Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Rewind Please!
It is 9:30 pm and I am totally having a pity party all by myself. It has just been one of those days where things were just so crazy. I just felt like I was running with my head cut off from one thing to the next. Wake up at 5 am because Cloey peed in her bed (something she rarely ever does) and then wake up again at 6:30 because I feel something wet in my bed (apparently she didn't get it all out in her bed). Take all the sheets off the beds, scrub our mattress, and start the laundry. Drag Katelund out of bed, get her to school on time (she goes really slow in the mornings), come home write up my agenda for presidency meeting, take Cloey to school, stay and watch for a little bit since I will be taking over on Thursday (Cloey is doing a Joy school this year. There are 7 kids and each of the moms are teaching for 5 weeks at a time...Cloey LOVES it!!!), run to presidency meeting (okay not run, but I did drive way too fast), run (again, I mean drive quickly) to pick up Cloey, go home and make lunch. Clean up the house, tell Cloey to go play by herself so I can work on some YW stuff, pick up Katelund at bus stop, go to store to pick up ingredients for dinner, get totally annoyed at my children because they want me to buy everything they see at the store and they kept getting in and out of the cart, make dinner as fast as I can to take to the missionaries by 5:00 (made broccoli soup and it turned out not so good) . On the way to the missionaries, stop at the end of the street because there in the middle of the road is Cloey's missing shoe (don't even ask). Drive home quickly because Katelund is dying of starvation, do dishes while Katelund works on homework (which takes at least an hour every night) and then get frustrated with her because she is not focusing, put sheets on all the beds, go through bedtime routine, sing a million songs to try and get Katelund to go to sleep, and then call Cory (he is out of town for business). Then after I thought things were settled down so I could finish a book I'm reading for book club next week, Katelund peeks into my room. What followed just topped off my bad mom moments for the day. I got upset at her for still being up at 9 pm and told her to get in her bed and go to sleep. She then begins crying and telling me how I'm always getting upset with her and she feels like she is always in trouble when she's home. I apoligized, held her in my bed until she fell asleep, and then just cried. I hate it when at the end of the day I realize what a horrible mother I have been. I hate it when I get so caught up in the things that I need to do that I forgot the tender feelings of my little girls and I forget that my main responsiblity is to nurture and love them. If only I could push rewind.
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7 comments:
I hear ya! Karson said something similar to me the other day. Makes ya feel are warm and fuzzy inside, huh???!!!! RIGHT! The balance of life is really hard to get right but I think you're fantastic. Hang in there. Wish I could come help you tomorrow...maybe next week if you need it?
We've all been there! Wish you could have been here for our Girls Night Out last night. We had planned to go roller skating (funny, huh?) but got to the skating rink and they were replacing the floor. So, we went to Chili's and stuffed our faces instead! :)
Hope today's a better day for you!
Ah, a rewind would be nice some days -- you're right. I think the best part about this is that Katelund told you how she felt. It's awesome that she could express that to you and know that you would listen and comfort her. You're an awesome mom, and we're all imperfect. Crazy days come and go. Today will be better! Love ya!
Don't you love that you can start each day fresh though? I always feel that I'm at my worst at night when I'm trying to get the kids in bed (especially when Brian's gone.) I just want them to be sweet little angels & lay down and sleep, but usually when I'm exhausted that doesn't happen. :)
I'm trying to find a good balance with life right now too. At the end of the day I look at at least one good thing I did with the kids to make them feel loved, and then I don't feel to bad for all the other things that need to get done. I did have to laugh though at you finding Chloe's shoe in the street. ha ha that's something that would definatly happen in our family. :)
You are in training for that third bundle of joy. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are a wonderful mother with normal feelings and frustrations. Hang in ther kiddo!I am right there with you! I have days like that all too often.
I think it is great about Sherri's new calling. She will be great!!
I had never considered a rewind bottom what a great way to look at it. Sorry you had such a bad no, let's say busy day. Thank heavens you blogged about it so you can laugh later, albeit much later. When a day stands out like this one (and it should) perhaps you can take some compensation in that, not all days are like that, at least I hope not.
Love you Mom
I know how you feel.
Right now, my ex has my children. We have split custody, which means I get them every other year.Don't I wish I could press rewind to all of the times when I was a little short with them, and just hold them and rock them and cherish them a little more. Because now, when I don't get to see my precious little ones every day, I wish they were here doing all of the little things that make me crazy.
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