It is a good thing that I didn't write a Mother's Day post yesterday at about 2 pm. If I had, it probably would've gone something like this...
Dear Whoever Invented Mother's Day,
Why did you even bother?!?!
The Worst Mother of the Day
Fortunately, it ended WAY better than it began. Let me explain...
I think my children were out to get me yesterday. Let me paint you the ugly picture... it is one minute before church is starting, and Katelund is at the end of the pew pouting because she wants one of the lemon heads that she saw in my purse as she was digging through it looking for crayons and I had told her no. Cloey is hyper and all over the chapel saying hi to all of her friends and totally ignoring me when I tell her to quietly sit down on the bench. Hailey is beyond tired since it is right in the middle of nap time and so she is throwing an ear-piercing-screaming fit because I am trying to take the little bag of cereal away from her because church hasn't even started and the cereal is supposed to keep her distracted during the meeting. In the process of me trying to take the bag away, Cloey finally comes over and starts fighting with Katelund because she wants to sit down next to her but her feet are in the way. As I turn to give them the "you better stop fighting right now" look, Hailey pulls the bag away from my grip and the cereal flies all over the aisle. I am trying to calm her down, bend over my huge baby belly to pick cereal up, and control the situation between my daughters who seemed to have it out for each other since the moment they woke up.
Where is Cory you ask? Oh ya, all the men in our ward went to a short 7 o'clock meeting (so they could take the sacrament) and were then divided up into their work crews and sent out to continue the tornado clean-up. Don't get me wrong, I am all about Cory out there working and helping. He has been doing it non-stop for the last 2 weeks and I have been amazed as I have watched him so willingly come home from work and go right back out to work until sunset. He is incredible and I love him for his big heart. But, I'm not going to lie. It wasn't easy to kiss him goodbye knowing that I would be spending most of Mother's Day alone.
The beginning picture I painted you, only got worse as the meeting went on. In fact, at one point, Katelund leaned over to me and said, "I didn't know you were such a mean mom on Mother's Day." I couldn't even say anything back. All I wanted to do was to break down and cry. After about 20 minutes, I took all my girls out into the foyer and did just that...cried. I finally got control, listened to what I could of the rest of the meeting, and then gladly sent my girls off to primary. By the time I was in Relief Society, I was just trying to hold myself together. The RS president asked everyone to scoot in and sit closer to one another. Since I was already near the front and all of my stuff was already being scattered by Hailey, I just stayed where I was. So everyone got up and sat down next to each other....oh wait, except for on my row. No one sat by me. On any other day, I would've cared less. I would've been looking for who needed someone to sit by them. But not yesterday. Yesterday, I needed someone to sit by me. Someone to tell me that it would all be okay. But no one came. About half way through the lesson, Hailey started doing her little excited screams and I think it was bothering the lady in front of me. So I left. I grabbed all of my stuff and made it out the door just in time for me to completely lose it. I was sobbing. All I wanted to do was get my girls and go home. Then my angel came. My sweet friend and visitng teacher was walking down the hallway. She got my girls for me and met me at my car. My other angel, the primary president, came out to my car as well. We buckled everyone in, shut the door, and I just poured my heart out to them. They listened, they laughed, they empathized, and they said all the things that I needed to hear, and even offered to take Katelund and Cloey for a couple of hours so that me and Hailey could take a nap.
Later that afternoon, I got my nap, I got my husband back, I got an amazing pedicure, dinner, and a gift card to Charming Charlies's. My children were sweet again and everything was perfect. I learned something about myself from this Mother's Day (which is why this post has turned into a novel). I learned that I would NEVER want to do this mothering thing alone. First and foremost, I would never want to do it without Cory. He knows exactly what to say and do (after 11 years, he has learned a lot) :) . He seriously completes me in every way (cheesy, but oh so true). Secondly, I could never do it without the support and love of other mothers. I need to know that I am not the only mother who has wanted to lock my children in a room and let them fight it out. I need to know that I am not the only pregnant mother who is wondering what on earth I was thinking and how am I ever going to manage four of them. And I also need to know that at the end of the day, I can still call my own Mommy and know that she will make everything better.
This whole mothering thing is definitely not easy. The title of mother comes with a lot of pain, frustration, sacrifice, disappointment, heartache, and even sorrow. But, there is just nothing in the world that compares to the sweet rewards and compensation that comes in those precious moments when you look into your children's sweet faces and somehow you can see the big picture. It is in those moments that you know it is all worth it. Yesterday those moments didn't come until the end of the day, but oh how they came. They came in moments when I wasn't expecting it. One of those moments came as Cloey was saying our family prayer as she kneeled at her bed. In the middle of the prayer, she began to talk with an English accent like Cory had been doing earlier when he was reading them Harry Potter. I couldln't help but let out a little laugh and an even bigger smile. The other moment came as Katelund told me that the crystal that she got on her field trip reminded her of me because I am always teaching her to be clean and pure like the temple. And the final moment came as I laid Hailey in her bed, kissed her sweet little cheek, and stood there for a couple of seconds as she stared up at me with her angelic little eyes as if she was promising me that it really is all worth it. It is in theses moments when the Spirit permeates my heart and leaves me with an overwhelming amount of love for these little monsters that make huge messes, and yet, always find a way to fill my heart to overflowing.
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