Saturday, October 23, 2010


I think that the sickness is finally leaving. It all started on Wednesday night when I got all congested and my head starting hurting like crazy. Thursday, I felt bad all day, and then that night the fevers and cold chills began. Since I am still nursing and I refuse to pump (It's just not my thing), I have to continue feeding through sickness and all. When I was nursing Katelund, I remember being so sick one time that I couldn't keep anything down, even water. So of course, my milk was not letting down. I remember fervently praying that the Lord would intervene, just as he did for the Ishmaelite women in the Book of Mormon. He did, and I will forever consider it a miracle.

This time I was not as sick, but I knew that I could call upon the Lord once again. So there I was underneath of about four blankets shivering like crazy in the fetal position, as I snuggled Hailey up and patiently waited for another tender mercy, which came once again. Hailey is teething right now, and it is way worse than it was with the first two bottom teeth. So, she is up crying every two hours. Since Cory knew how horrible I was feeling, he stepped right in and helped comfort Hailey or bring her to my side. It helped so much and I was so grateful. He took a sick day yesterday in order to tend to his sick wife and take care of the girls. By about noon, I was feeling considerably better, but Cory was not. We both thought he was starting to get sick, but then I looked into his eyes and I knew exactly what was wrong. You see, Cory needs his sleep. If he gets less than 5 hours of sleep, his eyes get really red and watery in the afternoon and he just can't function. After he took a long nap in the basement, he was just fine. One sleepless night for him, was one too many.

It got me thinking. For the last 8 1/2 months, I have not slept a whole night. In fact, I think 5 hours is the longest that Hailey has gone. No, maybe she went 6 hours ONE night. I also have two other daughters who for some reason cannot seem to simultaneously sleep through the night. At least one of them will be up at some point needing a hug after a bad dream, a drink of water, a back rub, a leg rub, medicine, a heating pad, another blanket, a clean-up after peeing in the bed, etc, etc.... Somehow, I function during the day. I hardly ever take a nap because there are just so many other things that I should be doing. So, I just make do with the sleep that I get, and somehow, it is enough.

Someday, as we look back on our earthly experience, I believe that we will be very surprised how often the Lord mercifully intervened in our life and how frequently His hand was lifting and sustaining us. I truly believe that one of those times will be during the first year of my babies lives. During all of those long nights and days where, somehow, the sleep that I got was enough. Some may say that it is just because I am used to it and my body has adjusted, but I disagree. I believe that it is a blessing from heaven given to mothers. I am not going to say that I am never tired or that I don't look forward with great anticipation to the day when I will have a full night sleep, but for now, I am just grateful. I am grateful for a loving Savior whose infinite atonement has made it possible for not only the little sleep that I get to be enough, but has also promised that if I give all that I can give, which is really very little, that when that long awaited day comes that I return to my heavenly home, where I can experience a fullness of joy, somehow, the life that I lived and the effort that I gave, will be enough.


Melissa said...

That is EXACTLY how I feel! Even now, looking back at the years when I thin about how little Morgan & Jackson were, I think- how did I do it? One day when I was so exhausted, I remember laying in my bed (Hallie was a baby & in her crib crying) and I just prayed that the angels would watch over her & calm her down so I could rest- it was a miracle, and since then, I know that I have angels who daily help me have enough energy with my lack of sleep. :)

Lisa said...

I am so glad to know Im not the only one. If my baby is sick I can stay up for days to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesnt get worse. I can stay up all night when one has a bad dream and doesnt want to go back to bed. And somehow I am still able to function throughout the day, maybe not everything is perfect but its done. My husband cant function on anything less than 7 hrs. Or he is so cranky and crabby and its just not worth it. Moms are miracle workers :)

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