Wednesday, October 03, 2012

Hero Series: Post #3

It's funny how four years can pass, two more children are born, and life continually moves forward, and yet....there are still moments when it seems like it was just yesterday that I was saying goodbye to Clairisa. That moment hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. On Saturday, we celebrated Cory's 34th birthday. Since I didn't want to leave his side all day, I chose to not go to the Relief Society broadcast. He was totally supportive of me going, but I knew that I could listen to it online later and I knew that if the roles were reversed I definitely would not want to be left alone on my birthday. So on Monday morning, as I ran, I listened to almost all of the broadcast. It was perfect. I was running in the most beautiful weather on the most perfect day with monarch butterflies and leaves flying all around me on a trail that I LOVE to run on while listening to some of the most beautiful talks ever! `As I finished up my run, I paused the broadcast right before President Eyring's talk. I took the day off of running on Tuesday since I had done 10 miles on Monday, so I was very anxiously awaiting this morning's run so that I could finish listening. I had talked to my mother-in-law the previous day and she had kindof told me that his talk had mentioned a story that would remind me of Clairisa, but there are many talks that I listen to that will remind me of her so I didn't think that much of it. As the story began to be told and the similarities continued to unfold, my emotions started to overcome me. Before too long, I had stopped running and was on the side of the road sobbing. There was a high school boy waiting for the bus on the side of the road, whom I'm sure was wondering what the heck was going on with this crazy sobbing woman. But, I couldn't help emotions were so fresh and raw and completely unexpected. I was crying because the pain washed over me once more and then because I felt hurt. Hurt that no one had warned me of the emotions that were sure to come as I listened (other than my mother in-law). After I somewhat gained control, I ran home to Cory and continued to cry in his arms. I am so glad that I didn't go to the broadcast on Saturday night because nobody around me would've known or understood why I was the crazy sobbing woman in the pew. I am so grateful for a husband who completely understands me, loves me, and supports me. Wrapped in his arms he said all the right things. All the things I need to hear and more. Years ago, when I was asking Cloey what Cory should be for Halloween, she said, "superman because he always saves the day". She was exactly right. He is not just my best friend, nor is he just my hero, he is and always will be my superhero.


All Fun Family said...

That's such a sweet picture.

hmm...I'll have to listen to President Eyring's talk again. I was nursing in the mother's lounge and during about half of his talk, these sisters were in the bathroom talking too loudly, flushing the toilets, using the hand dryer, turning the water on and off...

That must be so hard to have all of that pain and hurt brought up again, especially when you aren't expecting it.

Nicole said...

I so thought of you during this talk. How much you are loved and thought of.

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