Yesterday I was sitting in church and a family with a 2 month old baby girl came up and sat in front of us. She was in her car seat and so I was thinking, "Okay Melissa, control your emotions. You can do this." Well I was doing just great until they pulled her out of her car seat. As soon as I saw her sweet little face, I lost it. I knew that I wasn't going to be able to pull myself together so I had to leave the chapel. It was kind of embarrassing, but at least I left before the uncontrollable sobbing began. Moments like these come periodically and unexpectedly, but at least it is just moments now, instead of all day, right?
Cory's parents drove up from Fayetteville to be here with us this weekend because I asked them to speak at our Standards Night (a meeting where the youth are reminded of their standards ( i.e. dressing modestly, no dating until 16 yrs. old, observe the Sabbath day, no pornography or immorality, no tattoos, etc.) They did such a great job!!! I love the youth so much and I feel so blessed to serve them. They are constantly teaching me in so many ways. Anyways, today we are going to spend our Labor Day at the Apple Festival here in town. I will post pics tomorrow. This morning Cory and I started the day off with some flag football at the high school. Cory and 9 of his buddies went to play and I went as well because I wanted to run on the track and then watch the game. I actually played for about 30 minutes b/c one of the guys got there late and then I ran 1 mile. Yep, I did it. I ran 1 mile for the first time in 7 months. It felt incredibly good. I am still so out of shape, but I'll get there.
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6 comments:
You go girl....a step at a time....I am proud of you...I will answer your email soon.... alot to think about....Jamie
I had to leave sacrament meeting a few times in the months after we lost Breanna. Sometimes a good cry just feels good and helps a little.
Melissa, Hey! This is Stacy O'Gwin. Can I just tell you that I love your blog? It has put a lot of things into perspective for me. I had no idea of what was going on in your life, obviously, and so I kind of read the whole experience backwards. Can I just tell you that you are and have always been someone I look up to and admire deeply? You seem to have the natural talent of uplifting and bringing out the best in everyone you come in contact with. You have the Pure love of Christ within you that naturally draws others towards you. Everytime I have been with you I have felt uplifted. Even as you are going through one of the deepest trials imaginable, everthing I feel from your blog is about Faith and Hope and Love. You are a very precious daughter of our Heavenly Father and I know He loves you very much. Just reading your blog has made me bawl my eyeballs out and strengthened my faith at the same time. You are a truly amazing person. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I pray that the Lord will heal you a little more each day.
You are still an amazing, wonderful, beautiful and spiritual woman. I can see you are growing stronger each time I read your post. Heavenly Father knows you well and he will continue to help you along.
Lots of love,
Deana
Ditto to Stacy and Deana! I love you!
Melissa,
Oh How much I love you! I cannot even begin to express it into words. I am so proud of you and the progress (even if it doesn't feel like progress) you have made. I take great strength in the fact that you, such an amazing person, are my sister. It's ok to have to leave church.. To be honest it's hard for me to make it through movies or when people talk about their new family additions, let alone be within in touching distance of the sweet angels. I sat on campus the other day and a lady bug crawled on my shoe... I smiled at first and then wept. I couldn't imagine how you were doing it. but you are! and I am so proud and lucky to call you family! Keep that chin up and call if you ever need anything! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!
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