Halloween 2009

Journaling is coming soon....

Making one last phone call before bed...

on her pretend phone, with her new robe and my slippers on, and with her diaper bag in hand (which of course has some lip glass in the front pocket).

Trip to Fayetteville

The girls and I spent the last week in Fayetteville. It was Katelund's fall break and I just needed a get-away. We had such a great time. It was totally worth the drive! The girls (and I) were totally spoiled by Grandma and Grandpa. Since I was having so much fun, I totally forgot to take any pictures. So, instead I'll make a list of some of my favorite memories while we were there.

1. the drive there and back (although it was really long...16 hours total....it was BEAUTIFUL with all of the fall foliage)
2. talking and watching movies into the late hours of the night with two of my favorite people
3. laughing so hard with Sherrie (my mother-in-law) that I thought my cheeks were going to fall off
4. going out to lunch with some good friends who I have missed terribly!
5. meeting a new friend, Elizabeth
6. watching and learning from Sherrie (she is such an AMAZING woman and friend)
7. reading letters from Mormon with Amber :) (love ya, Mom)
8. watching my girls play restaurant with Grandpa (I haven't seen them laugh that hard in a long time)
9. eating some of my favorite foods
10. sleeping in every morning

October is...

*Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

*the month that Clairisa was supposed to be born

My friend, Rebecca, just wrote a beautiful post about her little boy, Hollis, who died from SIDS. I would create a link but it is a private blog. I remember going to Hollis' funeral. It was so heartbreaking. I remember sitting there looking at Rebecca and wondering how she was doing it. How she could go through such a difficult trial and how my own mother went through the same one. I marveled at their strength and I remember saying to Cory, "I could never do this."

When my brother died at 4 months old, I remember my mom crying for days and days. I remember crying too. I remember blaming myself. How did I not wake up? He was sleeping in my room? During the night his crib had collapsed and he had suffocated between the headboard and the mattress. I remember my family standing in a circle while my dad held his only son and we all said our goodbyes before the ambulance took him away. On the day of his funeral, my mom said that I stood at the casket and held his hand. I was only 5 years old, but I still have some memories that are still so vivid that it seems like just yesterday.

Growing up, Kelly was always a part of my life. I talked about him, I drew pictures of him in our family, and when people commented about me only having two sisters I would immediately correct them and tell them that I had a perfect brother. On my wedding day, I know that his spirit was in that sealing room. On my bedside table, I have a frame that has a picture of me holding him. It was one of the only pictures I have with him. Throughout the years, as I have looked to that picture, it has given me perspective, joy, and peace, and hope. I know that I will see him again and I know that his short life changed mine and my family's forever.

As hard as it was to lose a sibling, I had no idea the kind of grief and agony that my mother felt, until I lost my very own baby. Although the situations were different, my mother's example of enduring strength was and has been paramount for me. She stayed by my side for about a month after I lost Clairisa. She helped me get through emotions that I didn't know how to deal with. She helped me to understand what I was feeling and assured me that everything would be okay. She warned me ahead of time that people would say some really dumb things but to not take offense because they just didn't know what else to say (which happened a lot, by the way) She and my Dad helped me in a way that nobody else could have. On our moving day, I stopped by Clairisa's grave to say goodbye. It was so incredibly hard and as I drove away with the tears flowing down my cheeks, I knew that I needed to call my mom. She had done the same thing when we moved to Texas and she would understand.

I know that there are so many people out there who have lost an infant and/or child. Each experience is different but they are each a loss. A loss that continues to bring heartache and emptiness, even years and years later. How grateful I am for mothers who continue to share their stories because in doing so, it brings comfort and hope to others. It helps us all to remember that this life is short and is nothing in comparison to the eternities to follow. It reminds us that families truly can be together forever and that death is not the end.

I hate it when people refer to this baby in my stomach as my third. She is not my third, she is my fourth. My third little girl will always be part of my heart and my family. It is important to remember. Not only to remember my own perfect daughter but also to remember others. To remember Rebecca's perfect son Hollis, my mother's perfect son Kelly, and so many many others. May their perfect lives always be a reminder of what ours may become, and may we never forget that it is only because of a perfect Son who overcame death and provided a way, the only way, for us all to return to our heavenly home where my brother and daughter are waiting.

6 months

I have heard it said before that it usually takes about 6 months before you can call a place home. Moving from Asheville to here was really hard for me. I had to leave behind so many incredible friends that did so much for me during some of my most difficult days and that I love and cherish deeply. I still think of them all often...very often, but I knew that moving was the right thing. It was a move that we knew was coming eventually and I know that the Spirit had prepared me long before the actual job offer came. But....it was still not easy. It is never easy to leave behind a place that you love and people that have become like family. We have done it many, many times. Leaving Rexburg was very hard. I had to say goodbye to one of the closest friends I've ever had, Annie. Leaving Texas was hard because I knew that there was a chance that I may never live close to my parents and sister again. Moving from Fayetteville was also difficult because of so many people who made that ward one of the best ones we have ever lived in, and not to mention leaving behind Cory's parents. They were all hard moves but it was also pretty easy for me to adjust after about 6 months in a new place.

Tennessee has been the hardest place for me to adjust to. I'm not really sure why, but it has been. It has now been 6 months (actually 6 1/2) since we moved here, but I am not completely at home yet. It is not that the people aren't wonderful because they are. It is not that the city isn't great because it is (well, except for the insane amount of bugs and the fact that no place we will ever live will compare to the beauty and climate of Asheville). It must just be me. We are 8+ hours away from any family and we live in a ward where there are a lot of families that are related to one another. Also, all of my neighbors work all of the time. I need a good neighbor friend, life just isn't the same without one. I guess I just feel more alone here.

But, this week I have felt such a great amount of love and selfless services from some of my friends here. It has meant so much to me and made me realize that I need to get out and serve others more often. It is always in serving others, that our own loneliness and/or disappointments seem to disappear or become very unimportant. I am so extremely grateful for Cory's job and for the opportunity we had to come here. It has been a good experience for our little family because we have really grown closer together. I will still never forget all of the incredible friends from everywhere we've lived who have and will continue to touch my life, but I also know that it is now time for me to start feeling like I'm at home here. Maybe I just need to give it another 6 months. :)

I can't think of a title.

I love Thursday afternoons. I don't have to think of anymore activities for preschool this week, I don't have to worry about planning and carrying out a YWs activity, I don't have to think about cleaning my house because I do that on Monday and Friday (well I guess I clean everyday, but you know what I mean), I don't have to come up with an agenda for a presidency meeting (meeting was on Wednesday), I don't have to worry about grocery shopping. I can do whatever I want, and all I really want to do is take a nap...but there are so many clothes to fold.

Thanks to everyone for all of the name votes. I'm still undecided but it still really helps to hear other people's opinions and thoughts.

Oh, and just for all of my Texas friends....yesterday when Cloey and I were waiting for Katelund at her bus stop, Cloey randomly said, "Mommy, is heaven close to Texas?" I almost instinctively said, "yes honey it is pretty close." You can take the girl out of Texas but I don't think you can ever take the Texan out of the girl.

Choosing a Name

Choosing a name for this baby has been top priority for me lately. I really need to have a name for her. It is just one of those things that I need to do in order to get me more excited and involved in this pregnancy. I know that sounds really weird because of course I am excited to have a baby, but a couple of months ago I realized that I had been putting up a wall around my heart. I had not been thinking a whole lot about the baby or even day dreaming about her (like I normally always do when I'm pregnant) because I think subconsciously I was protecting myself from getting hurt. I didn't want to give my entire heart to this baby without knowing that I was going to get to hold her longer than a day. After I realized what was going on, I talked to some of my closest friends about it, Cory, my mom, mother-in-law, and sisters. They have really been wonderful in helping me feel more of a connection and bond. Cory set up the crib a couple of weeks ago, my mom has talked through it with me a lot and helped me deal with my emotions, my mother-in-law has bought a cute little dress for her, etc. All of these little things really help. I know it sounds kindof odd, but I guess it is just part of this whole healing process.

Anyways, now I am trying to decide between two names. With each of my children (except Katelund) I have given them a middle name after somebody significant in my life. Cloey's middle name is Noel after her aunt Stefani Noel and Clairisa Kelly is named after my perfect brother who died at 4 months old, Kelly William. With Katelund, I just chose a middle name that sounded good. I would've continued that pattern but when I was pregnant with Cloey I just knew that I was supposed to name her after Stefani. I actually received that prompting while reading my scriptures. It was a pretty cool experience and in retrospect I can see the significance of that decision. With Clairisa, it was definitely another prompting. Obviously in retrospect, it is very clear why...my perfect daughter named after my perfect brother....it was the perfect name to choose.

For this next little girl, we (Cory and I) have really debated back and forth about whether we should stick with the whole c or k name or if we should choose something completely different. Right now our top choice is Hailey (I actually wanted to name Cloey Hailey but I gave in, and I'm so glad I did because I can't think of Cloey having any other name). Anyways, the dilemma for me is choosing the perfect middle name. I am debating between two of my pioneer ancestors, both of them have INCREDIBLE stories and legacies. So really it just kindof comes down to which one sounds right. I'd love to hear your opinions. Here are the choices....

Hailey Jane

or

Sara Hailey (she'd go by Hailey)

But, if you are like me you may want to know the stories behind the names. I actually wrote about both of them a while back on my pioneer week posts, but instead of making you read all of it, I'll just give you a quick summary.

Jane lost her parents as a little girl but ended up being adopted by her dad's best friend, William, whose son had said she was the prettiest baby he had ever seen and wanted to marry her when she grew up. The son was serving in the military when she moved in with his mom and dad. Jane continued her father's job as a preacher and then after William's wife died, she took care of him. A couple of years later William (the son) came home and fell in love with her and they got married. They heard William Clayton preaching about Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon and they eventually were baptized. They left for Nauvoo and then moved west with the saints. In Jane's own words at 82 she wrote, "I heard Joseph Smith preach and I know that he was prophet of God."

Sarah heard about the gospel while living in England. She knew it was true and was baptized against the wishes of her family. She wanted to go to Zion with the rest of the saints but her parents said that if she went then they would have nothing to do with her ever again. She chose to go. She cut all of her hair off in order to buy passage on the ship and then she hid in a big black kettle on board so that her older brothers wouldn't find her and try to stop her. She made it to Utah with the rest of the saints but she never heard from her family again. She gave up everything in order to go to Zion.

So....which one do you think it should be? Cory won't go for Sara Jane, I already tried. :)

Clothes, Clothes, Clothes

Today I have been consumed with clothes. I have spent the day sorting through clothes, washing clothes, packing up summer clothes, and putting the fall/winter clothes in drawers. Now that I've done this I'm sure that the weather is going to warm up and my girls are going to be wondering where all of the shorts went. I really hope the cool weather is here to stay.

The other issue that I'm having with clothes is my clothes. I am having a serious dilemma. I can't wear any of my maternity pants. All of my maternity pants are the kind with the small waistband, not the full one. Well, I have been wearing them when I go places but as soon as I get home I run to my closet, pull out my black yoga/stretch/I want to be as comfortable as possible pants that I have had for like 4 years now. They are starting to fade and are looking pretty pathetic.

The small waistband on my maternity pants are SO uncomfortable. I was thinking about this the other day, wondering why they are so horrible to wear this pregnancy. I have figured it out. It is hurting my incision from Clairisa. The doctors were in such a hurry to get her out that they had to do a serious emergent C-section, which means that my scar starts a little bit below my belly button and runs about 6 inches down, it was a vertical cut. I don't know why it is irritating it so badly, but it is. Which means that every morning I look in my closet and wonder what I am going to wear. I could just wear my black stretch pants, but I just feel so yucky when I wear them out. I feel like one of those moms that have totally given up on how they look. That sounds really mean I know, but you know what I mean ? (If you are one of those people that wear them out a lot, I'm so sorry, I'm sure they look fabulous on you.) I guess I could just go and buy new stretch pants or full waistband maternity, but it is so much easier and cheaper to just complain to Cory everyday. :) J/K, well kindof.

A GREAT talk

I have been studying up and trying to get ideas for YW in Excellence. The theme is going to be "For such a time as this". As I was looking up talks, I ran across this one from Elder Holland and his wife from the 2007 BYU Women's Conference. Here is the link. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!!!!

Pictures from the Week

Last night we went and cheered Cory on at his softball game. The girls had a great time pushing a little girl around in her stroller. Just know that Katelund picked out her own outfit and I let her wear it, pants tucked into boots and all, because remember I am encouraging confidence. :)

The picture with the September calendar is Katelund's behavior chart. When I looked at the calendar (it is sent home at the end of the month), I was laughing hysterically. Click on the picture and read what she did on September 2nd. The last picture is just a fun one of Cloey. It just shows her personality so much.

Tact....or Tactless

Katelund has the day off of school today. So, I decided to take the girls to Subway for lunch (it is like the only place I go out for lunch, on the rare occasions that I do go out) because I can spend $5 and get a foot long cut up into three sections, water, and free cookies (I love how they give me free cookies because they think my girls are so cute...or maybe they give away free cookies to all kids...I think I'll stick with my first theory). Anyways, we are sitting at a table eating our delicious sandwiches ( I LOVE subway sandwiches) and there are quite a few other people within close proximity of us who are all eating alone and I'm sure listening (not by choice) to every word that comes out of my children's mouths because for some reason they are talking at super loud levels (maybe I need to take them out more). Then the following conversation took place.....

Cloey: "Look Mommy, did you see how I used good manners and coughed into my elbow."
Me: "Good job Cloey, I'm so glad you were listening when I taught you to do that in preschool."
Katelund: "Well I already learned how to do that a long time ago."
Me: "I'm so glad that you remember."
Katelund: "Well actually I wasn't taught that, it is like the only thing that I remember from heaven."
Me: "Really?"
Cloey: "Well I remember something from heaven too."
Me: "What is that?" (I lower my voice to try and get the conversation down to a whisper because I have no idea what is about to come out of her mouth).
Cloey: "I remember learning that President Monson, the prophet, is the most special person in our world."
Me:"You are right, he is very special."
Katelund: "Well, now I remember something else from heaven too. I remember that my spirit and my brain are really important."
Katelund: (looking at the window and getting distracted) "Mommy, that man is smoking and that is so bad for him. The prophet told us not to smoke."
Me: "Yes, you are right but....(I went on and had a teaching moment...to everyone in Subway...but then was interrupted by Cloey who was watching the lady who just walked through the door)
Cloey: "Mommy, that lady is not dressed modestly!"

I was mortified! I don't know if she heard, but I know that everyone else around us did.

Apparently I need to teach more about tact and love.

Building Confidence

Totally loved conference. It was AMAZING!!! Top 5 talks....1. Elder Holland (the best part was about half way through as I am bawling my eyes out, I look over and Cory has his glasses off and is wiping away his own tears...man, I love that boy). 2. Elder Bednar (need I say more?) 3. Kent D. Watson (I so need to be more temperate) 4. H. David Burton (loved the content but also loved his word play at the end with the -ity virtues) 5. Michael T. Ringwood (loved his teaching of having an easiness to believe). I also loved hearing the prophet, of course. I felt like the theme of conference was to love God and love others. What a perfect theme for the times we live in.

We had such a great weekend. It all started off with a party for Cory's 12 and 13 year sunday school class on Friday night. There were about 12 youth over and we had a blast with them. Towards the end of the party, Cory took them all over to the Bishop's and they rolled his house. The funny thing was that the bishop's daughter is in his class, so she rolled her own house.

Lately Katelund has been coming home from school embarrassed or upset because she had a hole in her bread at lunch and a boy laughed, or she doesn't have a rolling backpack like the other kids, or she doesn't want to eat a whole apple at lunch because no one else does, or one of her friends said they didn't want to play with her today, etc..... Seriously, it is driving me crazy!! So this morning on the way to school we had a talk. I told her that there are two kinds of people in this world. The leaders, who are confident in who they are and are not afraid to be different, and the followers, who are never happy with themselves because they always want to do and be like everyone else. I then told her how she needs to be a leader and remember how special and important she is. She needs to show the other kids that it is okay to be different and that it is important to just be yourself and not to worry so much about what other kids think. I don't know if my talk will make a difference at all but it really got me thinking about what I need to do at home to help my children become leaders and have confidence in who they are. Is it something you can teach or is it something that just comes with their personality. Katelund does have quite an independent personality and she is always willing to express her opinion or point of view, even when it is different, but maybe that is because she feels safe at home. I just don't know. I build her up, I express and show love to her, I specifically compliment her on things she does well, I focus on her gifts and talents, I give her responsibilities and expectations, but I must still be missing something. Any suggestions?

27 1/2 more hours

I am getting SO EXCITED for General Conference!!!!! I am so ready to be inspired, enlightened, encouraged, and edified by the Lord's servants. I have so many fond memories of conference. As a little girl, I remember sitting around our living room as a family and just dreading the upcoming 2 hours. I didn't understand the importance or significance of the words being spoken. As a teenager, I started to appreciate it a little more, especially when they would speak directly to the youth or when the prophet would speak. As a young married wife, I realized that I had totally missed out on the best sessions of conference growing up....Saturday (my mom always played it in the house but unlike Sunday sessions, it was optional for us kids). For the first time, I began to look forward to conference every 6 months. As the years have past, I swear that conference just keeps getting better and better. In reality, I think that I have just become more prepared and desirous to hear the messages. I feel my spirit yearning for conference and for the spiritual high that always follows.

Of course I have my favorite speakers, those who just seem to pierce my heart and speak directly to my soul. Elder Bednar is of course at the top of my list, and not just because he is the one that signed my diploma, but because he is someone that I could listen to and learn SO much from. I love how he goes so deep into the doctrine and I love the way that he speaks with boldness, clarity, and opens my mind and heart in a way that no one else does. Another one of my favorites is Elder Holland. I LOVE Elder Holland. I feel like I am being taught from my grandpa. He just radiates the love of the Savior with every word he utters. Sister Dalton has also become one of my very favorites. She makes me want to be better. I couldn't think of anybody better to lead the YW around the world. Of course, I also love Sister Beck, President Monson, President Uchtdorf, President Eyring, Elder Nelson, Elder Oaks (have I ever written about my experience with him?), and Sister Thompson and of course all of the incredible musical numbers. I could go on and on.... Who is your favorite speaker or what is your favorite thing about conference?

27 hours and 30 minutes...

What we've been up to....

On Tuesday, we celebrated Cory's 31st birthday. Man, he is getting old!! :) We did exactly what he wanted to do for his birthday. He came home from work early to meet Katelund at the bus stop, went and got pizza for dinner to eat at the ballpark, cheered for Cory while he practiced softball with his league team, and then came home and ate cake (yes, those are pink sprinkles on his cake...they are watermelon flavored and he LOVES them) and finally, we watched Monsters vs. Aliens together as a family. It doesn't sound too exciting but it was a lot of fun and exactly what he wanted.

I have also been meaning to post some "projects" I've been doing lately. First one was a prize for a Standards Night game I did for the youth. I gave all of the participants a twix with a little paper that said, "Don't ever let the world come betwix' you and the Lord's standards." I also made my very first crocheted baby hat. We did it for a personal progress activity in YWs. We are going to donate them to a hospital (thanks for the idea Andrea). Did you notice how I did mine in blue and then also added the cute scalloped edge? Yea, that was not supposed to go on the boy hat, but I just HAD to do it b/c it was so cute. What can I say? Oh, by the way I'm officially having another girl. That's right....4 girls!!!! I know it is Cory's fault. I keep telling him that b/c he is such a cute daddy with little girls and does things that most dads wouldn't ever do, all the little girls are lining up in heaven waiting to be his daughter. Anyways, my last project was part of our leadership training in YWs. At the end of it, I told the girls that when you work together as a presidency it is like a synchronized dance. So.....of course I had to teach them the Hoedown Throw Down from Hannah Montana. Speaking of, I so love the name Miley. Would that be totally tacky or lame to name the baby Miley??? Katelund loves the idea!

Okay, before I end this super long post, I just have to post some of the cute things that Cloey has said lately. The other morning (at 6:30 am) Cory, Cloey, and I got in our hot tub and as Cloey looked up at the stars she said, "Wow, look at all those shines." At the doctor's office I was explaining to Cloey how the doctor was going to look at the baby and see if it is a boy or girl. She thought for a second and then said, "so if the baby is a girl it will be wearing a skirt and if it's a boy he'll be in pants?" The other day at dinner Cloey looked down at the meatloaf on her plate and said, "this is a disaster Mommy." Then at dinner last night she looked down at her Hawaiian haystack and said, "Mommy, this is lovely." She has also been singing the following line over and over and over and OVER again..."I wear high heels you wear t-shirts." (It's from a Taylor Swift song that we love). She cracks me up!

Okay, I'm done.

my issue of blood

I am officially halfway through. This pregnancy has been very characteristic of the other three. I have had heartburn, nausea, puking, fatigue, charlie horses in my calf, and the ever-expanding waist line...but it has also been very different. I have a blotchy complexion, teenage acne, nausea that will not go away, and some major gagging issues. I have also felt greater levels of fear, peace, strength beyond my own, nervousness, anxiety, overwhelming joy, excitement, and relief. This was the week in my last pregnancy when the bleeding began. There has not been a trace of blood this pregnancy and for that I feel incredibly grateful.

I have a picture that I keep in the back of my YWs binder. I actually cut it out from a calendar that I had last year. It is a picture of the woman who had an issue of blood reaching out to touch the robe of the Savior. When I first saw this picture I fell in love with it because I found myself in her place. I had lost Clairisa and I was still bleeding. I had been bleeding for about 12 weeks but even more than that, I felt as if my heart had been wounded so deeply that it was just gushing out blood and life. At that moment, I felt as if it was me in the picture. It was me who was desperately crying out for help. Reaching out to the One who not only knew exactly what I was going through but who also knew how to heal my bleeding heart. It was in that moment that I fell to my knees and fervently prayed for strength beyond my own. Just like that woman, I too felt and continue to feel of His healing power in my life.

I keep that picture in my binder because I never want to forget. I never want to forget the miracles that took place and the faith that was forged during that time in my life. There have been other times in my life where I have felt as if my heart was being ripped right out of my chest, and I know that there will be many more. After all, that is part of the mortal experience, right? But, I know, just as I knew in that moment, that if I am constantly seeking and reaching out for the Healer, that he will not only heal my heart, but he will also give me the strength to continue onward with unwavering faith and renewed hope.

life is good

I'm feeling the baby move all of the time...

today is the start of fall...

Standards Night (this last Sunday) was a success...

I've got some good ideas for YW in Excellence...

Katelund's attitude has greatly improved lately...

the leak in our basement is fixed...

I think I see a little bit of the sun today...

Cory gave me an awesome pedicure last night...

preschool went well today...

...did I mention that I am feeling the baby move all of the time? All of the other things are good, but the baby moving is making life wonderful.

sick of the rain

Seriously, what is the deal with all of the rain???? I know that I shouldn't complain too much because there may be someone out there who has been praying for the rain, but too much of a good thing is no longer a good thing, right? I usually love Saturdays. We spend the day together as a family doing yard work, bike riding, playing at the park, anything and everything that involves being outdoors and being together. Today we are just stuck at home.

I did have a very successful trip to Goodwill this morning and got a cute maternity shirt (which was actually pretty amazing since apparently only three people donate maternity clothes to the Goodwill here) and I also got 16 books for $4!!! Sweet! I love getting children's books. When Cory's mom and I used to thrift store shop together in Fayetteville, we would literally walk in the doors of the store and race each other to the bookshelves to see who could find the best children's books. And just so you know, I don't settle for just any book. It has to be a really cute book in really good condition in order for me to buy it because I already have so many at home.

On to other news, last night I swear I heard a man say "ow" really loud in the middle of the night. This is what was running through my head; "oh no, there is a man in our house coming after the girls and he just tripped on something." I immediately woke Cory up. He grabbed his gun and started searching the house (I think this is like the 4th or 5th time since living here that I have frantically woke him up in the night to search the house b/c I saw or heard someone). I think I must be going crazy. Or maybe he is the one that is crazy b/c he was the one walking around the house with a gun (don't worry, it was unloaded). When he was out of town earlier this week, I swear a saw a little child standing beside my bed. When I sat up to look closer, he or she was gone. Wierd huh? Yep, I definitely think I'm going crazy (and now so do you).

And last but not least, there are officially 4 more days until fall begins! YEAH!!! I love the fall. It is definitely my favorite season ever!

Mommy Preschool

For the last 5 weeks, Cloey has been going to preschool, or as the kids like to call it "Mommy Preschool". She seriously LOVES it!! I think the only thing she doesn't like about it is the fact that it isn't everyday. My friend, Celeste, started a joy school with me and 5 other moms who also have 4 year olds. We rotate teaching every 5 weeks and we have it every Tuesday and Thursday from 9-12:30. I started my teaching rotation today. It was so much fun!!! I could hardly sleep last night because I just couldn't stop thinking about how I was going to do everything. Although there were a couple of little things that I will do differently on Tuesday, it turned out great. Today and next week, I am teaching about the five senses. Today I gave them a taste testing with some random foods. I put them all in cups and then put tin foil over the top so they wouldn't know what it was I was feeding them. Then they would glue the color of square that matched the food on their chart to graph which foods they loved, liked, or did not like. It was hilarious to see some of their reactions to cottage cheese. Anyways, I could go on and on about it. I am so excited to teach again on Tuesday. It just makes me realize how much I miss teaching children. I love the youth, but there is just something about the look in a child's eyes when they discover something new or get excited about something you do. It's the best.

On another note, I want to wish my mom (in-law) a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I love her SO MUCH!!!! She truly is one of my best friends!!! Her and my mom are the greatest examples and influences on my life. I couldn't imagine my life without either one of them. Happy 32nd (she is actually 52 but nobody believes it) birthday!!!!

Rewind Please!

It is 9:30 pm and I am totally having a pity party all by myself. It has just been one of those days where things were just so crazy. I just felt like I was running with my head cut off from one thing to the next. Wake up at 5 am because Cloey peed in her bed (something she rarely ever does) and then wake up again at 6:30 because I feel something wet in my bed (apparently she didn't get it all out in her bed). Take all the sheets off the beds, scrub our mattress, and start the laundry. Drag Katelund out of bed, get her to school on time (she goes really slow in the mornings), come home write up my agenda for presidency meeting, take Cloey to school, stay and watch for a little bit since I will be taking over on Thursday (Cloey is doing a Joy school this year. There are 7 kids and each of the moms are teaching for 5 weeks at a time...Cloey LOVES it!!!), run to presidency meeting (okay not run, but I did drive way too fast), run (again, I mean drive quickly) to pick up Cloey, go home and make lunch. Clean up the house, tell Cloey to go play by herself so I can work on some YW stuff, pick up Katelund at bus stop, go to store to pick up ingredients for dinner, get totally annoyed at my children because they want me to buy everything they see at the store and they kept getting in and out of the cart, make dinner as fast as I can to take to the missionaries by 5:00 (made broccoli soup and it turned out not so good) . On the way to the missionaries, stop at the end of the street because there in the middle of the road is Cloey's missing shoe (don't even ask). Drive home quickly because Katelund is dying of starvation, do dishes while Katelund works on homework (which takes at least an hour every night) and then get frustrated with her because she is not focusing, put sheets on all the beds, go through bedtime routine, sing a million songs to try and get Katelund to go to sleep, and then call Cory (he is out of town for business). Then after I thought things were settled down so I could finish a book I'm reading for book club next week, Katelund peeks into my room. What followed just topped off my bad mom moments for the day. I got upset at her for still being up at 9 pm and told her to get in her bed and go to sleep. She then begins crying and telling me how I'm always getting upset with her and she feels like she is always in trouble when she's home. I apoligized, held her in my bed until she fell asleep, and then just cried. I hate it when at the end of the day I realize what a horrible mother I have been. I hate it when I get so caught up in the things that I need to do that I forgot the tender feelings of my little girls and I forget that my main responsiblity is to nurture and love them. If only I could push rewind.

Roxy Withdrawl

Over Labor Day weekend, we were asked to puppy sit for Logan and Becca while they drove down to Texas for the BYU vs OU game (YEAH COUGARS!!!). I was very hesitant to agree because....well just look at the pictures, they say it all. I knew that my girls would be totally smitten and begging for their own puppy once she left. Well I was right, except for one thing. Not only were they totally smitten....so were Cory and I. I think she was treated more like a baby than a dog. Between Katelund, Cloey, and I she was held almost 24/7. If only they had puppy diapers, that would have made the visit perfect. :) We had so much fun playing with her. It was really hard for the girls to say goodbye, in fact, I think I even wiped a tear away.

Good thing she'll be coming back to visit at Thanksgiving. We can hardly wait...oh and we're excited to have Becca and Logan come too. :)

The Process of Becoming

Do you remember when you were 17 and you thought that life was so busy and stressful? I do. I remember thinking that it would be so much easier when I was a mom that got to stay home all day and do whatever I wanted to do. I had no idea. Don't get me wrong, I love being a stay-at-home mom and I love to have the freedom of doing whatever I need to do (whether it is mop the floor, read a book, do the laundry, call a friend, or go to the park). It is great, but there is also a lot to balance. I often wonder if I am spending enough time loving my children or too much time disciplining them. Do I spend too much time cleaning and not enough time serving others? Do I focus too much on pushing Katelund to do and be better and not enough time praising her for what she is doing well? Do I give enough attention to Cloey? Do I give enough or too little attention to my calling ( I was just recently called to be the Young Women President)? Do I show enough charity or am I stumbling on my pride (I'm afraid it is more often the later)? Do I do enough as a visiting teacher? Do I pray fervently enough? Do I focus on the best things or do I become preocuppied with good or useless things? Am I doing enough? That is a question that is constantly on my mind.

Last night as I was tucking the girls into bed, they asked me to lay beside them and sing them to sleep. I went through all of my usuals and then I just kept singing. I started singing "I Know that My Redeemer Lives". As I sang the song, my spirit soared within me and I felt overcome with emotion as I once again received the undeniable witness that Jesus Christ is my Redeemer. Alone, I will never be or do enough, but with Him I know I can do and become my very best. For me, the hard part is wanting to become my very best today and becoming overwhelmed and fustrated when I'm not (which has been happening a lot lately). But the process of becoming takes a lifetime and it is not always an easy climb.

When I was student teaching in Kindergarten, I remember complaining to the teacher about how frustrated I was because I would come up with these really cute art projects for the kids but then when they would do them, it would just not look anything like what I had wanted or expected. I'll never forget what she said to me, "Melissa, don't forget that most often the process is more important than the product." That line has become a life lesson for me, whether it is in my calling, with my children, or in my own process of becoming....the process is not easy and not always pretty but it is the most important part because it determines the product....the product of who we have become, or rather, who the Lord helps us to become, after a lifetime of uphill climbing.

My 6 year old

Katelund turned 6 on August 10th, the day that we left for Utah. We tried really hard to make it a special day for her, but it is a little hard when you spend the entire day on the road. Before we left, we had our traditional pancake birthday breakfast and opened presents and then once we were on the road we stopped in the afternoon and got her a shake at Sonic and let her listen to whatever music she wanted, but I still think she was feeling kinda jipped. But no worries, because Aunt Amber knew just what to do. She planned a suprise Hello Kitty birthday party for her when she got to Utah. I think it was the best birthday party she has ever had because she actually had cousins, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, and uncles there. After the birthday cake, hamburger donuts from Lehi Bakery, and presents, we went and spent the rest of the day at the water park. It was so much fun and Katelund is still talking about how much she loved her birthday party. Thanks Aunt Amber (oh except for the loud and obnoxious gifts that you and Brittney so kindly got for her)!!

The boy of my dreams...

Yesterday afternoon Cory called me and asked me what I was planning for dinner. I told him that we were having fish (talapia is one of my favorites!!!), rice, corn, and tomatoes. Then he asked me if I could start the rice at 4 so that we could eat at 5 when he got home. I told him I would and then I got off the phone a little confused. Was he trying to tell me something? Am I not getting dinner on the table fast enough for him when he gets home or what? I let go of my pride and decided that if he is really hungry when he gets home from a long day at work then I should be more than willing to start dinner a little earlier (usually I am still trying to decide what meal to cook by the time 5 rolls around). Anyways, he got home and ran to his bedroom. Then he came out dressed really hot and told me to eat dinner and get ready while he goes to get the babysitter because we are going on a date. I couldn't have been more suprised or excited! Not only were we going on a date (which has been long over due) but he had also arranged it all, babysitter and everything, without me knowing. I was SO EXCITED!!! It was so good and so fun to be on a date with the boy that I fell in love with so many years ago. On August 19th, we celebrated our 9th anniversary. We did nothing spectacular, but I did realize something incredibly spectacular....after 9 years of ups and downs, I can honestly say that I am more in love with him today than I have ever been. He truly was and is the boy and man of my dreams.

Stefani and Nate's Wedding

It is hard to know where to start. Life has been good but very busy. So instead of doing a whirlwind post, I decided to start with our trip to Utah for Stefani and Nathan's wedding. We drove the 28 hours and actually had a lot of fun doing it. There were priceless moments along the way as Katelund and Cloey saw different parts of the country and savored every moment of it. For example, as we were driving through Nebraska at 6 am in the morning (we drove straight throught) Katelund woke up and as she saw the sunrise she said, "Wow, this is the most beautiful land I've ever seen." I think that the girls favorite part was the "moving hotel". We layed the seats down in the van so that they could sleep laying down and with their seatbelts on. It worked perfectly. Cory and I made a big deal about how fun it was going to be to sleep in our moving hotel. They totally bought in, and to this day Cloey will tell you that it was her favorite part of the trip.

Being in the temple with all of Cory's family was amazing!!! It is moments like those where you can see glimpses of eternity. The whole wedding was incredible and so was the reception. All I can say is Amber (my sister-in-law) is AMAZING!!! Have you ever seen the Friends episode where Monica is the maid of honor for Phoebe? Well that was Amber. She was incredible and had worked so hard for like 6 months to pull it off. The reception was held outside at a park across from Mt. Timpanogas Temple. We did all of the decorating, food, etc. It was tons of work but we had so much fun doing it! I'll have to post some pictures of how beautiful it looked.

One of the best parts of the trip was seeing the girls have so much fun with all of their cousins. It really is a bitter sweet thing to watch. Your happy they have so much fun together but your sad because you know that it is only like a once in a year thing. I really do not like living so far from family. It is really sad to know that between Cory and I's siblings, we cover every time zone in the U.S.

Unfortunately, our time was so packed with wedding preparation and partying that we didn't get hardly any spare time to visit other relatives and friends in Utah. It was so hard driving back home knowing all of the people that I wish I could've seen while I was there. I guess that is just how it goes sometimes, I guess we'll just have to go back.

On Sunday, we took the girls and two of their cousins to Temple Square. We went on a tour of the Conference Center and everything. We had way too much fun toting around 4 little girls. I'm thinking this may be a sign of things to come....the doctor thinks that we may be having another little girl. Seriously? What is up with the boy genes in my husband? I'm totally blaming it on him. But....there is still a chance because he (yes, I am calling the baby he) was in a difficult position to really see "the part" that we wanted to see. Either way, we'll be happy. But, I'd really like to do the boy thing someday. Okay, enough for now. I'll update more tomorrow.

I'M BACK....

....and I have so much to say!!! Where do I even begin? I guess since it is 11:13 pm and I stayed up until 1 am last night (I couldn't sleep b/c of my obnoxious coughing and because my mind was whirling with ideas for the latest project I've been working on), I better just say goodnight and start my catching up tomorrow. But, I just had to post something!!! I took a much needed break from the virtual world, but I am very happy to be back.

Getting Down and Dirty

Do you ever have those days when you realize that things just have to change? This happened to me the other day. I have spent so much time over the last couple of weeks doing a lot of things that I wanted/needed to do, which meant that my children have basically been entertaining themselves. I don't think there is anything wrong with that...I think it is important for children to use their imagination and self-entertain, but on the other hand, I also think it is important as a mother to stop the day to day routines periodically and just be one of the kids. There are times in my life were I am really good at doing that and then there are other times (like the last couple of weeks) where I am not. So....I got down and dirty.....and had SO MUCH FUN doing it!! It is amazing how easy it is to make children happy. All of the clean up afterwards was so worth the smile and excitement on their faces when they saw me come out the backdoor in my swimming suit and ready for a mud ball fight.

Update

Today I went to my doctor for another appointment. Everything went great and the baby was as cute as a black and white ultrasound baby can look. My doctor said that next month he will be able to tell me the sex of the baby. I'll be dreaming in blue until then. :)

As the doctor was telling me about all of the reports that he got back from my last doctor's office and the hospital, he went on to reassure me that the chances of it all happening again was very small (which is quite a common phrase in my family). He told me that he believed that it was the will of God. I told him that I knew that it was and then he said, "and if it all happens again, then it all happens again." As he said this to me, I felt this incredible feeling of peace. In that moment, I knew that there was nothing to fear. If I lose another child in mortality, then so be it. I know that it is all in the Lord's hand and I trust in His plan for me and my family. The fear is gone.

In other news, I just got finished reading an AMAZING book for book club. I am now reading the 2nd one in the series. I strongly recommend it, but just so you know....it is historical fiction (my favorite genre) and it goes into a lot of detail about the Roman civilization after the destruction of Jerusalem, which was pretty disgusting and wicked (actually it is pretty scary how similar it is to today's society). The series is called the Mark of the Lion. The first book is called A Voice in the Wind. The author is one of my very favorites....Francine Rivers (an amazing Christian writer). It is a long book but it is one where the pages literally turn themselves because it is that good.

A Teacher I Admire

As a mother, I love to brag on my kids. I love it when they say sweet things or when they make good choices. There are many posts on my blog about those very moments and I am so glad that I have recorded them, so that I will never forget. But, this time I want to brag on my husband. Cory was called to be the Sunday School teacher over the 12 and 13 year olds. He has taken this calling and literally run with it. These kids are so lucky to have him. He spends so much time during the week preparing for his lessons. He does power points, he sends out a weekly email, and he is constantly thinking about what he can do better. He has actually gotten the kids to read their study guides each week in preparation for class (it helps that he occasionally brings candy bars for those who did it). He also starts his class each week with highlighting a Book of Mormon hero and challenges them to read more about them on their own. He has even asked the kids to come prepared to teach about a Book of Mormon hero (one that is not well known). He has been such an inspiration to me!! He has shown me what it means to magnify your calling. Just so you can see what I mean, here is some of the email that he sent out this week....

My young friends:

An assignment was given to each of you at the end of class last week. It was to read the following scriptures and answer the following questions. Now as I am asking you to do this, please keep in mind that I don't want you to answer these questions with answers that you think I want to hear or to appease me. These are questions for you to have answers for in your own life when you are placed in a situation that is trying to get you to compromise your beliefs. For those who would really like to go the extra mile, I would strongly encourage you to sit down with you parents and do this exercise with their help and input. Have a phone handy when you do this, cause they will probably immediately go into shock after you request their help to answer these questions and you will need to be able to call for an ambulance. LOL

Here is the exercise:

D&C 121:45 - What does it mean to garnish thy thoughts unceasingly?

D&C 27:15-18 - How can we keep evil or un-virtuous thoughts out of our minds?

How can we more actively fill our minds with virtuous thoughts?

I really look forward to your answers, and to see which of you will have the most heart-felt and detailed answers.

Between each class, from Sunday to Sunday, 10,080 minutes will pass by, of this total surely you can find 30 mins to dedicate to the Lord and prepare yourselves for class this week. Please take the time and prepare yourselves to feel the spirit and continue increasing your very own testimony! This week we will talk about missionary work. In addition to including the study guide I have included the reading from Our Heritage, which, is a part of our lessons, please read it, it's only 10 small paragraphs, won't take you that long to complete. This week I will be teaching exclusively from the study guide, so be prepared to discuss what you've read and studied!

Dear President Obama,

At one point I believed in you. I believed that you really did want to make good changes, that you would help our country in ways that were so desperately needed. I stood up for you. I even thought for a time that I would vote for you. I ended up not voting for you though, because when it comes down to it, I am a conservative and I always will be. I just could not justify voting for someone who is so liberal in his moral views, but I still had hope for you when you won. Unfortunately, my hope for you is beginning to fade. Today I read a 17 page article about government and the purposes of government by Ezra Taft Benson. I worry for our country and I'm afraid that all of the things that you are doing to "help" is actually creating a people who use the government as a crutch. A people who will never learn to walk on their own because they don't have to. I thought that there had to be a way to help those people who just couldn't afford health care or who just seemed to need that extra bit of help because for whatever reason they were stuck in the vicious cycle of poverty. I still hope and pray that those people get the help that they need, but now I can clearly see that the help that they need should be from their neighbors or their families, not from their government. As I continue to learn, listen, and watch, I see that the change that must take place in America needs to come from the inside out. We need to change. We need to be more charitable. We need to be more hard-working. We need to be more honest, virtuous, and God-fearing. We need to protect and defend our families, our homes, and our liberty. Mr. Obama, I will continue to pray for you and for all of the governemnt officials. I will pray that the Lord will show you a better way. That He will show us all a better way. May we all rise up to the challenges before us, that the future of this country will reflect the greatness and humility of its beginnings.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen

Randomness

I think it is time for a "randomness" post. Here are all of my random thoughts for the day...

* Tonight I am having book club at my house. Totally didn't even read the book. Oops.

*Yesterday I told the girls that if they didn't get their chores done that they couldn't play at the park or check out books at the library (we always go the park after our library trips). As I walked out of the library empty-handed ( I am usually carrying a stack of 50 plus books...okay not really, but around 15) I realized that the whole no-checking-out-books punishment was pretty lame. Who punishes their children by withholding books??? Apparently, I do.

*I made brownies last night to serve to the missionaries after dinner. I should know this by know, but just so I have it in writting...NEVER add ingredients when you are in a conversation. After I took the brownies out and realized that they were saturated in grease, I realized that I added 1 and 2/3 cup oil instead of just 2/3 cup. One of the elders actually ate some...bless his heart....literally...bless his heart so he won't have a heart attack!!!

*My mind has been consumed with something that is going to happen that I cannot talk about at this point. I am feeling...consumed (I can't think of a better word) Don't you hate it when people start something but don't finish?

* Next week I register Katelund for first grade.

*The week after that we are leaving for our long car ride to Utah so that we can see Cory's little sister, Stefani, get married. She is going to be one beautiful bride!

*I can't eat ice cream or peaches. Both of them make me throw-up.

*Can I just tell you how much I love to listen to talks by Elder Maxwell? He is one of the people that I can't wait to meet in heaven!!! Speaking of favorite people....our Bishop told an awesome story on Sunday about an experience he witnessed with Elder Bednar. (you don't really know me if you don't know how much I LOVE Elder Bednar) I'll have to write a whole post on just that story. I'll save it for a rainy day.

In Memory of...

These words were written to me today in an email from my sister-in-law/one of my greatest friends of all time. I couldn't have said it any better.

..."Because of the gospel of Jesus Christ and His perfect plan of Happiness, I feel that I know things about Clairisa that others might deem impossible to know. I know that she inherited all those beautiful virtues that her mother possesses so completely {apparently she has lived away from me for way too long}. I know that she is full of courage, as, I have no doubt, that she full-heartedly volunteered to fulfill her role in your family. It must have taken a courageous soul. I know that she is full of knowledge. She must have had a comprehensive understanding of what her short life would mean. I'm sure that she knew it would be hard and cause heartache for so many, but I know that she must have understood the big picture, as does the Lord. I know that she is full of a testimony of her Savior, Jesus Christ. Of this I have no question, because I felt the overwhelming power of her spirit this time a year ago. I know that she is valiant. After all, she only needed a body. I know that she is righteous. Her righteousness was something that our Heavenly Father needed more than we did. I know that she possesses that quality that most of us strive a lifetime to achieve, even charity. I think that everything she was meant to do leads every one of us back to our Father in Heaven. Through the many acts of service that were given because of her, the best was brought out in all of us. She undoubtedly encourages us all to partake in the pure love of Christ. I know that she is perfect. At that day, when the Savior comes again, she will be with her Father in Heaven and if we live up to our covenants we shall be privileged to see her as she really is, perfect, exalted, and celestial.
Happy Perfection Day Clairisa! We love you!"

Happy Pioneer Day!!!

This poem was in the Ensign a couple of years ago, and it has always been one of my favorites.

Faith to Follow
by Lisa South

I dream of being a Moses, an Esther,
A Nephi--And despair that I
Don't have that
Greatness in me.
But thenI remember--
God doesn't require greatness,
He requires faith;
And some of us must have
The faith to follow.

Pioneers: Day Four

I am an 8th generation Mormon on every single genealogical line. I feel so much gratitude for the ancestors that preceded me and for the legacy that they left behind. I have some pretty amazing footsteps to follow, and for that I feel deeply humbled and blessed. But, I have often wondered what it would be like to be the first one in your family to join the church, to be a modern day pioneer. Cory's dad is just that. He joined the church when he was 21 years old. He made that life-changing decision to step into the unknown and act upon his faith in order to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. He has been an active strong member of the church ever since. He and his wife have raised 5 incredible children. All three of the boys have served 2 year missions for the church and as of next month, all 5 children will be sealed to their spouses in the temple.

He is a modern day pioneer. A man who walks in faith and who taught his children to do the same. I absolutely love this picture of him holding Clairisa because I see a grandpa who loves and cherishes his granddaughter, a man who has given his life and heart to God and who knows what it means to anchor himself in faith and cleave unto hope. I will never forget his loving embrace in the hospital or his tender words spoken at the graveside service. I feel so blessed to have two of the most incredible fathers in my life, my own father and my father-in-law, a pioneer in every sense of the word.

Pioneers: Day Three

The last two stories have both been from my Dad's side of the family. The following story is from my Mom's side. I LOVE this story...it has always been one of my favorites.

Sarah Ann Weeks joined the church as a youth. She did so against the wishes of her parents. She wanted so badly to join the Saints in America, but her parents told her that if she left they would no longer have her as a daughter. She chose to leave. She cut off all of her hair in order to pay for the expense of crossing the Atlantic. When she boarded the boat, her brothers came aboard looking for her in order to make her go back home. With the approval of the captain, she found a big kettle in the kitchen and hid in it the whole way to America so that nobody would find her or stop her from making it to Zion. She eventually made it to Salt Lake City, but her parents kept their word and never corresponded with her again.

Pioneers: Day Two

Joseph Smith Black was the son of Jane Johnston and William Young Black. He was baptized in Nauvoo when he was 8 years old by George Q. Adams, who added the Smith to his name when he was in the water. While living in Nauvoo, he went to Warsaw to go and help another family move. While he was there he remembers boys and old men hooting and yelling at him and some of them threatening to kill him because he was a Mormon.

He arrived in Salt Lake City when he was 14 years old. Later on in his life, he moved to Deseret where he became a bishop of that ward. In his obituary, the following was said about him;

"During the dam-building age to Deseret's checkered history the people were very, very poor. Bishop Black ran a large mercantile business and varied his dam building enterprise with the equally disastrous task of attempting to feed the poorer ones of his spiritual flock, and it can be truthfully said of him that no needy person ever applied to Bishop Black for aid or credit at his store and was refused. His big generous hand was ever extended to those less fortunate than himself. His confidence in the honesty of his fellowmen was unbounded. If one of his clerks in the store robbed him he forgave him and continued to treat him as a brother and a friend.

Joseph S. Black was a pioneer in all that the word, in it best sense, conveys. His career is ended, and whatever the future holds for those who have done their duty in this life, as God gave them ability and strength to do it, he will receive its fullness."

Pioneers: Day One

When I used to teach music in Primary (my favorite calling of all time), I loved to teach the pioneer songs. I loved to dress up like a pioneer and I loved to tell the stories! It is probably one of my favorite holidays because it just means so much to me, maybe because I marvel at the sacrifices that were part of everday life for them, or maybe it is because I find my faith increased after I read of theirs. Whatever the reason, I stand in awe of them and the legacy that they have left behind. To me, they are the ultimate example of a people who humbly and willingly gave up everything in order to find freedom from persecution and obey the will of God. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like to live back then.

Pioneer Day is on the 24th of July. This morning as I was thinking about what I was going to do to celebrate them, I decided to write about a pioneer everyday this week. To start off, I am going to write about my 4th great grandparents...Jane Johnston Black and William Young Black. Both of them were born in Ireland. After all of their parents had died, they moved to Manchester, England. {They actually have quite an amazing love story, but in order to not drag this post on forever, I have chosen to just include some selected parts}.

The following is in Jane's own words:

"We did go in what was called Paul Harris Cellar. William Clayton and Joseph Fielding addressed us. It was glad tidings and great joy to my husband and me. We both believed and on about January 14, 1839 we were baptized by Elder Clayton. In the year 1840, the chilldren and I [William was serving a mission in England] traveled to Nauvoo and saw and heard the Prophet Joseph Smith and I can testify the he truly was a Prophet of God.

We then moved to Nauvoo and lived there until the Saints were driven from their homes and across the Mississippi River....We had nothing to eat except on half bushel of corn meal and a half dozen cucumbers that were given to me. There were a great many sick among us and nothing to comfort them and nourish them but cornmeal until the Lord sent quail amongst us which supplied our needs. They were so tame some of them would light on the beds of the sick and they could reach out their hands and catch them. We had nothing to sweeten anything until the Lord sent honey dew, which we gathered from the bushes until we had all we could use. How grateful we were for these blessings.

The Saints moved on to Winter Quarters and we went with them. We stayed there about a year and then started across the plains on our journey to the Salt Lake Valley. We often walked from fifteen to twenty miles per day, but many times the going was very slow and hard. We walked to ease the load our team had to haul. After a weary and toilsome journey of more than a thousand miles we arrived in Salt Lake City in the Fall of 1850.

{So I just told this story to Katelund and Cloey and when I got to the part about them not having hardly any food and all of the people that were sick, Cloey stopped me. She had tears all in her eyes and said, "Mommy, can we please go and take them some food and drive them to our house so we can take care of them?"}

LOVE THIS!!!!

I can't figure out how to post this video, so here is the link.....Mormon Message.

I love all of the Mormon Messages, but this one has to be my very favorite!!! I hope that you will watch it, especially if you are not a Mormon (it's a great way to find out what we believe).

Note to Self:

Don't EVER do the following things...

*go on a walk (without keys) and then leave all of your doors locked.

*tell your children that they will have to stay in the room until it is clean, even if that means all day.

*answer the phone when you are really emotional and have been husbandless for four very long days because you will just fall apart and cry.

*go to a swim meet and let your daughter stand in the chair while she "fixes your hair" and then let her try to get down on her own, lose her balance, and fall on her head straight back on the cement.

*buy blue slushies at Sonic and then let your children drink them in the van.

*leave your keys in your locked car at the gas station while you run into the store real quick with your children and then have to wait at the gas station while your husband (who is driving home from a business trip) calls a policeman in our ward to come break into the car.

*never repeat a day like yesterday.

My New Favorite Website

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this recipe website! Everything that I have made and everything that my sister has made off of here is FABULOUS!!!! Seriously. This week I haven't been feeling so well, but last week....I was a changed woman. My family thought that something crazy had happened because all of the sudden I was cooking new and exciting meals every single night. Not just meals, meals that have fresh ingredients and lots of spices. Three of my favorite meals that I have made from here are the Asian BBQ chicken, the chicken taquitos, and the French dip sandwiches. Let me know if you find any other favorites.

Click here for the link.

"Each Life that Touches Ours for Good"

This was the view out my front window yesterday afternoon. I thought it was so sweet!! They really are the best of friends.

Yesterday, I had one of my friends from the ward come over and make cards with me. We had such a great time and I actually finished about 8 cards. It was not only great to have a friend over, it was so great to have her over. She has such a pure heart and is a great example of endurance, love, and faith in the Lord. She has a brain tumor that is basically uncurable. She is on and off of chemo all of the time, she has a seizure almost every single day, and she struggles with memory loss. But, although she deals with all of these things, she is so happy and has such a positive attitude. She talks about everyone as if they were the most amazing person in the world. I love people like that!!!

I am so thankful that the Lord places certain people in our lifes at certain times to teach us specific things. I could go on and on listing the things that I have learned over the last twenty eight years from the friends and people in my life at certain times. Each person, each of you who read this, have left an impression upon my heart and have taught me something that nobody else could have taught me in quite the same way. That is one of the great advantages of living in so many different places....more people to learn from. Really in the end, I think we are not only a compilation of the experiences and choices we make, but also lifes that have touched ours, the people we have learned from and loved.

And just to prove my point, PLEASE leave a comment about someone recently who has touched your life and then beneath your comment I would like to tell you something that you have taught me (unless I don't know you, of course :) ).

Dear Body,

I know that this is my fourth pregnancy, but STILL!! What is the deal? Is it just that you are so excited and ready for this baby that you feel like you have to make room for him/her in a hurry? I am not complaining about your enthusiasm but I'm pretty sure that by 2 months I should be looking the same. I don't think that this little pooch is supposed to be there yet. At this rate, I'm going to be in maternity clothes by next month, and really I would normally be okay with that, BUT did you forget about the little black dress that I am supposed to be wearing to Stefani's wedding? I don't think there is any room in there for a pooch, and think about how I will be feeling standing next to all of my supermodel size 2 sister-in-laws. Okay, okay....I guess I should just be grateful that you know what you are doing, but don't you remember how everything worked out just fine with the first pregnancy when you didn't start showing until month 6? Or even pregnancy number 2 when it wasn't until month 4-5? I'm just saying...I'm okay with you slowing down a little bit.....unless this is just what you do when I'm having a BOY??? If that's the case, then bring on the maternity clothes!!

Respectfully Yours,
Melissa