How do you explain to your children why prayers are not answered in the way that you'd hoped or why someone they love has to suffer?
Last week we found out that someone, whom my children absolutely adore, had a miscarriage. On the day that I found out last week, my heart just ached for this couple. I knew that I needed to tell my girls, but I wasn't sure how. Before we said our family prayers that night, I explained to them that this person had lost their baby. Both of them immediately had tears welling up in their eyes and within seconds Katelund had completely lost it. She was so upset. I had no idea that she would take it so hard and then as I held her in my arms, contemplating what on earth I could say to comfort her broken little heart, I realized that losing a baby was something that she could truly empathize with and that the pain and heartache was very real and personal to her because of our own experience with losing a baby. Even days later, she was still asking questions and trying to deal with what exactly happened and why. Without any encouragement, she and Cloey continue to pray for this sweet couple in their prayers almost everyday.
Last week I also found out that my aunt and uncle, who have tried unsuccessfully for many years to have a baby, had finally found a baby girl to adopt. As an extended family, we were all so excited for them! They flew out to Virginia this last weekend to be there for the birth, but the father, who had signed the adoption papers decided not to go forward with it. As I read the updated news this morning on Facebook, my heart once again broke for this couple. They even got to hold the baby, take pictures of her, and I'm sure that in their hearts they immediately felt that bond of love that is inseparable. After so many prayers on their behalf, they are coming home empty-handed. As a family we have prayed for this adoption to work out and have anxiously awaited for the good news, but now I have to explain to my children, and to myself, why a prayer wasn't answered in the way that we had hoped.
Although at the time it just hurt, as I have looked back on our own experience of loss, I have found so much hope and faith in understanding and recognizing that there is a plan for all of us and that each trial and experience, for good or bad, is used to mold us and refine us into the person that we have the potential of becoming. Understanding the omnipotence of our Heavenly Father, knowing that he sees the end from the beginning, brings me so much peace and confidence that when I have to look into the tear-filled eyes of my tender-hearted daughters, I can confidently tell them that everything will be okay and that we must have faith in our Heavenly Father's plan. The Lord is in control. All things are known to him and to Him these trials that we face are but a small moment, and in the whole eternal scheme of things, they have their own particular purpose for helping us to become more faithful, humble, and dependant upon the One who knows what is truly best for us. It really is all about becoming. Although each trial and experience are tailor fit to each child, I know that the master seamster knows how to put our heart back together again....which truly is one of the greatest miracles of all.
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