Cory and I trade off singing to our girls at bedtime. Each time one of us sings them to sleep, one song is never enough. It never fails, they will always ask for "one more song please". On Saturday night, after getting the girls to bed late, I was really trying to get away with just one song, but of course the all familiar pleading began for "just one more". So I did. I sang my all-time favorite songs. By the time I got to the second verse of How Great Thou Art, both girls were asleep. At this point, I usually just stop singing and quietly leave the room. But this time I didn't. I continued singing just a little bit more. As I sang, I stroked Katelund's hair and wondered where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday she was a two year old running in circles around our living room floor. Then my thoughts went to the future as I realized that before too long she would no longer be wanting me to sing her to sleep or tuck her in at night. My singing then turned to pleading as I prayed for just a little more time. More time for her to just be a little girl. More time for me to teach her all the things that I need to teach her. More time to be silly with her, listen to her, comfort her, protect her, and learn from her.
More time for me to become the kind of mother that she needs me to be.
Yesterday in stake conference, I was part of the stake choir. One of the songs that we sang was More Holiness Give Me. As I sang the words to the song, I realized that the song I was singing was exactly what I was feeling inside throughout the entire conference weekend. Yes, there were some AMAZING talks (especially from our visiting General Authority), but it was even more than that. My heart was pricked over and over again as I not only heard the beautiful words of the speakers but also the powerful and humbling words of the Holy Ghost as he spoke to my mind and heart the exact words that I needed to hear. As I continued singing with the choir, I began to sing with more intensity and more feeling. The words that I sang became the prayer of my heart. Today, the words to that song are still singing within my soul as I plead for more holiness, more faith, more love, more freedom from earth stains, more strivings within, and...
...more time to become the kind of Christian that He needs me to be.
As we enter into the holiday season, I am filled with great hope. Not for more yummy holiday food (with my no dairy diet, I will miss out on all my favorites this year), not for more presents at Christmas (4 kids=no presents for me), and not for more family in our home (sob, sob no one is coming here and since this is super busy time for Cory, we aren't going anywhere either). I am filled with hope for more love in our home, more gratitude in my heart, and...
... more of my time filled with moments that will truly matter.
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