When Cory and I first got married, I used to dream about what it would be like to have a baby...to hold a precious little one in my arms, to rock her to sleep every night, to laugh with her, sing to her, and be the best mother in the whole world.
Fast forward three years to when I finally had my very own baby. It was quite a reality check. It was not anything like I had dreamed it would be. It was HARD, I was TIRED, and why won't she STOP crying???? Don't get me wrong, I loved to have a baby and I loved being a mother, but it was also one of the hardest adjustments I've ever had to make. Everything changed....my body, my hormones, my restful nights, my flexible schedule that revolved around ME, and all of the sudden I was swept up into this whole new way of life and I felt like a complete failure at it because Katelund would cry ALL of the time. Eventually I figured it out. Things got easier, but I still had so much to learn.
Now that I have a whole lot more experience, patience (well...on some days at least), and common sense (all though Cory might question that at times), taking care of my third baby should be like riding a bike and for the most part it has been. But, no matter how much experience and patience I have, taking care of a baby is just not easy. It is still a lot of work. Now I have to not only change a zillion diapers a day, wash clothes non-stop from blow-outs, give baths, nurse every minute (at least it feels like it), sing to her, rock her, and comfort her, but I also have to take care of two other little girls who need just as much, if not more, attention. Their needs and demands are a lot different, but they are still there nonetheless. Life with three little girls is crazy a lot of the time. There are moments where I feel like I am going absolutely insane and then there are other moments when it just feels so natural.
Yesterday was one of those insane days. I had to teach a lesson, go nurse Hailey, have a one-on-one with a Young Woman, chase down the Bishop, go to Sunday School for a couple of minutes, spend sacrament meeting telling my girls to "sit down", "hold still", "put your shoes on", "stop hitting your sister", "leave Hailey alone", "listen". "be quiet", "stop taking my earring out", "grap the burp rag, I have spit up all down my shirt", etc., etc. Then I had to run to one meeting and then run to another but only for a couple of minutes because I had to run out to calm my screaming hungry baby. AHHHH!! It was crazy. But, then as I came home and sat down to rock Hailey, I saw this......
....and all the sudden the world made sense again. I remembered why I am a mother and why I love it so much. It is all worth it...every dirty diaper, every shirt that I change and wash from spit up or blow-out, and every sleepless night. There is just nothing in the world that is more precious and more rewarding than looking down at such a perfectly pure and innocent face of a baby. I know that I am DEFINITELY not the best mother in the whole world, but as I look into Hailey's eyes, for just one little moment, I can see who I have the potential to become and it makes it easier to get up the next day and do it all over again.
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