Family Night

Last night for Family Home Evening (our church designates every Monday night to be spent together as family) we did some hard things. First of all, we had to go the shop and pull all of our stuff out of our beloved Jetta. Cory got in an accident a couple of weeks ago while taking Katelund to school. Thankfully, nobody was hurt, except for the cars. They took our car to the shop to fix it, but apparently there was just enough damage that they are now classifying it as "totaled". So we had to go and say goodbye. I loved that car, but oh well, the Lord will provide something else for us. After that we decided to go up to Clairisa's grave site for the first time since the service. We stopped by the store to get some gerber daisies and so we were trying to explain to the girls how although Clairisa's spirit is in heaven, her body is buried in the ground and we were going to go to the spot where her body is and leave some flowers there. Cloey was trying to figure it all out. She suddenly got all excited, and then asked the following question, "so we are going to heaven to take flowers to Clairisa?" We all laughed a little and told her that we couldn't take them to her in heaven so we'll just leave them at her gravesite. To this Cloey said, "I know, we can go to heaven in a helicopter and then we can give the flowers to Claire Lissa (that is how she says her name)". If only that was how it worked. :) Although I think that if it were that easy to get there, then nobody would ever come back to earth.

Obviously, it was really hard to look down at the plot that was still freshly covered up. We all put our hands on the grass that was covering her little casket and we just cried together (well, Cory and I did, the girls were too busy looking at everyone else's flowers). Every part of me (except the logical part) wanted to pull up that rectangular piece of grass and dig out the casket so I could get to my baby and hold her again. I know that sounds weird, but those motherly instincts are just so incredibly strong! Although it was hard, it was also nice to be back there and to just cry in Cory's arms and remember her. It just amazes me how the ties and bonds of a family can be so incredibly strong. Just knowing that we can be together forever as a family if we live righteously, is one of the most motivating incentives for me. I couldn't imagine eternity without my family.