Star Struck

Around Christmas, there was a girl in our ward who was home for the holidays from BYU. She got up and bore her testimony and as she did Katelund started going crazy. She thought that the girl who was speaking was Miley Cyrus herself. She couldn't believe it! It was so funny and so cute at how star struck she was. I tried to tell her that it wasn't her (although I could see the similarities in her looks and her voice) but she was not giving up hope that she was listening to Miley Cyrus bearing her testimony. After sacrament meeting, I took Katelund over to the girl so that she could meet her but Katelund was SO SHY (which is SO not like her) and she wouldn't even unwrap her arms from around my legs. But, we actually had to wait in line because of another little girl who was standing with her daddy waiting in line for her chance to meet the one and only Mormon Hannah Montana! :)

Another Conversation with Cloey

Last night, Cloey and I were eating dinner together (Katelund was finishing up a chore she had not done earlier and Cory is out of town). After a couple of bites of our delicious macaroni and cheese (definitely my kind of dinner when it's just me and the girls), the following conversation took place...

Cloey: "Mommy, I need to talk to you."

Me: "Okay, what is it honey?"

Cloey: "Today a boy at preschool told me that he wanted to marry me." (as she ducks her head in embarrassment)

Me: (trying desperately hard not to laugh) "Do you want to marry him?"

Cloey: "No!"

Me: "Then tell him you don't want to marry him."

Cloey: pauses and thinks about it for a moment and then sincerely says the following, "Mommy, why didn't you wait longer so that I could marry Daddy?"

Three Weeks

That's it....three weeks. It seems like no time, and yet it seems like eternity!!!! My belly button has completely come out and my skin is stretched to its max. My heartburn is at an all-time uncontrollable high and my back and feet are giving out on me. The nesting is in high gear and Cory's to-do list is starting to shrink. The contractions are irregular and not very intense, but they are here nonetheless. My nights are pretty much sleepless and my bladder is basically acting like a running faucet. I AM SO READY!!!! And yet I am so nervous. I am nervous about having a C-section, I am nervous that something is going to go wrong, and I am nervous about going into that operating room again. I am just nervous, anxious, uncontrollably excited, and impatient all at the same time.

Basketball and Pride

Last night the girls and I went to a local middle school to watch Cory play basketball. He has been playing on a city league and it has been a lot of fun to go to his games and watch him play. About 5 minutes before the end of the game, a guy on the other team fouled one of the guys on our team. I am not sure what all took place but I could tell that both of them were really upset. They got into each other's faces and started yelling. At this point, the referee and Cory were positioning themselves between them in order to break up what seemed to be an inevitable fist fight. Each of the players were escorted off of the court in order to calm themselves down on the sideline. Within a couple of minutes, everything was back to normal. They were both back in the game again and the playing continued until the buzzer sounded. At the end of the game, the teams joined in the middle of the court to shake hands and congratulate one another on a good game. As I was gathering up all of our coats, stuffed animals, purses, phones, shoes, bags, drinks, wrappers, etc, my attention was drawn to the middle of the court where the two men (who had acted like boys and came really close to throwing each other down) went up to one another with smiles on their faces, shook hands, patted backs, and walked off the court together as if they had just become the best of friends. I was totally mesmerized by this scene. For ten years, I have watched Cory play basketball, softball, football, and any other sport that includes a ball, and I still stand in shock and amazement each time that I have witnessed a similar scenario to the one described above. How do they do it? If it had been a bunch of women playing basketball, I can almost guarantee that is not how it would've ended. They would've been staring each other down and talking about how horrible the other girl was for days, maybe even longer. Right? Maybe I am wrong, but it seems to me that to girls it is all personal....on the basketball court or not. Why is that?

This morning I was listening to a talk about pride. And of course, in doing so, I realized how prideful I can be. I loved one of the lines in the talk. She said, "pride is not about thinking less of yourself, it is thinking less about yourself. Pride is such a horrible and destructive sin and it is also really hard to recognize in yourself. As I have been thinking about pride and all of its unwelcome appearances in my own life, I was thinking about ways to overcome it. What do you do? Obviously serving others is a big one, but I think that there are many other ways as well. Any thoughts or ideas?

On Omnipotence

How do you explain to your children why prayers are not answered in the way that you'd hoped or why someone they love has to suffer?

Last week we found out that someone, whom my children absolutely adore, had a miscarriage. On the day that I found out last week, my heart just ached for this couple. I knew that I needed to tell my girls, but I wasn't sure how. Before we said our family prayers that night, I explained to them that this person had lost their baby. Both of them immediately had tears welling up in their eyes and within seconds Katelund had completely lost it. She was so upset. I had no idea that she would take it so hard and then as I held her in my arms, contemplating what on earth I could say to comfort her broken little heart, I realized that losing a baby was something that she could truly empathize with and that the pain and heartache was very real and personal to her because of our own experience with losing a baby. Even days later, she was still asking questions and trying to deal with what exactly happened and why. Without any encouragement, she and Cloey continue to pray for this sweet couple in their prayers almost everyday.

Last week I also found out that my aunt and uncle, who have tried unsuccessfully for many years to have a baby, had finally found a baby girl to adopt. As an extended family, we were all so excited for them! They flew out to Virginia this last weekend to be there for the birth, but the father, who had signed the adoption papers decided not to go forward with it. As I read the updated news this morning on Facebook, my heart once again broke for this couple. They even got to hold the baby, take pictures of her, and I'm sure that in their hearts they immediately felt that bond of love that is inseparable. After so many prayers on their behalf, they are coming home empty-handed. As a family we have prayed for this adoption to work out and have anxiously awaited for the good news, but now I have to explain to my children, and to myself, why a prayer wasn't answered in the way that we had hoped.

Although at the time it just hurt, as I have looked back on our own experience of loss, I have found so much hope and faith in understanding and recognizing that there is a plan for all of us and that each trial and experience, for good or bad, is used to mold us and refine us into the person that we have the potential of becoming. Understanding the omnipotence of our Heavenly Father, knowing that he sees the end from the beginning, brings me so much peace and confidence that when I have to look into the tear-filled eyes of my tender-hearted daughters, I can confidently tell them that everything will be okay and that we must have faith in our Heavenly Father's plan. The Lord is in control. All things are known to him and to Him these trials that we face are but a small moment, and in the whole eternal scheme of things, they have their own particular purpose for helping us to become more faithful, humble, and dependant upon the One who knows what is truly best for us. It really is all about becoming. Although each trial and experience are tailor fit to each child, I know that the master seamster knows how to put our heart back together again....which truly is one of the greatest miracles of all.

Fun at the Park

Yesterday I decided to brave the freezing arctic weather and take the girls to the park. Funny....we were the only ones who had that idea so we had the whole park to ourselves. It was SOOOO cold but that didn't stop the girls from having fun. We had a picnic and played for about 45 minutes and then on the way home I stopped at the Dollar store and let them pick out a treat. On the drive home Cloey said, "mom this was the funnest day ever!" It's amazing how easy it is to please a 4 and 6 year old. It is moments like these that I wish I could keep them little forever!

Did you know....

...that if you wear your pajamas inside out when you go to bed and put a spoon under your pillow that it will snow the next day? [ That is what Katelund told me on Wednesday when she came home from school. Apparently....it works because it started snowing on our way home from the dentist yesterday around noon and it continued on all through the evening. I have never heard of this before, but I think it must be some kind of southern thing because everyone around here seems to know about it. ]

...that if you spend your day cleaning and organizing your children's room until it is perfect and spotless, that they will destroy it in less than 5 minutes?

...that if your husband is out of town that it is perfectly okay to have chocolate chip cookies and milk for dinner?

....that when I look down at my feet, all that I can see are my my toes?

...that I spent about 45 minutes today playing Mariocart so that I can keep up with my family and stop losing at every race?

...that I am so in love with the new Allstate Insurance commercial (isn't it Allstate that has President Palmer from 24 doing the talking?)

...that I love the smell of garages?

...that Cloey has changed her outfit about 10 times today?

...that I am so ready to start throwing stuff away because I am seriously nesting and feeling the need to declutterize (that's a word, right) everything!

...that I have spent about an hour writing this post because my attention keeps getting diverted?

I bet you feel so much more enlightened now.

2010

I love the beginning of a new year. I love the whole idea of recommitting, refocusing, and reprioritizing (I totally just made up that word...my spell check is telling me it doesn't work, but I think it does). I love change and I always have. I go crazy when my life is so predictable and monotonous that I feel like I am living in the movie Groundhog Day. Which is why I have actually really enjoyed living in so many different places in our 9 1/2 years of marriage. Although I find joy in change and newness, I struggle when it comes to making changes within myself. I am so grateful to know that through the enabling and redemptive power of the atonement, I can change. But, it is still not always easy, in fact, it can be a lot of work because I think that the key to making permanent changes in behavior and attitude is consistency (and of course lots of repentance and prayer). It's not that I am doing anything really bad but there are so many things about my character that are flawed and there is a lot of room for improvement. So for the sake of a new year and in the spirit of making resolutions...here are some things that I will be consistently working on in 2010.

1. I don't want to miss one single day of scripture reading.


2. I want to really put forth more effort into being a better homemaker (this includes; learning how to make homemade wheat bread {thanks mom for the wheat grinder], spend more quality time teaching and playing with my children, beautify our home, be more frugal, focus on being more healthy, and of course....BE MORE ORGANIZED (that is on my list every year...but I really do think I am getting better).

3. I want to continue my efforts in learning the gospel even better. I am so excited to study the Old Testament this year in Sunday School. I have really been immersing myself into studying lately. I think that the more I learn the more I want to learn more! Does that make any sense? I just finished reading Orson Scott Card's book, "Stone Tables" (SO GOOD). It is a religious fictional book about Moses. I also read "Sarah" not too long ago (about Abraham and Sarah). I love to learn through historical fiction!!! I strongly recommend both of those books. I am now currently reading "Joseph Smith A Rough Stone Rolling" (also, very good!) and "Women of the Old Testament". I feel like there are so many things that I don't know and the more that I learn the more that I realize this. Whenever I listen to a General Authority speak, I am in awe of their vast knowledge of the scriptures and of historical events. It is such a admirable quality, one that I would like to develop, even if it is just a fraction of their knowledge.

4. I would like to be more humble and less selfish. I am so guilty of being prideful. I know that it is a stumbling block for me in many ways. This one is going to take a lot of work and a lot of heavenly help, but I also know that it is something I really need to work on.

So there you have it...my goals for 2010. This year is a big year for me. It is the year that I will be turning 30, the year that I will celebrate 10 years of marriage, and the year that I will be a mother of four beautiful little girls. I don't know what is in store for me or my family this year or what challenges and trials we will face, but I do know that I am going in strong and determined to make this year one of change and improvement; one filled with love, faith, and hope for the future. When I took Cloey to the doctor recently, he told me that his son had decided to not have any children because "why would somebody want to bring an innocent child into this corrupt world?". I told the doctor that I would, because I know that there is a lot of evil and corruption in our world and government, but I also know that the Lord is in charge. I know in whom I trust, and because of that, I don't think there is any need to fear the future. Yes, there is a lot of evil in the world, but there is also a lot of good!!

Today in YWs I introduced the 2010 mutual theme which is found in Joshua 1:9...."Be strong and of a good courage: be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest." I can't think of a more perfect theme for not only the youth, but also for me.

So here's to being courageous, making changes, and looking for the good in 2010!

A Conversation with Cloey

Cloey: "Daddy, Katelund really hurt my feelings."

Cory: "What happened?"

Cloey: "Katelund called me a cheater cheater pants on fire."

Cory: "Well you go tell her cheater cheater pumpkin eater."

Cloey: "No, Daddy. I don't want to hurt Katelund's feelings."