Thursday, September 20, 2012

Struggling

It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord works in my life. I know that I have written about it a lot over the years of blogging (wow, it's been like 7 years now), but it has just really been on my mind so much today. Everywhere I have lived, I have had to struggle, learn, and grow in different ways. In fact, whenever I feel like things are going really great, I have really good friends, and life just seems to be perfect.....we move. It is as if the Lord is saying okay you've learned what you need to here, now it's time to get you a little uncomfortable again and teach you new things. So here I am in Texas struggling, learning, and growing once again. Don't get me wrong...life is good and I feel SO very grateful to live the life I do, but there are some things that I have really been struggling with. It is hard for Cory to really understand because...well, because he is a boy, and sometimes boys just don't get it. But, just in the last two days I have felt like the Lord has spoken to me through conference talks I've been listening to and through some good friends (including my best friends aka my sisters). Texas is so different than Tennessee, North Carolina, or Idaho. Each place has such a special place in my heart, not just because of the beauty and uniqueness of the states but mostly because of the people who have influenced my life in each one. I am so grateful to have such an incredible support system. I have so many friends that I feel like I could call up at any given moment and feel like I was just with them yesterday, even if it has been months or years since we were together. Friends whose influence are still so powerful even through a text or blog post. But then there are times, especially lately, when I feel completely alone. Alone in my struggles, alone in a park full of women from my ward who I am trying to be friends with, alone on days when the laundry, homework, diapers, dishes, and demands of life seem to pile up into a never ending to-do list. But, it is in those alone moments when my heart is humbled as my knees fall to the ground and my thoughts lift heavenward. It is in these moments that I am reminded of what's important and what's not. I am so thankful for moments such as these. Moments when the only one who can completely console, heal, humble, and strengthen me is the Lord.

4 comments:

Melissa said...

I am so sorry you are feeling alone! I wish I lived close by and I could come and we could visit while our little ones play. :) I would LOVE to talk to you some time and catch up on life. I don't want to put my number on here, but maybe you could email me and we could set up a time. Aren't you so excited for conference!!! I think the Lord has humbled me so much these last 2 years that I feel more ready for conference that at any other time in my life. I am looking so forward to being strengthened!
My sister just moved to Novia Scotia! Talk about being alone, and I miss her like crazy.
Just think, as you struggle with being a Mom that there are other Mom's doing the same thing as you (Me) :) trying to make it each day, and together we find in strength in knowing this is all for a good cause.
love ya and honestly I would LOVE to talk!

Melissa said...

Thanks Melissa! So that post pretty much sounded pathetic I know. :) I really am doing better and I'm just choosing to change my attitude about certain things. It's just adjusting to life in a different place with different people who I haven't learned to really love yet (except a couple few). It will come with time, I know. But, I'd LOVE to talk to you too!! I'll email you.

Anonymous said...

Love this post! Thank you I needed to hear this this week!

thegilbreathfam said...

Melissa!
I'm sorry you are feeling so alone. I know sometimes the day in and out of being a busy mommy can feel overwhelming and repetitive. I am so glad you live so close to me and I feel blessed to have you in my life!!! I hope you know that I am so thankful for everything you do and have done for me and my family. I also hope you know that I will watch your sweet little girls anytime you need a break or anytime at all. Or you can always stop by or we can run together! I know you run best in the AM's!!! so hard for me, but I miss running with you. thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts!

Blog Archive