Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Building Confidence

Totally loved conference. It was AMAZING!!! Top 5 talks....1. Elder Holland (the best part was about half way through as I am bawling my eyes out, I look over and Cory has his glasses off and is wiping away his own tears...man, I love that boy). 2. Elder Bednar (need I say more?) 3. Kent D. Watson (I so need to be more temperate) 4. H. David Burton (loved the content but also loved his word play at the end with the -ity virtues) 5. Michael T. Ringwood (loved his teaching of having an easiness to believe). I also loved hearing the prophet, of course. I felt like the theme of conference was to love God and love others. What a perfect theme for the times we live in.

We had such a great weekend. It all started off with a party for Cory's 12 and 13 year sunday school class on Friday night. There were about 12 youth over and we had a blast with them. Towards the end of the party, Cory took them all over to the Bishop's and they rolled his house. The funny thing was that the bishop's daughter is in his class, so she rolled her own house.

Lately Katelund has been coming home from school embarrassed or upset because she had a hole in her bread at lunch and a boy laughed, or she doesn't have a rolling backpack like the other kids, or she doesn't want to eat a whole apple at lunch because no one else does, or one of her friends said they didn't want to play with her today, etc..... Seriously, it is driving me crazy!! So this morning on the way to school we had a talk. I told her that there are two kinds of people in this world. The leaders, who are confident in who they are and are not afraid to be different, and the followers, who are never happy with themselves because they always want to do and be like everyone else. I then told her how she needs to be a leader and remember how special and important she is. She needs to show the other kids that it is okay to be different and that it is important to just be yourself and not to worry so much about what other kids think. I don't know if my talk will make a difference at all but it really got me thinking about what I need to do at home to help my children become leaders and have confidence in who they are. Is it something you can teach or is it something that just comes with their personality. Katelund does have quite an independent personality and she is always willing to express her opinion or point of view, even when it is different, but maybe that is because she feels safe at home. I just don't know. I build her up, I express and show love to her, I specifically compliment her on things she does well, I focus on her gifts and talents, I give her responsibilities and expectations, but I must still be missing something. Any suggestions?


Mandy said...

I doubt that you're missing something with Katelund, Melissa. She is going through something most kids go through. Having you and Cory talk to her about it, regularly if you have to, will help her figure out how to handle the things that are bothering her. I love what you said to her today. Keep praying about it, use your FHE, and be the awesome parents you are! I really liked all of the talks you liked. Brad and I looked at each other while Elder Holland was speaking, too. It was very powerful.

Amber said...

Love the post. I, too, loved conference and all of the talks you highlighted.

I, too, wonder often about the whole confidence thing. Sometimes Brooklynn can be so shy it makes me sad. Let me know if you find the secret! :)

The Allphins said...

Conference was awesome! I especially liked Elder Scott's talk about being receptive to the Spirit and Elder Uchtdorf's talk about love. I can't wait until the conference Ensign comes out so I can read them all again!

That is sad that Katelund is so worried about what other kids think that she's embarrassed by holes in her bread. I really doubt it's something you're not doing. I think some people just have a tendency to think that way. Just keep doing what you're doing. Even if you can't completely cure her of it now, you will definitely help her in the long run.

Austyn said...

melissa! how are you??!! love reading all the updates about you guys, and getting good ideas of what i can do with my fam in the future.

what is rolling a house??

Lindsey said...

I really don't think it is something that you aren't doing for Katelund, I just think it's something kids go through. I remember feeling that way all the time in elementary school. My mom made me an egg salad sandwich for lunch once and people made fun of me because they didn't know what it was. I don't think I had an egg salad sandwich again. :) You are doing a great job, don't worry about it. Just keep building up her confidence like you are already doing and everything will work out.

Andrea said...

I just found your blog thru mommy snark. love it!
My girl is the same age and kind of the same. She was all worried one day because I couldn't find her usual lunch bag and I was going to give her a paper bag and she said the kids would all make fun of her. For a paper bag? Someone else said they had the leader talk with their kids a lot, so I think I need to enforce that more- like everyday. Sounds like you're doing good things.

stefimann said...

Melissa I am positive that if someone can teach their children confidence it is you. You are so loving and uplifting, not to mention you are a great example of it yourself. Katelund is a very special girl and the more you remind her of that the more she will remember it. It reminds me of the book my mom use to read to me, Chrysanthemum. Its all about a little girl that is so proud of herself until she starts school and all the children make fun of her name. Then one day a teacher stands up for her and mentions how she is naming her child Delphinium. Read it to Kate and see if it helps her. It helped me know that as long as I am doing what's right, I can have confidence in myself. I love you!!!

Melissa said...


Funny you mention that book. That is exactly the book I pulled out and read to her that very day. LOL. It is a great book.

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