Do I know Him?

I had an epiphany today as I was reading my scriptures. For my personal scripture study, I am reading the New Testament. I have had an incredible experience reading and learning more about the life and ministry of the Savior. But, as I was reading to day my thoughts went back to a conversation that I had last week with the little girl that I was babysitting, Brianna.

Everytime she was over she always asked me what I was reading when I was reading my scriptures. On one of these occassions , she said, "Why do you always read about Jesus?" And I said, "Because I want to learn about Him." She then said, "I don't know Jesus." I said, "Well do you want me to tell you about Him." She said, "No, I just don't know Him." I said, "Well He knows you and I know that He loves you.". She smiled and walked away. Later that night when we were having family prayer, she wanted to say the prayer so she could talk to Jesus.

It was a really cute experience, but it has also really made me think. As much as I learn about Christ's life and ministry, it doesn't really mean a whole lot unless I come to get to know Him, to really know who He is and what His purpose and mission was and is all about. One of my favorite scriptures says, ..."and when that day comes (referring to the day when we see the Savior face to face) we shall know Him, because we shall be like Him.

I love the New Testament because it teaches me about Christ's life and teachings, but I love the Book of Mormon even more because I come to know who He is and I learn how I can be like Him through the incredible examples of Nephite and Lamanite prophets and leaders. These books truly do go hand in hand. Without one of these books (the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price, and the Bible) I would not feel complete and I don't think that I would ever figure out how to be like Him so that one day when I see him face to face, I too will know who He is.

My Girly Girls

Today I took the girls on a walk to enjoy the gorgeous 70 degree weather. Before we left, Katelund decided that she needed her hair done, and she had to have a bow in it. Of course Cloey then wanted her hair done also. Katelund then when to go get clothes on, but not just any clothes. She wanted to wear her skirt with her jacket that matches. Then she wanted to wear one of my braclets. As we are heading out the door, Cloey comes walking out of her room with her purse on her shoulders. Katelund then had to run and get her purse also. It was so adorable!!!

If I ever have a boy, it will be really wierd to not put a bow and ponytail in his hair, make sure he has jewlery to wear when we go out, or get a purse for him to carry his flowers that he picks along the way. Life will be way different, but I can't wait for that day. (No, Andrea, I am not announcing anything)

Red Hot Carpet...

This morning Katelund decided that she was going to help herself to a cheese stick in the fridge (remember how she went to bed starving last night :) LOL). While getting to the pack of cheese sticks, she knocked over a whole glass bowl full of Frank's Red Hot sauce (Cory had used it this weekend to make buffalo wings for "the guys"). The sauce went everywhere!!!!

I was in the bathroom, so I didn't know what had happened. She was crying and I was so worried that she had gotten hurt so I told her to come and tell me what happened. As I saw her walk in, I panicked. I thought there was blood all over her leg. I then had a whif of the hot sauce. As I came out of the bathroom, I realized that she had tracked the hot sauce ALL OVER the carpet because it was all over her feet and legs.

Of course I couldn't be mad at her because I was the one that told her to come to me. She was just obeying. (why of all times did she have to obey me this time?)!!! :)

"Mom"

I guess Katelund decided yesterday that she no longer wants to call me "mommy". She is now calling me "mom". Is it wierd that it breaks me up inside everytime she says, "mom" instead of "mommy"? I hate it. I want her to always call me her "mommy". I feel like I have just had a demotion at my job. I guess I better just appreciate the fact that to Cloey I am still mommy.

Last night Katelund was crying because she wanted to eat at 9:00 p.m. and I wouldn't let her. She wouldn't stop crying so I decided to imitate her. I started to pretend cry back at her. She stopped crying and said in the most desperate way, "Stop crying Mom, I'm crying". It was hilarious!!! We both started laughing so hard.

Rejuvenation

Today was a great day in primary. I actually got to teach the music today. I had so much fun doing it and the best part about it was that the kids were having fun and they were singing so well!!!! They are a small primary, but they sure know how to raise their voices and sing. I am a little bit nervous about working with the Primary President, but I am sure that I just need to have a change of heart.

Katelund and Cloey looked so cute today. I try to match their dresses each Sunday. If they aren't wearing matching dresses, I at least coordinate their colors and bows to match each other. Cloey is growing into her own little person. She tends to be a little on the stubborn side, but she is so blasted cute that it is really hard not to give in to her. As we say our family prayers each day, she immediately comes over, folds, her arms, and stands or sits quietly throughout the entire prayer. I am hoping that Katelund will learn from her example. Cloey has also turned into quite the climber (she must have got some of the same genes as Ethan). The most common place I find her these days is sitting in the sink smiling at herself in the mirror as she puts on my makeup. On the rare moments that Kate and Cloey are not fighting, they play really well together. I live for those moments. :)

Katelund had a major accident in her panties today in nursery. It was horrible. It got all over a teacher's skirt. I was so embarrased. I offered to pay for the skirt to be dry cleaned but she wouldn't even hear of it. She told me that she just became a Grandma and so she just looks at it as a preparatory experience. She then offered to clean Katelund up herself. I couldn't believe it!!! I am so grateful for people like her who teach me through their incredible examples.

I have been so uplifted this weekend by the Relief Society Broadcast. It was incredible!!! I said a prayer beforehand that as I listened, I would receive my own personal teachings by the Spirit, of the things in my life that I need to change and/or improve upon. My prayer was answered in many incredible ways. I am so grateful for the messages that were given, especially Sister Pingree's talk. She is an amazing speaker to me because I can feel the spirit so strongly as she speaks and testifies of the gospel truths. President Hinckley's talk was also wonderful. I was so excited when Sister Parkin announced that the Prophet would be the concluding speaker. I felt such a sense of renewed commitment and rejuvinated spirit within myself. I am so excited to hear again from the Prophet, Apostles, and other church leaders this upcoming weekend at conference. I really want to focus this week on preparing my mind, heart, and spirit to be taught through the promptings of the Holy Ghost as I listen to the Lord's chosen servants.

I am so grateful for little moments each day as a mother, wife, and member of the church, where my spirit and heart are rejuvenated to increase my testimony, desire, commitment, and love for Heavenly Father's plan for me.

Just Another Day in Paradise...

One of my favorite songs is "Just Another Day in Paradise". Cory and I laugh everytime we hear the song because we swear that it is written about our family. Well, today was a perfect example of why this song is about us. It all started last night as we were driving to the church at 9 pm for Cory to play basketball with a group of guys from the ward (Cory was in Knoxville all day for business so he didn't get home until really late, so in order for us to be together, we all went to basketball). As we are walking out the door, we decided that Cloey would just go without shoes because we didn't have time to search for them in their diaster of a room but she decided that she wanted to wear Katelund's high-heeled dress up shoes. Then we notice that Katelund is walking out with one flip flop on because she can't find the other one but that was the shoe that she wanted to wear (apparently one of them is better than none). So we get all loaded in the car, and as we are driving away, Cory and I were laughing hysterically about our Expedition that continues to sit in the parking lot as a storage unit (a very expensive storage unit). But we are grateful for it because we don't have room for everything in our apartment and storage units are very expensive out here ($48.00 for 5x5 unit). We got home late, put the kids to bed, and went to bed ourselves (after I gave Cory a dang good foot rub). We woke up this morning to find that our new cable is having problems. Then after we read scriptures and said prayers with Daddy, he gave kisses all around and headed out the door to drive to work in our hardly reliable car (Cory thinks it's the fuel pump this time). Katelund decided she was thirsty so she opens the fridge and takes out a berry smoothie drink. As she goes to drink it, it spills all over the floor, fridge, and cupboards (and of course I am out of paper towels). Meanwhile, Cloey finds my scrapbooking stuff that I had left out from yesterday's project. She had found my stamp pads and was stamping her nose and our new kitchen table. Then...after bathtime (a whole other story in itself) Katelund was climbing over our couch (that got broken in our move) so she had to sit in time-out. After she got out of time-out she very sweetly pointed out to me that the gum she had taken from daddy's basketball bag was now stuck in the carpet. Although it has been one of those days, it has been great!!! Sometimes when I have days like this, I just feel like my life is falling apart, but not today. Today I am just grateful for our beautifully destructive children, our semi-working car, our expensive storage unit, our broken couch, our beautifully decorated table, Cory's wonderful job, our very own home, and....more importantly.... another day in paradise!!!!

Fighting for Freedom

I feel like I would be very ungrateful to not express my gratitude for the freedoms that I enjoy so freely. I feel so blessed that I was able to live in Fayetteville for the last 1 1/2. Living so close to Fort Bragg, meant that I was basically part of military life without the sacrifices and benefits. Most all of our friends were in the military. Sometimes I would get a little jealous as they told me of their free healthcare, lack of mortgage payements, and all the other discounts that they receive on so many things. And then as I have had to be there and witness so many families say goodbye to their daddies for up to 18 months, I felt no envy at all. It was so hard to see mothers who would go to church week after week and month after month with 3-5 children who were feeling the stress and weight that their mother carried as she took care of them and all the other household responsibilites on her own. My heart ached for them and my troubles and trials seemed so insignifcant and uncomparable.

About six months ago, Cory and I had to say goodbye to one of our closest friends who was going to Iraq once again. As I said goodbye, I had tears running down my cheek uncontrollably. I just sat and held my friend, and his wife, Deborah as she told me of her fears and worries without even saying a word. One of our other close friends that Cory served with in YMs told us that if we only knew all the terroist activities that occur within our own country, it would be hard to ever feel safe again. I am so grateful that I don't have to know. What a great honor and privilege I have to know such incredible families who serve our country day in and day out and who sacrifice their comfort in order for all of the rest of us to be free.

Really the war on freedom started before we ever came to this earth. We have been fighting this war for a long time. Although I don't have to send my husband off to Iraq, I do send him out in the danger zone each day as he sets out on his own fight for spiritual freedom. I am so grateful for a prophet who has given us directions on how to arm ourselves each day with the armor of God, a sure protection that will keep us safe and free from the war stains of the world.

Potty Training....My Archenemy

Yesterday Katelund pooped in the potty 2 times!!! Yeah!!! I was so excited because I thought that she finally got it, but sure enough she peed in her panties and all over the floor once again. I guess it is just going to be that way for awhile. Since she has been doing so good the last couple of days, I feel like I have hardly had to change any diapers. In fact, I am almost forgetting to change Cloey's diapers because I usually just change hers when I change Katelund's (unless it stinks of course). Man I can't even imagine what life will be like without diaper changing. It will definitely be less expensive!!!

Family Picture

Joy in the Journey

Wow, it feels so good to sit down and blog once again. I have missed blogging so much, I know that sounds really dorky, but I love to sit down and write down what my frusgrations, exciting moments, feelings of my heart, or just about the ordinary events of everyday life (like that happens when you have a 17 month old (going on 2) and a 3 yr old (going on 16)).

Life is wonderful for us. We are loving our new home in Asheville, N.C. Asheville is BEAUTIFUL!!!! The weather is perfect, the scenery is breath-taking, Cory is loving the challenge of his new job, and the people here are great. Is there anything else you could ask for? Well, actually there is...I just wish my whole family could live here with me. We have made some great friends in our ward and we have also made some friends who are not members. I have also once again been called to the greatest calling ever...primary music leader. The other day I was talking to one of my friends in the primary presidency. She told me that they had known it was time for a new music leader but they didn't know who to call. They had been praying about who it should be and then...guess who moved in the ward...that would be me. I have had a couple of weeks to prepare as to allow the current leader to continue up until the program (in 2 weeks). I have really been debating about what songs to teach after the program. I have never had this calling without having to frantically teach the program songs. It is wierd to not have any specified songs that I need to teach, but I am looking forward to it.

This Sunday, Cory and I have been asked to speak in sacrament meeting. I am speaking about enduring to the end. I am really having a hard time preparing my talk because it is such a broad topic. I have done so much studying and now I just need to condense it all down to what the Lord wants me to say. Gene R. Cook has a great talk-tape called "Teaching By the Spirit", he says that when preparing to preach (you are not teaching, that is what the spirit does) you should study it all out in your mind and then go up to speak relying on the spirit to guide you as to what you should talk about on the subject matter you have studied. I am not so sure that I am to that point. I would love to be able to get up there and do that but I feel so inadequate even thinking about attempting it.

Anyways, it has been such a wonderful subject to study about. I love the scriptures SO MUCH!!!! I love the gospel SO MUCH!!!! I am so grateful for all of the knowledge that we have about the plan of happiness. I feel that it would be hard for me to patiently and happily endure the trials and disappointments of this life without knowing about the pre-existence and the eternities to come. One of my favorite quotes is..." In this life we are put in the refiner's fire to see if we will be burned to ashes or refined into gold." I am not sure who said it but I do know that Job talks about his many trials refining him into gold. I read the book of Job this week. I cannot read that book without thinking about Dad. When I found out that Dad had diabettes, I was so uspet and I just wanted to be with him. When I was talking to Mom on the phone one time, she was telling me how Dad was in so much pain and just having a really hard time. The story of Job immediately came to my mind and I realized that this is probably going to be one of Dad's biggest trials that he will have to endure. I knew just as I know now that he would endure it well just as Job did. Job never once lost faith or hope. My favorite verse in Job, a mastery scripture, is chapter 19 vs. 25-27; "For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God." I also love 27:5 "...till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me." What a great example of somebody who endured to the end. Sometimes when I think of the word endure I think of just grudgingly waiting it out, but in the footnotes of the scriptures it always has perseverance and steadfastness accompanying the word endure. I think that enduring to the end is having faith, hope, conviction, and joy in the journey.