Growing Up

The other week while I was in the store, Hailey and Makayla were "helping" me grocery shop while I sent Katelund and Cloey to the next aisle to pick up a few more items on my grocery list. There was a middle aged man who was observing all this as he picked out his produce. He let out a little chuckle and said, "Man, I bet you can't wait for them to all grow up." I looked at him and responded back in a way that I'm sure he wasn't expecting. I said, "Are you kidding me? No way! I love them little!" Over the years I have heard so many different kinds of comments from people, especially as the number of children I have keeps increasing. I had one lady at the thrift store awhile back who past me in the aisle as I was trying to talk reason into my two and three year old who were done shopping and ready for naps. She said, "Oh, I feel SO sorry for you." I said, "Well, don't. This is just a hard moment. I love having children." I used to just smile and walk away thinking "how dare they say that!" or "who do they think they are!" But, the older I get the bolder I am getting. I want people to know that yes, I may appear completely crazy with my pregnant belly and four children in tow behind me, but I did it on purpose. I want children. I love having children. And, the hard frustrating moments that sometimes take me to insanity, are totally worth the moments of complete and utter joy that come from raising children. They are the hope and ray of sunshine in an ever darkening and despairing world. They are the reason I am trying each day to be better and become my best self. They are the ones who teach me how to love, share, and forgive. They are the ones that teach me to find joy in the simple and gratitude in the unnoticeable. In their eyes I see who I can become. In their eyes, I can see into heaven. No, of course I don't want them to grow up. I don't want them to lose their innocence or child-like faith. But, I know that at some point they will. It is already starting to happen. Just last week I had to teach my eight and ten year old about sex because of a conversation that a friend had with them. It broke my heart. But then again, I am so glad they knew to come to me. Life passes so quickly and I know that some day I am going to miss having little ones running around me and leaving their messes and handprints on everything. So in the meantime, go ahead, tell me what you think about my children as I pass you in the stores. But be prepared, because I'm going to share with you how I feel as well.