on my phone. But, I'm glad it did because I love it!

Someday I dream of being a photographer. I think after I finish this marathon I'm going to start getting into it Or...I've also thought about getting really into my whole pedicure thing and learning how to give facials as well. I don't know. There's just so many things I want to do. But, I have to remember there is a season, and the season of my life right now mostly involves diapers, homework, polly pockets, science fair projects, and TONS of laundry and dirty dishes...which is why I need to focus some time on creating. Whether it's creating a blog post of the thoughts and feelings within me, creating a goal and accomplishing it, creating a more beautiful environment, creating a more Christ-centered home and family, or just creating a better me, it's the creating part of mothering that brings beauty and joy to a sometimes dirty and monotonous job.

{day 24}

I love...

I'm pretty much obsessed with the smell of this stuff!! I just discovered it and I'm SO GLAD I did. I think it's already almost gone. I'm actually considering wearing it as perfume. Just kidding...kindof.

{day 23}

I love...

{day 22}

I love...

...the many things I am constantly learning from my children.

Yesterday as I watched Hailey try to put her shirt on all by herself (for seriously like 10 minutes), I watched with a smile on my face as I admired her determination and then as I continued to watch I was completely humbled.

The last couple of days I have been feeling so overwhelmed. I just feel like I am running around in circles trying to keep up with managing a house and taking care of four children. Unfortunately, the house management part has really been suffering. I just can't get ahead of all the never-ending chores on my list. It has just really been getting to me. I keep putting these unrealistic expectations on myself and it just leaves me feeling completely frustrated. As I watched Hailey and how persistantly she tried over and over again to get that shirt on correctly, it reminded me of myself, only completely different. It reminded me of my own struggles right now and yet, I am not the patient determined Hailey, many times (most the time) I am the frazzled impatient one who just wants to take the shirt off, throw it on the ground, and scream at the top of my lungs.

Yesterday, my older sister so lovingly reminded me that I don't have to do everything and be everything. She said all the right things and all the things that I so desperately needed to hear. So today, I am going to take this "shirt" and put it on the best way I can and happily move forward. Just like Hailey, someday I'll be able to put it on effortlessly, but for now, I'll just keep trying to figure it out. Even if that means wearing it around my neck or with one arm out because I know that on the days that I do figure it out it feels amazing. There is just no greater feeling than knowing that you have accomplished something hard, something that somedays just simply feels impossible.