Moments that Matter

"I love..." Series {Day 1 & 2}

2012-02-02T18:20:00.005-05:00

In an effort to be more diligent about blogging, I am going to try something different and fun for the month of February. Each day I am going to write about something I love. Who knows, you may learn some new things about me. Since I am starting a day late, I will start off with two today.

Day 1

I love pearls. My pearl necklaces and earrings are my very favorites. I don't have real pearls, but hopefully someday I will. For now, I am totally content with all the many different kinds of pearl necklaces I have. I'm pretty sure I have about 5 or 6 different ones. I usually don't wear them just for everyday wear, but I love to wear them on special occasions or to church on Sunday. Not only do I love the way that they look, I also love this story. When I was serving in young women, I gave a copy of that story to all the laurels and then I gave them a pearl bracelet (plastic ones) to remind them of the eternal and celestial treasures or "real pearls" that are awaiting them. Awhile back I had felt impressed to buy another fake pearl bracelet at Old Navy. One day later, my friend told me how her daughter wore her pearl bracelet every single day and how she had just barely lost it and was so disappointed. I couldn't believe it! I knew exactly why I had felt impressed to buy it. It was a pretty amazing experience, and it has only increased my love for all things pearl.

Day 2

I love to take bubble baths. It is seriously one of my cure-alls (I have two others which I will save for another day). Had a bad day? Take a bubble bath. Feeling discouraged, overwhelmed, or frustrated? Take a bubble bath. Need to escape from crying babies and fighting children? Take a bubble bath. Need to have some time to just think? Take a bubble bath. Oh the list goes on and on. I would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER live in a house without having a bath tub in the master bath. It's just a necessity for me. One of the very best Valentine's Days ever was when Cory and I lived in Rexburg and I was pregnant with Katelund. He had me go into our bedroom for about an hour. Meanwhile, he made an amazing dinner and prepared everything else. After we ate our delicious dinner on china and with candles and roses on the table, he then excitedly led me upstairs to a candlelit bathroom with rose petals all over the ground leading to the bathtub where he had floating candles and rose petals adorning the bubbly warm water. But wait, it didn't end there. As I soaked in the most luxurious bathtub ever, he sat on the side and rubbed my feet, washed my hair, and fed me chocolate covered strawberries (which I threw up about 20 minutes later). Hmmmm...maybe that is where my obsession with bubble baths came from. MAYBE he will do it again this Valentines...a girl can dream right?!

January in Pictures

2012-02-01T07:59:00.005-05:00

For some reason when I tried putting the journaling under the pictures, it just messed everything up. So sorry about the weird stuff under the pictures and you'll have to scroll to the bottom of the post for the journaling.

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Picture 1...Near the beginning of January, I had a run in with...well it's kindof a funny and embarrassing story. I probably shouldn't put in my blog, but I wanted to post it so that I won't forget...although I don't think I ever will. It was my first busted lip ever. Thankfully, it healed within a week's time.

Picture 2...For some little girls, a baby high chair is used as a baby's high chair. But then there is Hailey. To her, it is just one more step stool to get to something out of reach.

Picture 3...Last week, my sweet friend Alison was admitted to the hospital. She is seriously my hero. She is going through chemo for her third time. She is a complete inspiration to me and I feel so incredibly BLESSED to have her as a friend.

Picture 4...This picture was taken at the mall's play center. Hailey is at the perfect age for it. She loves all of the slides and ladders. But, I get a lot of worried looks from other mothers around me as she attempts to climb over and jump from all the things she shouldn't be. I think it's a great place for her to get some energy out. Besides, soft equipment and a bouncy floor is a lot better than a hard wood floor at our house or a dresser that almost fell on top of her. Seriously, everyday I pray for her safety.

Picture 5...Here is the dresser that almost fell on her awhile back. It is actually positioned so that if it falls, the crib will block it from falling all the way to the ground. I have had to "Hailey proof" her entire room. We also had to install latches on the tops of all of our doors because she figured out how to unlock the deadbolts and one day she was found by one of our neighbors in the street a couple houses up from us. It pretty much scared us to death!! I can only imagine what my neighbors must be thinking. They already think we are crazy for having four children and now I can't even manage the ones I have?! She has actually attempted to open the latches with a broom (yes, she is way too smart!) but luckily, she couldn't quite get it.

Picture 6...This is one of Katelund's school assignments that she brought home from last week. If you look closely you will notice that she got all of the questions right, except the very last one. Whenever she gets an answer wrong on her assignments, I make her redo them or I go over it with her to reinforce what she's learning. But not this time, this time I couldn't stop laughing. Read the question and then her answer. Seriously...stupid question, stupid answer, right?! I loved her response. If I was her teacher I would've given her bonus points just for being so stinkin' cute.

Picture 7...Here is proof that Cory's toes look great with nail polish and a flower sticker. He's caved in and finally just come to terms with the fact that having four little girls and a wife who loves to give pedicures...means he will sometimes get his toes painted. Don't worry, we take it off after we laugh our heads off and get pictures.

Picture 8...I was actually quite impressed with how well she put the lipstick on. Way to go Hailey, too bad you are like 14 years away from wearing lipstick.

January in Pictures

2012-02-01T07:56:00.006-05:00

Picture 1...I spent many hours putting this together for Literacy Night at the girls' school. (I actually took this picture before it was completely finished. There were two pics of her books added to the bottom of the left white square.) It was all made out of butcher paper and I hung each of them with clothespins on a string that I tied up. It was a lot of fun and a GREAT event to be involved with. One of my friends was in charge of the night and she did such a great job. The author of the Llama Llama book series was flown in for the night and it was so much fun hearing her speak about her books. I would LOVE to write children's books someday.

Picture 2...Have I told you how much I LOVE having four girls?! Well, I do. Sometimes (a lot of times) things are loud and crazy, but honestly, I even love that (except when I don't) :).

Picture 3...There is no question about who the favorite is in our house. It's definitely Daddy. And...he's my favorite as well.

Picture 4...We have had a very spring-like winter this year. I keep waiting for the cold weather to blast us, but it just hasn't. One day last week was absolutely beautiful so I spent about four hours there before I went home to pick the older girls up and then I drove right back and spent another two.

Picture 5...This is Hailey's "I'm in trouble" look.

Picture 6...This is the cupboard that Hailey is in charge of putting dishes away in. She LOVES to help with dishes, especially since I let her stand on the counter.

Picture 7...One of the food staples around our house is olives. I will open up a can and it will be gone in about 5 seconds. We all love them. I love to put them on my girls' fingers so they can eat them off. Hailey loves it, but I don't think she loves it nearly as much as Cloey does.

Picture 8...Makayla is our first baby to not take a pacifier. I thought for sure she would end up being a thumb sucker...nope. But, apparently she likes Hailey's toe.

Picture 9...This is the cutest little boy ever!! His name is Jaxon and he belongs to my friend Jenae. Although he is totally and completely head over heels in love with his momma, every once in awhile he lets me snuggle him. I've got to get in some boy time somehow.

A couple more things that don't have pictures to go with them...

In January, I ran right around 90 miles. The half marathon is just weeks away and the full is right around the corner as well. It is pretty intense training, but it will be totally worth it.

Cory has spent a lot of hours on the trails mountain biking. He LOVES it!! On Saturdays, me and the girls go running early in the morning, then the boys go biking. It is something he REALLY enjoys and he is getting pretty good at it as well.

Katelund is loving 3rd grade and is doing really well too. She has just jumped into reading with both feet this year. I LOVE seeing her walking around the house with her nose in a book. It has taken quite awhile for her to really like reading, but now that she does, she is off and reading like crazy. She is also really enjoying math this year. She is such a wonderful big sister and I can totally see why she was sent down first. I am so GRATEFUL for all of the help she is constantly giving me with the babies.

Cloey is loving 1st grade. Unlike Katelund, I never have to ask her twice to get started on her homework. She is a very good student and an absolute SWEETHEART!! It's amazing how each child fills a different place in your heart. Cloey is so sensitive to not only her friends and her sisters feelings, but also to mine. She is just a beautiful girl, inside and out.

I think I've written a lot about Hailey along with the pictures so I'll just skip to Makayla...

Makayla is sweeter than sweet! I seriously wish I could just freeze the aging process and keep her as a 6 month old forever! She is rolling over, almost sitting, eating baby food, and I'm pretty sure she is weeks away from crawling. She brings me so much joy (Although, she may not tomorrow. I had pizza last night. It was the first time I've eaten cheese for 5 months...I'm so ready to be done with this no milk diet!!)

So that is it for January...whew!!! Now I'm ready to jump into February.

Not just a kitchen table...

2012-01-25T14:33:00.003-05:00

Some say that with time, things lose their value. In many cases, this is true. But in other cases I believe that with time things not only increase in value, but eventually become priceless. Such is the case with my kitchen table.

We bought our table almost six years ago. When both leaves are put in, it can comfortably seat ten people. The only drawback to it was that it was a close-out and so it came as is...which meant no chairs. We got it anyways. For almost 4 years, we used folding chairs with it because, come to find out, chairs are really expensive when sold separately. Then one day, Cory and I were driving down the road and decided to check out an estate sale, and I'm so glad we did because that is where we found our chairs. Once we brought the chairs home, we decided that we were going to sand them all down and refinish them ourselves. A couple hour project (at least that's what we originally thought) turned into a VERY LONG project that I finally gave up on once I realized that I actually did like the original cream color. So we were left with three chairs that were sanded and four that were not. Which is why we now have three spray painted black chairs and four cream ones. I have always loved the chairs but this last summer I fell in love with them even more when my mom helped me refinish them all with the perfect fabric. Now, each day when I look at those chairs, I think of her. I think of the selfless countless hours that she not only spent last July, but that she has spent my whole life, serving and loving me.

The table no longer has the perfect finish across it, in fact, it is anything BUT perfect. It has nail polish stains, marker spots, scratches and dents all over it. It has been well used and well loved. Upon its surface, hundreds of meals have been eaten, hundreds of pages of homework have been completed, and hundreds of clothes have been folded. I have scrapbooked on it, sewn on it, and sat at it hundreds of thousands of times to read a book, lecture a child, prepare for a lesson, do my visiting teaching reports, make things for my home, school, community, or church. Upon its chairs I have bowed my head in humility as I have listened to the words of a prayer, I have felt gratitude in my heart as I have fed countless numbers of friends, family, missionaries, and neighbors. I have collapsed my head upon its surface as I have laughed harder than I thought possible, and also at other times, as I have prayed and cried for comfort, forgiveness, understanding and relief. Upon its surface, I have made gingerbread houses, rolled out play dough, taught joy school, cut out snowflakes, wrapped presents, and taught my children.

This morning as I wiped the table down for the ten millionth time, I couldn't help but smile as I wiped away the spilled water from Hailey's sippy cup, the cream of wheat from the girls' breakfast, and then put away all four sets of scriptures that were used last night as we sat at our table to read and study from the Book of Mormon. This table of mine is one filled with memories, memories of unforgettable conversations, good company, and millions of moments that have carved character and meaning not only into our table, but into our home, family, and hearts.

Yes, this table may be worthless to somebody else, but to me...it is priceless.

Angels and Running

2012-01-14T17:19:00.004-05:00

One of the greatest blessings of my life is and always has been my girl friends. Ever since I was four, I have always had a best friend. My very first best friend was Bree. To this day, I still remember what she looked like, her long beautiful brown hair and her green eyes. Then there was Monica. She had curly black hair, dark brown eyes and light brown skin. She was the first person I ever gave a Book of Mormon to. Then there was Angela. Angela was my best friend for a long long time. All the way from 3rd grade to 8th grade. We moved after 8th grade, but Angela and I continued our friendship. In fact, we still keep in touch occasionally. Then there were my high school friends. I couldn't imagine having gone through high school without them. And of course, I can't forget the best friend who has been by my side my entire life (all though at times I swore she was my enemy), my oldest sister Andrea.

Although Cory is and always will be my very best friend, Heavenly Father must have known that I would continue to need good girl friends in my life because everywhere I have moved, I always seem to find those kind of friends that come into my life and leave me a better person. Unfortunately, I am not very good at staying in touch like I should, but I think about each of my friends regularly...wondering how they are doing, where they are at, and if they have any idea the impact that they have made in my life. Each one has a special place in my heart and will never be forgotten. These friends have been angels in my life...teaching, supporting, and loving me in their own unique ways.

This morning, our family and three others drove down to the temple. Two couples did a session while the other two stayed with all the children. Then we switched. Of course it was wonderful, going to the temple always is, but there were a couple of things that made this time even more wonderful than usual. Two of them are too personal to share on a blog, but the other one happened while I was in the dressing room. I looked over and saw two of my friends in their white temple dresses talking to one another. These two friends are not just any friends. They are my 5:30 am running buddies. I have ran with them in pouring rain, icy wind, snow, and crazy cold temperatures. Why would we be so insane? Because we are training for a marathon. One morning this last week I missed our morning run and so one of them came over to my house with her children to watch my girls so that I could get my miles in for the day. When I tried to talk her out of doing such a sweet thing, she texted me the following, "You forget that we are in this together and the more you are trained, the more I am and the better we will run the big M." As I looked at the two of them in the temple, I thought of what she had written and I realized the truth of what she had said. You see, we really are all in this together. Yes, right now we are training for a marathon, but in the race of life we are training for something much bigger and much greater. We are running to win the greatest prize of all, the prize of eternal life.

As I looked at my two friends, they never looked more beautiful to me than they did right then, standing in the temple dressed in white . How grateful I am to know that I am not alone in this race of life. I am not only running along side my loving and devoted husband, I am also running with angels, some that I am trying to recruit, some that are running by my side, and others who I am following from behind. Angels who are here in my life right now for a specific purpose and others who have ran by my side through miles of intense rain, snow, and even the brisk winds of trial and suffering. In fact, I'm pretty sure some have even carried me for a time. Just as it has with all of my other "running buddies", the time will eventually come in our lives that our mortal paths will diverge into different directions, but I know that as long as we continue our "training" that one day we will cross the victory line together. But until then, I will continue my race, praying to get better with time, and daily thanking the Lord for all the angels in my life, those who are running beside me, and those who are cheering me on from the finish line.

Big Sister

2012-01-07T16:19:00.001-05:00

I walked into the bedroom and found Makayla stripped down to nothing because Hailey had decided to change her diaper.

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

2012-01-03T10:12:00.004-05:00

While Cory's parents were here last week, Cory took me on an afternoon date to the "mountains". This place is BEAUTIFUL!! It is a park that is made specifically for road and trail hiking, biking, walking, and running. It is one of our favorite places around here. I have been biking and running on the roads but I've never been biking on the trails before. It was a first for me and I absolutely LOVED it!!! We had such a great time doing it together. Cory is actually really good at it. He and some of his friends go mountain biking at least once or twice a week together. He just loves biking period. He likes to road bike but recently he has become a huge fan of mountain biking. I wanted to see what it was all about. It is actually probably the most extreme sport I've ever done on land ( sky coasting and parasailing are the most extreme sports I've done), although I guess skiing can be an extreme sport for some, and I guess last year our date night on the Harley while I was pregnant was pretty extreme and probably completely crazy of me (although, it is one of my favorite memories ever). Anyways, it was such a fun date for us.

On Saturday, Cory and I took the girls back to this same spot to ride on the "roads" (paved trails) that wind through the "mountains" (more like huge hills but they are absolutely beautiful and covered with pine trees and deer). We decided to leave Makayla home with Grandma and Grandpa (the babies usually ride together in a bike trailer that Cory pulls), but it was so weird not having her with us. It's so funny how our family of five that used to feel so big, feels so small and incomplete without our little Makayla. I so look forward to the day when our family of six will be reunited and complete with seven, our perfect little Clairisa. In fact, did you know that in Hebrew the number seven is symbolic for complete and whole? Pretty cool, huh? Our family biking trip was the perfect way to spend the last day of 2011. It was a great year for us, and we are looking forward to another wonderful year in 2012. One filled with more memories, moments, and milestones that will not only matter, but that will mold us into the kind of people that we want to become. Here's to a wonderful 2012!

Five and a Half Months

2012-01-03T10:06:00.003-05:00

She is rolling over like crazy! Last night while I was cooking dinner, she rolled over and over from one side of the kitchen to the other. It was hilarious. She is such a joy in my life. I love her like crazy!!! I took these pictures yesterday during the day. She had been so quiet in her crib so I thought she'd fallen asleep. When I went in to check on her she had spit up all over her face but looked up at me with the most precious smile ever. I tried to capture it, but of course the pictures just don't do the moment justice.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-31T09:12:00.000-05:00

Christmas 2011 was wonderful for our family. One of the best parts was getting to spend it with Grandma and Grandpa Mann. It was so much fun to share our traditions with them and create the spirit and magic of Christmas together. It was a year that we will never forget. Of course, I wish I would've captured more of it on camera, but here is a little glimpse through a couple of pictures I did take.

Makayla created an instant bond with Grandpa. He can put her to sleep like nobody else can. It was so sweet to see her face light up when she saw him. He is such a sweet Grandpa and I am constantly amazed with how incredible he is with babies. I have yet to meet a baby that doesn't fall head over heels for him (and vice versa) :)
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Not the best picture of my Christmas dinner table, but I wanted to get a shot of the BEAUTIFUL new plates that my mom and dad gave me for Christmas. I LOVE them. Not only do I love the design, but I also love that they are Correll, which means they are durable and shatter resistant. The perfect plate set for our family. When my mom was here helping with Makayla, I had told her how much I love that my girls know how to do the dishes and load/unload the dishwasher BUT through the process of learning, my 8 piece plate set has dwindled to 5. So, not only did she send me durable beautiful plates, she also get me a set of 12. No, we are not going to have a family of 12 ( I would definitely have to be checked into a mental hospital..that many children takes a special woman...like you Tasha) but we do love to have company for dinner quite often and we also REALLY need some backups. :)
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Grandpa was totally my HERO while he was here. He started and finished so MANY projects around my house that have been on my "honey-do" list for way too long (love you Cory, but seriously, 6 months??!!) The week after Christmas Cory had to work so Dad stayed home and worked here. Not only did he finish projects around my house, he also watched the babies many times so that me and Mom could go shopping and get out. I'm pretty sure I have the best in-laws EVER!!!
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One of the projects Grandpa did was set up Hailey's new bed. Then, he and mom helped me "Hailey proof" her bedroom since the previous day during nap time, Hailey had stair stepped up her dresser and it almost crushed her (thank goodness for the crib that stopped the dresser from falling all the way down). I don't think I've even scratched the surface on my blog about how fun/crazy/mischevious/and HARD WORK Hailey is. This girl seriously keeps me on my toes. I could tell you story after story!! But, I think I'll save some of them for their own post. The whole transition to a big girl bed has not been easy at all. In fact, I think I'm going to do some research and try and find an 8 foot tall crib. :)
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A family picture we took after church on Christmas morning. Notice the ADORABLE Mary Jane shoes that Makayla is wearing. One of my sweet friends from the ward crocheted them for her. How sweet is that?! I love them!
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I love this picture! I took the girls with me to go and visit one of the sweet sisters I visit teach. Our family LOVES her. She feels more like a grandma to us than just a sister in the ward. In fact, on Sunday she kissed Cory on the cheek. It was so cute. When Katelund and Cloey were over there last week, she pulled out all sorts of dress up clothes for them. They were in HEAVEN!! This picture and the last picture of Katelund are some of the goods they came home with.
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I can't believe I didn't take any pictures with our other honored Christmas guest...Roxi (Uncle Logan and Aunt Becca's dog). The girls pampered her all week long. At first, Hailey was scared to death of her (I'm pretty sure that dogs are the only thing she is afraid of). But, after a day or two, she and Roxi became BFFs. Eventually we had to put Roxi downstairs while Hailey would eat, otherwise Hailey would throw all of her food off of her high chair tray onto the floor for Roxi. It was hilarious. Hailey is still asking where Roxi is everytime she eats. It was so cute to see my girls so in love with a dog. It ALMOST made me think that someday I might actually get one.
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Our Ride on the Polar Express

2011-12-31T09:10:00.000-05:00

Four Months

2011-12-31T09:07:00.000-05:00

Although Makayla has the most sensitive tummy EVER (yes, I'm still totally deprived of milk, cheese, ice cream, chocolate, broccoli, etc), she is such a sweet and happy baby. I'm LOVING every stage she is going through. I've decided not to introduce her to baby food until she is six months. I'm hoping it will give her a little more time to grow out of her food sensitivities.

Hailey is spelt T-R-O-U-B-L-E

2011-12-31T09:02:00.000-05:00

Green Smoothies

2011-12-31T08:58:00.000-05:00

Have you heard of these? Basically you fill your blender with spinach, frozen fruit, and water. Mix it all together for a super healthy drink. I was totally suprised by how much better tasting it was than I thought it would be. But, I was even more surprised by how much Hailey loved it.

Halloween Pictures

2011-12-31T08:55:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to update my blog. It has seriously been suffering lately. So, I'm going all the way back to October to catch up on pictures.

Living with Gratitude

2011-12-07T15:00:00.000-05:00

The other week we had some major septic issues in our home. When we moved in this home (almost 3 years ago) we were not given any specific directions on how to take care of a septic tank (although, in the last week I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about them). On Sunday night, as I was washing dishes after dinner and running the washer (Makayla had a MAJOR blow out diaper), the toilets started bubbling. The girls ran in and told me that something weird was happening in the bathroom. The next thing I know Cory is running in telling me to turn the water off because we had gray water filling our bathtubs. Yes, it was totally disgusting. At that point, we stopped using all our toilets, showers, washers, etc for the next three days. The reason we waited so long before it was fixed was because Monday morning we were told by a plumber that he was getting calls like crazy in our area. He said that because it had been raining non-stop for the last 2-3 days, the ground was super saturated and it was causing lots of issues for homes with septic tanks. He told us to wait until it stopped raining and then our issue would go away. Well we waited...and waited...until we just couldn't stand it any longer. The plumber who came out told us that our 1000 gallon tank was filled with 1200 gallons of sewage. He pumped our tank, cleared our drains, and we were good to go.

Yes, it was a total inconveniance but it was so much more than that. It became a lesson to always remember. Not a lesson on septic tanks, a lesson on gratitude and thanksgiving. I don't think it was a coincidence that this all happened around Thanksgiving week. Because you see, of all the many many lectures I have given my children on having an "attitude of gratitude" there are none that have made such a lasting and impressionable impact as this one. But, the greatest lesson was not the one learned by my children. It was the one taught to me.

On Sunday night, we loaded up all the girls into the van to take a trip to the church so that we could all go to the bathroom and brush our teeth for the night. As we were driving, I was totally feeling discouraged and down thinking about how I was ever going to be able to live without a septic system. As these pessimistic thoughts were overwhelming my mind, Katelund's voice pulled me back as she sweetly said to Cloey, "you know what song keeps going through my mind? Count Your Many Blessings." Then Cloey said, "Let's sing it." So they did. I was completely humbled. My children say and do a lot of naughty and impolite things at times, but then there are those other times....times when all of the sudden time stands still as a watch and listen in awe as they they do and/or say something amazing. So amazing that I wonder if during those sweet priceless moments, the Spirit is just pouring through their pure little hearts and inspiring them to say exactly what my troubled heart needs to hear. As their angelic little voices sang the words of the hymn, my mind and heart felt more peace than it had in a long time. It was then that I knew and realized how much I had to be grateful for.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning. After spending all day Monday running to grocery stores to use the bathroom and bathing myself and my children at a friend's house, I was feeling discouraged and pessimistic once again. As I immersed myself in the scriptures and tried to ignore the piles of dirty clothes and dishes and the sewer smell that was starting to take over our house, I came across the scripture about Elijah and how he will turn the hearts of the children to their fathers. It was at this point that the Spirit began to work on me once more. My thoughts turned to my ancestors. I thought about my 5th great grandma and the life she lived in hiding because of polygomy. I thought of another grandma and how she gave up everything in order to come to Zion. The stories that have brought strength to me through the years began to flow over and over in my mind as I began to see my circumstances in a new light. A light that made me feel completely weak, pathetic, and spoiled. I am, after all, the descendant of women who have gone through situations and circumstances that I can't even imagine. At this point, I knew what I needed to do. I got up and got busy. I took my dishes outside and washed them in the freezing rain. I cleaned up the best that I could and put a smile on my face. All though I have always loved that scripture because of its powerful message of prophecy being fulfilled in our day through the Spirit of Elijah, it now has personally found its way to my heart. I am a descendant of so many courageous men and women who lived hard lives and did things that seem almost impossible. As I turn my heart to all of my grandmothers who have lived lives of obedience, honor, courage, and faith, I find a greater desire to be true to the family name I bear. Just like them, I can also do hard things, and all things through Christ who strengthens me. My hard things don't even seem to compare to theirs, but just the same, together we stand fighting for our families, our children, and our faith....even if we stand decades and centuries apart.

This Thanksgiving, I learned what it really means to live with gratitude. Gratitude for children who speak the words of angels. Gratitude for ancestors whose lives and testimonies echo in my heart and stand as pillars of strength and courage in my life. Gratitude for friends who are so willing to serve and open their homes to my family. Gratitude for the Lord and the way that he teaches me so patiently, purposefully, and perfectly.

Conversations I don't want to forget....

2011-12-06T09:24:00.002-05:00

After a family night on charity a couple weeks ago, Katelund told me that she had a great example of charity from that day. We have been talking a lot lately about the importance of choosing good friends. I tell my girls that choosing friends reminds me of how I eat a box of chocolates. I always take a little bit out of them to see what's in the middle so that I will know if I want to eat it or not. If I don't like what's in the middle then I put it back and don't eat it. I then told them as they get to know their friends they will begin to see what they are really like on the inside. If they discover that what is inside of that friend isn't that great or sweet, then they should not be friends with them. They have to be nice to everyone but they should always carefully choose their friends. Anyways, Katelund has a friend that she has really wanted to be friends with but she said that she isn't always nice to the other girls at recess. So Katelund had the following conversation with her...

Katelund: "I've decided that I don't really like you, but I am still going to try and be your friend."
friend: "Ok, I guess I can live with that."

If only we could all be that honest and humble.
----------------------------------------------------
Here is a conversation that happened later that night with Cloey...

Cloey: "Mommy, I have a really big problem"`
Me: "What is it?"
Cloey: "I don't like Lance anymore (Lance is in Cloey's primary class at church), but I really like another boy in my class. He is so nice, smart, and he never gets in trouble, just like me. I really want to marry him someday.....BUT (at this point she lowered her head) he can't take me to the temple.
Me: "That is a really big problem. What are you going to do?"
Cloey: "Well, I'm not going to marry him."
Me: "Good choice. It's a good thing that you're only six and you have plenty of time to find a boy who is just as nice and smart and who can take you to the temple someday."
Cloey: "And if I don't find someone, then I guess I'll just marry Lance."

-----------------------------------------------------

Me: "Katelund, do you like the taste of spaghetti sauce on your broccoli?" (she kept dipping them in her sauce)
Katelund: "I am making them fall trees."

How clever is that?!

----------------------------------------------------

And since Hailey refuses to talk, I'll tell you the funny thing she was doing this morning. I guess she was getting bored and needed a challenge (I'm nipping the whole climbing thing in the bud...at least trying to) so she started walking all around the house with her eyes closed. When she would bump into things she would start laughing hysterically.

Pictures and No Pictures

2011-12-02T13:04:00.011-05:00

Over the last two months I have been horrible about posting pictures and keeping my blog updated. So, here is a quick recap of pictures on my phone. Unfortunately, there were a lot of events that I didn't take pictures of but I still want to remember, so I'll give a quick recap of those as well (yes, quick and short...I promise I can do it).

My girls look pretty wild in this pictures, but I had to have one on here of "Aunt Stepi" (that's what they used to call her when we lived in Fayetteville).

Cory was in charge of our family night treat while Stefani was here. This is what he came up with. SERIOUSLY??!! Who is this guy? Just when I think I can out do him at something, he surprises me yet again. :)

This is the picture Stefani and I put together to "pin" on pinterest...but, then we realized how lame it would be to actually pin your own thing. We had a lot of fun setting up the "scenery". This was actually some of my homemade wheat bread that we gave to my friend's husband for stitching Stefani's finger up after she sliced it at our house.

Cory's parents just couldn't resist driving out here to visit Lily and their other grandkids....and maybe to see us too, then again maybe not....:)

Lily and Makayla are just weeks apart from each other. Their due dates were actually one day apart though. Apparently, none of my children like to come down to earth unless they can come down with a cousin.

Big sister taking care of the babies.

Hailey LOVES Makayla (a little too much!).

We had a family ward temple trip in October down to our temple in Atlanta. The primary had activities for the primary age children in the stake center while the adults and youth did sessions in the temple. When we first got there, I walked into the primary room to find my girls and another family's children all sitting in the chairs they'd set out and singing "Praise to the Man" together. It was the sweetest thing ever! Especially because they had decided to do it all on their own.

This is a love letter Katelund wrote to a little boy in her class.

Here is a picture of the handout I made for the Visiting Teaching Conference I did at the end of October. I wish I would've gotten pictures at the actual conference...but I guess I was too busy enjoying it.

Other things that I didn't take pictures of....

-I actually did the whole Breaking Dawn at midnight thing with a bunch of my friends. I've never gone to a midnight showing before, so I decided to do it for the last one. I'm so glad I did. The show itself was okay, but my favorite part was just being with the girls. Since we had to be there so stinking early beforehand, my friend Jenae and I, ran 3 miles around the movie theatre parking lot. It was a great way to wake myself up.

-For Halloween, we went over to a friend's house and did our traditional chili dinner with about 5 other families before the trick or treating. Then the kids went around while the adults all sat around their outdoor fire pit and hung out together. It was such a fun night!!

-For Thanksgiving, we actually didn't have any family this year so we invited three families and a man from our ward. I REALLY wish I would've taken pictures. The day started off great with my annual "Turkey Trot" (not an official one) with 3 of my friends. We ran about 5 miles...just enough to take away the guilt of all the pie we would eat. Then Cory went and played football at the ward Turkey Bowl. Cory and I cooked the turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and bought a pecan pie. Then everyone else brought two sides and a pie. We had DELICIOUS food and even better company.

-Then this last week we had a lesson in gratitude, but that is a whole other post....coming soon.

-Oh, and one more thing, Makayla is officially sleeping through the night!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

Process vs. Product

2011-11-14T14:04:00.005-05:00

Growing up, Saturday was our chore day. Even if we spent the night at a friend's house, we always had to be home by 7 am so that we could do our Saturday chores as a family. We worked until at least noon and then we were free to play with friends, or whatever else we wanted to do. Although at the time I HATED this Saturday tradition, as I look back on it now I think it was one of the best traditions we had. Me, my sisters, and my parents would clean out and organize the garage, pull weeds in the garden, scrub the bathrooms, mow the lawn, paint the house, etc. We worked hard and accomplished a lot.........at least that's how I remember it.

Now fast forward to my life as a mother with children who are old enough to work. Seriously, Mom and Dad, how did you do it??!! Teaching children to work is not only hard work it also requires A LOT of patience, long-suffering, repitition, consistancy, and endurance. Disciplining is hard, but I think that teaching your children how to work is even harder. But, it is worth all the effort it takes (I need to remind myself of that every single day!!).

This last Saturday evening, after our chores were done, we decided to build a camp fire in our homemade backyard fire pit and roast marshmallows. Cory told the girls that they needed to go and help him break branches from the big pile of tree limbs that he had trimmed off our trees over the summer. I was in my bedroom feeding Makayla and as I looked out the window to watch my girls "working" with their Daddy, I started laughing. There was Cory breaking and cutting up wood while the girls were making leaf piles and running and jumping into them. Although part of me wanted to open the window and tell the girls to get back to work, I didn't. Instead, I just enjoyed the moment. I watched with fondness as they played with one another, laughed together, and even taught Hailey how to make an angel in the leaves. They were ten of the best minutes of my day.

Although they had only broken up a handful of branches, they had so much fun "working". As we sat around the campfire later that night, they proudly talked about all of the branches that they had helped break apart. The words of the kindergarten teacher that mentored me as I did my student teaching came to my mind. One day as we were looking at the finished products of one of the art projects I had come up with, I commented about how horrible they looked and that I guess that project was a failure. She then said, "Melissa, it is the process that matters most, not the product." Those words have become a life lesson for me over and over again through the last seven years.

So much of what we teach and do as parents end with a product that may at times seem like a failure. The "scrubbed" bathtub that is not even close to clean, the silverware put away in the wrong slots, the bedroom that is clean until you look under the bed, and the "clean" windows that now have more streaks than when they were dirty. But then there are moments, within the painful process of teaching, that the real lessons are learned and when the true measures of success are realized. Moments of clarity when all of the sudden the task to be accomplished is overshadowed and insignificant as you see what is truly happening in the process.

I'm sure that as I worked all of those many Saturdays growing up, that the jobs that I did were not even close to what my parents hoped for or expected. But nonetheless, within the recesses of my memory I can still see me "working" alongside my family to fix every problem that needed fixing and every job that needed doing. And in the process, we learned the most important lesson. The lesson that cannot be taught with words or lectures...because it is the lesson of love. The love that binds a family together. Growing up, we had that kind of love within our family, and we still have it today. This is the lesson that I want my children to learn. The people that we become, the product of our existance here on earth, will never be complete in mortality. But, the processes we go through, the lessons we learn along the way, are the ones that will determine the success or failure of the finished product.

7 Things That Every Mother Needs...

2011-11-08T09:25:00.005-05:00

1. two mothers (my own and my mother-in-law) who continually teach, love, and support me from hundreds of miles.

2. a husband who will sit with all four of your children for two hours of stake conference so that you can sit on the stand and be part of the choir. This is one of MANY things that he is constantly doing for me and our children. Although he's not perfect, he's perfectly what I need.

3. A friend to run with at 5:30 in the morning. Seriously, it is so therapeutic (mentally, emotionally, and physically). I look forward to my morning runs because I love to be with Jenae and because I am always so much more productive on days that I run.

4. Sisters who somehow always know when I need them (even though the closest one to me is 12 hours away). The other day I had one of those pity party days. The kind where I spent the day griping at my children and husband because I am sick of cleaning up everyone else's messes. I was also just feeling so inadequate and inferior in so many ways. Like I said, a major pity party. Little did I know that my sister had been working on this project for school all about me. She sent it to my email last night. As I watched it I just cried and cried. How did she know that I needed something like that? Because she is my sister and somehow she just always knows.

5. chocolate....except when you can't eat it! AHHHHHH!!! Can you tell that I'm still in withdrawls?! I'm actually doing okay without it (most days). It's a good thing I can still drink diet coke. :) I am learning so many things through this diet, but the greatest thing I'm learning is self control and self discipline. Two things that I really need to improve on.

6. A baby to kiss. I keep telling everyone that I am done having children, but then there is this other part of my heart that just can't imagine not ever having another sweet precious baby again. It is almost too hard to even think about. But, I'm pretty maxed out at this point so I guess I'll just keep enjoying this beautiful baby girl that is the toughest baby I've ever had. You'd think she was my first baby because she is SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than any of my other children.

7. Christmas music. Yep, I've already started listening to it and oh man it seriously makes all my mundane chores so much more exciting! I'm LOVING the beautiful music filling my home (I'm listening to the David Archuleta Holiday radio on Pandora) and the BEAUTIFUL fall colors out my window. I LOVE this time of year!!!

2011-11-07T13:38:00.003-05:00

Cory and I trade off singing to our girls at bedtime. Each time one of us sings them to sleep, one song is never enough. It never fails, they will always ask for "one more song please". On Saturday night, after getting the girls to bed late, I was really trying to get away with just one song, but of course the all familiar pleading began for "just one more". So I did. I sang my all-time favorite songs. By the time I got to the second verse of How Great Thou Art, both girls were asleep. At this point, I usually just stop singing and quietly leave the room. But this time I didn't. I continued singing just a little bit more. As I sang, I stroked Katelund's hair and wondered where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday she was a two year old running in circles around our living room floor. Then my thoughts went to the future as I realized that before too long she would no longer be wanting me to sing her to sleep or tuck her in at night. My singing then turned to pleading as I prayed for just a little more time. More time for her to just be a little girl. More time for me to teach her all the things that I need to teach her. More time to be silly with her, listen to her, comfort her, protect her, and learn from her.

More time for me to become the kind of mother that she needs me to be.

Yesterday in stake conference, I was part of the stake choir. One of the songs that we sang was More Holiness Give Me. As I sang the words to the song, I realized that the song I was singing was exactly what I was feeling inside throughout the entire conference weekend. Yes, there were some AMAZING talks (especially from our visiting General Authority), but it was even more than that. My heart was pricked over and over again as I not only heard the beautiful words of the speakers but also the powerful and humbling words of the Holy Ghost as he spoke to my mind and heart the exact words that I needed to hear. As I continued singing with the choir, I began to sing with more intensity and more feeling. The words that I sang became the prayer of my heart. Today, the words to that song are still singing within my soul as I plead for more holiness, more faith, more love, more freedom from earth stains, more strivings within, and...

...more time to become the kind of Christian that He needs me to be.

As we enter into the holiday season, I am filled with great hope. Not for more yummy holiday food (with my no dairy diet, I will miss out on all my favorites this year), not for more presents at Christmas (4 kids=no presents for me), and not for more family in our home (sob, sob no one is coming here and since this is super busy time for Cory, we aren't going anywhere either). I am filled with hope for more love in our home, more gratitude in my heart, and...

... more of my time filled with moments that will truly matter.

Love it!

2011-11-01T15:10:00.001-05:00

A conversation after school today...

Cloey: "There is a new boy at school and today on the bus he told me that he wants to marry me."

Katelund: "Man, what is up with boys these days?!"

What I've Been Up To

2011-11-01T08:09:00.004-05:00

Last week I got to spend time with one of my favorite people in the whole world, Stefani (Cory's baby sister) AND her beautiful baby, Lily. Lily and Makayla are only 3 weeks apart, so it was really fun doing the whole baby thing together. I can still see Stefani as that little 6 year old girl that was my best friend's little sister. I loved the time we spent in Fayetteville because I got to know her as a teenager. I seriously fell in love with her! She has a heart of gold!! I loved that girl so much and I haven't really gotten to spend a lot of time with her since then, which has been like six years. Having her in our home for a week was so WONDERFUL!!! Cory and I just kept saying over and over how much we love her and how much we are HOPING that her husband goes to med school out here in Tennessee (that's why they were out here) so that we will only be a couple hours away. It was amazing, while she was here my flaundry would somehow just fold on its own. I'd leave the room with a basket full of laundry on my bed and when I'd come back to it, it was already folded. That's just who Stefani is. One day she told me to just leave and go to the store on my own. Although I didn't leave Makayla, I really could have and not even worried. Stefani has such an amazing gift. She has always been SO GOOD with children. When we lived in Fayetteville, she would go and sit with women who were sitting alone with their children because their husbands were deployed. She saw a need and she would immediately act upon it. Someday when I grow up, I want to be like Stefani!!
We also had lots of laughs. One of the things that was consistent with almost every conversation we had was the sentence, "I saw it on Pinterest". So, after one of my friend's husband stitched up Stefani's finger (she sliced it open slicing apples) we made some bread to say thank you. But not only did we make bread, we also made up a cute saying, put some ribbon on it and created a "photo shoot" so we could put it on pinterest. Afterwards, we realized how lame that really was but we had a lot of fun doing it. She has been gone for a week now, and I am still having withdrawls. We had such a great time.

*Last Thursday was our ward's visiting teaching conference. I am the VT coordinator right now so this was my baby. I loved doing it and had a lot of fun with it. My theme was all centered around a s'more. I made up a whole analogy with a s'more and visiting teaching. We had the activity outside in our Bishop's backyard. We sat around a camp fire in snuggled up in our sweatshirts and blankets and listened to great talks by our RS president and Bishop. I wish I had taken some pictures. Two of my good friends helped me decorate with Christmas lights and outdoor lanterns. I do have one picture I'll post below of the handout I passed out the Sunday before.

*A couple of months ago, a girl moved into our ward. She had me at hello. Just kidding. But really, have you ever seen someone for the first time and just knew that you would be friends? That's how I felt about her. She has become such a great friend and I LOVE being with her. We have been meeting every morning REALLY early (this morning we met at 5:30) to run together. I never thought I would enjoy running so much, but it is so fun to run and talk with her. We have decided to do a half marathon in Feb. and then a full marathon in April. Crazy, right? I just have to do a full one. It's for my Grandpa Black. He ran MANY marathons in his life and after he passed away, I decided that since he can't run anymore (although maybe he does in the Spirit World) that I'll run for him. I am by no means a runner. Just a girl who loves her grandpa and loves a challenge, especially when I'm doing it with friends. We are trying to get a big group together to do it. Wanna do it with us? Fly out to Nashville in April. There's actually a country music concert every mile and then a big one at the end. It's going to be so much fun. Hopefully I don't kill myself getting there. We are up to 6 and a quarter or so miles each morning. Now I just have to be able to do four times that. Whew. I can do hard things. I can do hard things. :)

*Halloween was great! We had so much fun celebrating it with a bunch of family friends last night. I think Cory went a little over board on the girl's makeup but they liked it and so I guess that's all that matters. They were WAY TOO scary for me!! I'm all about the princess costume but they really wanted to be a spider witch and a vampire (this year we just re-used past costumes). But, my mind is already reeling for next year and I think I'm actually going to go all out next year with hand sewn family themed costumes like my sister-in-law, Amber, always does. You should see the one they did this year! She's amazing. Why do I have to have such incredible sisters and sisters-in-law. They just make me look so bad!!! Oh well, I love them anyways.:)

So apparently, I still need to upload my pics. They'll be coming soon, I've got to get off this computer and get some stuff done.

Humble Pie and Letting It Go

2011-10-18T16:10:00.006-05:00

Without going into great detail (or any detail at all because you never know who will stumble across your blog), this week I have really been given a huge slice of humble pie. It is not that humble pie isn't good for you or that I have never had it before, but it was totally unexpected. Have you ever done something that you were super excited about and then somebody totally misinterpreted it and became offended by it? Yep, that's what happened. I really feel bad about it, but mostly because I just don't understand where this person is coming from. But, I'm swallowing it down and remembering that there is always something to be learned. Even if I don't understand and the prideful side of me really wants to fight back, I know that in the end what will really matter is how I handle it.

When we lived in Fayetteville (about 6 years ago), we had the MOST INCREDIBLE stake president ever!!!! He was actually just released a couple of weeks ago. Cory and I absolutely LOVED (and still love) him. Whenever you would pass him in the hallways at church, he would always stop, address you by name, and then make you feel like you were the most important person to him. When he spoke in stake conference, I would sit on the edge of my seat, write everything down that he said, and then leave determined to do exactly what he asked us to do. I have had some good stake presidents, but he was more than a good stake president. He was AMAZING!!

One stake conference, Cory and I walked in together and sat as far away as we could without making it totally obvious that we were in a fight. To this day, I have no idea what we were fighting about, but I do remember being really mad. We kept our distances and desperately tried to put on a happy face for those around us. I'm sure the talks were wonderful, but I was so upset that it was hard to even focus let alone feel the spirit. Then President Catlett stood up to speak. He gave a beautiful talk, one that only he could give. Near the end he spoke from his heart about some things that he wanted us, as the adult members of the stake, to improve upon. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I do remember three words that he said with such power and intensity that it pierced me to the very center of my heart. He said, "whatever it is that you are holding on to, whatever grudge you may be carrying, LET IT GO." After those three words my heart grew three sizes bigger and as I swallowed my pride and scooted right up next to Cory I whispered three other words in his ear, "I love you". Those three words made a huge impact on me that day. Little did I know that those three words, that specific and direct counsel from a man of God whom I loved and sustained completely and unquestionably, have come to my mind over the last six years over and over again. Today, they came once again, just as powerfully as they did all those years ago.

So today, I'm swallowing my pie and letting it go.

Wheat Bread and Wheat Pancake Recipe

2011-10-14T15:24:00.002-05:00

Andrea's Wheat Bread

2 tbsp yeast
1/2 c warm water
5 cups hot water
12-13 cups wheat flour
2/3 c honey
2/3 c oil
2 tbsp salt

First, in a small bowl, mix 2 tbsp yeast with 1/2 c warm water.

In a separate bowl, mix 5 cups hot water with 7 cups wheat flour. Then add 2/3 c honey, 2/3 c oil, and 2 tbsp salt. Mix together and beat for 10 minutes (it feels like forever, but I think it's pretty important to do it the full length of time).

Add yeast mixture and then add 5-6 c more wheat flour. Mix for about 6 minutes, until dough pulls away from the side of the your mixing bowl.

Grease bread pans and pour oil on your hands. Then divide the dough into thirds or fourths (depending on the size of your loaf pan). Bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes.

Wheat Pancakes

1 c milk
3/4 c whole wheat flour
2 eggs
2 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
4 tbsp oil
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder

Blend milk and flour at high speed for 4 minutes. Turn blender to low speed and add remaining ingredients. Keep heat on griddle at medium-high setting as pancakes tend to scorch easily.

{My favorite way to eat these pancakes is with a little bit of syrup, sliced up bananas and cool whip on top.....SO YUMMY!}

AMAZING Minestrone Soup Recipe

2011-10-14T12:26:00.002-05:00

Here it is girls, the best Minestrone soup ever. Well, I guess it's the only one I've ever made, but I LOVED it (I've eaten it for lunch for like 3 days straight!). I actually got it from my friend Melanie's blog. Have I told you about it before? If not, you MUST check it out. I get almost all of my recipes from it. Go to www.thesisterscafe.blogspot.com to check it out.

Here's the recipe....

Favorite Minestrone
submitted by Melanie

2 tablespoons olive oil
3 potatoes, peeled and cubed
5 carrots, chopped
4 stalks celery leaves and all, chopped
1 sweet onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, chopped
1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
1 (15 ounce) can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 can petite diced italian tomatoes
2 (14 ounce) can chicken broth
4 cups water
a couple of handfuls of chopped fresh spinach leaves
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil
1 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano
1 tablespoon salt
2 cups cooked shell pasta
DIRECTIONS
Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Stir potatoes, carrots, celery, onion and garlic into pot. Mix in tomato paste, beans, tomatoes, broth and water. Season with basil, oregano and salt. Cook and stir 30-40 minutes, or until vegetables are tender.
Add the chopped spinach the last 5 minutes.
Cook shell pasta in a separate pot until al dente. Stir pasta into soup. Serve with a generous sprinkle of fresh parmesan! Yum!

Random

2011-10-13T12:04:00.007-05:00

My girls LOVE Star Wars. We watch them together as a family quite often on our Friday movie night. The other day Cloey decided to use lipstick to paint her face like the queen.

Katelund LOVES to write word problems for her math homework. Her teacher always puts comments about how funny they are. This is the one she wrote on one of her math pages this week. I LOVE the last line she writes... "You know like boom!"

Do you know those kind of people who can do it all? At the end of the day they look perfect, their house is perfectly clean, they have a delicious homemade meal on the table at 5, and kids are asleep at 7? Well, that is SO NOT ME!! I wish it was, but let me tell you how it is for me. Yesterday I decided to make some wheat bread (Andrea, I LOVE your recipe). In order for me to make wheat bread, I have to have a perfectly clean kitchen because by the end of the project it is going to be a huge disaster. Then I have to grind tons of wheat (so I have leftover for my favorite wheat pancakes), and then begin making the bread. Why does it take me all day? Because I have a 3 month old baby and a toddler who is in to EVERYTHING! At one point, I actually got so frustrated that I put all of the kitchen chairs into a locked bedroom so that she could no longer climb up onto the counters and into the pantry...best idea I've ever had!! And I really try to have dinner made before my older girls get home from school so that I can put my attention on homework. So by the time Cory got home from work, he saw a beautifully clean kitchen, four loaves of homemade wheat bread, and a pot full of DELICIOUS Minestrone soup. (Olive Garden better watch out because I'm pretty sure mine is WAY better than theirs), homework complete, and four happy children. I was feeling pretty good about myself, until I looked in the mirror when I went to the bathroom. HOLY COW!!! I totally forgot to shower. I had mascara flakes around my eyes, crazy hair sticking out in all directions, and flour ALL over my total grunge outfit (you know the kind, very worn black yoga pants and high school tennis t-shirt) that I was wearing ALL DAY LONG and I'm pretty sure I ran in it the day before. Good thing he kissed me anyways and totally loved dinner!

My wheat grinder is one of the BEST Christmas gifts ever!! Thanks Mom!

I had to take a picture of Cory eating this dinner because not only did he love a soup full of vegetables (when we first got married all he would eat were corn and peas) and 100% whole wheat bread, but also a dinner WITHOUT any meat. Can you tell how excited he was about me taking this picture? LOL!

Our Clacky

2011-10-10T07:42:00.007-05:00

I love this picture of Cloey. It is SO her! She is such a fun daughter to raise. She tries really hard to be obedient and she constantly amazes me with her desires to be good and stand up for what is right. She is also quite the little missionary. But, she is still learning boundaries. When I say boundaries, I mean personal space boundaries. She is not shy very often and she loves to give people hugs (although at times it feels more like a tackle). She also has this wacky fun side to her. In our home, we lovingly refer to her as "Clacky" when she is in one of those moods. She is hilarious when she's like that but we are still trying to teach her that sometimes she needs to keep the "clackiness contained" :). On Friday, Cory and I sat down with Katelund and Cloey and talked to them about some things that we want each of them to work on and get better at. As they continually work on these things over time, they will be rewarded, nothing better than a good incentive, right? One thing we want Cloey to work on is manners. It has been so cute to watch her this weekend as she has been trying so hard to be so polite.

We went on a family bike ride this weekend. As we were riding along the trail, Cory wanted to show us where he had his biking accident a couple days earlier (he had gone mountain biking with a friend and his bike slipped under him on a really rocky trail. He has some major cuts and road rash all over his body now, just one more thing to add to his softball injury a couple weeks earlier and his second round of poison ivy from an Elder's Quorum service activity). As we went off the road, Katelund told me she needed to go to the bathroom. So I took Katelund off the trail behind some trees and Cory kept riding since anytime he stopped Makalya would start crying (he was pulling them in a bike trailer). After we were done, we hurried onto our bikes to catch up. In Katelund's mad rush to be in the front with Cory, she fell off her bike and scratched up her hands and leg. We all gathered around to make sure she was okay. She was doing some serious crying. Then Hailey and Makayla both started crying as well. Cory and I just looked at each other, laughing on the inside, as we realized how pathetic our situation was. Amidst all the commotion, I looked over and saw Cloey quietly carrying Katelund's bike up to the trail for her. It was so sweet. I was so touched by her quiet and simple act of kindness.

Those are the moments that I live for as a mother. Yes, she is all about getting her incentive, but I don't think that had anything to do with why she did what she did. She did it because she loves her sister. She did it because she is just that kind of a person. A little person that continually amazes me with her huge capacity to love. Our family would be so incomplete without Cloey. She brings so much love, spunk, and excitement to our home. Life just wouldn't be the same without our little Clacky.

Chicken and Hormones

2011-10-08T12:25:00.002-05:00

Ever since I have become obsessed (out of necessity of course) with the labels on food, I have come to realize how much junk is in things. I can totally see why people are going towards the "whole and real food" way of eating. I am all about eating an apple instead of apple juice, homemade bread vs store bought, making my own granola instead of buying the bars, etc...BUT, I am also not totally sold on the whole organic thing. I think there is some validity to what they say, but it is so stinking expensive to shop at stores like Earth Fare or Whole Foods. The thing that is really getting to me lately is the whole chicken thing. I buy my chicken from Sams. I LOVE the price and I also love that I can use two chicken breasts to feed my family of five (really 6 if you count the chicken that eventually trickles into my milk).

But what about the inhumane way that these chickens are being raised? What are the long term consequences of eating chicken that is filled with hormones and such to make them way bigger than they naturally are? I just don't know. How can I afford to feed my family if all of my food budget goes toward meat from Earth Fare? I can just hear myself now, "Sorry kids, there's no food in the cupboards but at least what you do eat is supposedly the best money can buy." I say supposedly because really what if the whole organic thing is just a big old scam? What if those chickens are given the exact same hormones just in lower doses or maybe they are given something way worse? AHHHH!! I just don't know. The real solution is to just have a huge garden in my backyard and my very own chicken coup for eggs and even a couple cows for milk. So I guess we need to live on a farm. We never should've moved away from Idaho. :)

But until that day, I think I'll just keeping buying my hormone filled chicken at Sam's Club and hopefully we won't all die from cancer in the meantime.

Battlefields and Prophets

2011-10-05T10:47:00.006-05:00

The other weekend Cory and I loaded up our girls, their bikes, his bike, and the double stroller and drove about 20 miles down the road to one of the Civil War Battlefields. This particular battlefield was where the last major Confederate victory took place. It is 5300 acres!! It is not only huge, but it is also beautiful! There are monuments and trails everywhere. Cory went on a 25 mile bike ride with the boy scouts and the girls and I went on our own ride. The girls rode their bikes while I ran/walked with the stroller. It was so much fun!!! The weather was perfect and we even saw about seven deer.

The girls' favorite part was when we climbed up the winding staircase of the 85 foot monument that looked like Rapunzel's tower. On our way back to the van we each took turns making up our own story of the monument. I wish I had recorded their stories. They were hilarious. My story told of a love story between a girl who was from the south and a soldier from the north. She told him that she would meet him at the top of the tower and he would come and rescue her on his horse. Yep, I'm totally a sappy romantic. But I'm not the only one, you would be totally shocked at how romantic Cory is. Anyways, back to the other weekend....

As we were walking, the girls wanted to know all about the Civil War. As I explained to them what they were fighting about, the girls just didn't understand why anyone would be okay with having slaves (although, they sure don't have any problem with ME being their slave...just kidding...kindof). It's so easy to look back in history and see things so clearly. Right and wrong just seems so black and white, and yet in the present, there seems to be so much more gray. I don't think things are really that different. Right will always be right and wrong will always be wrong, but for whatever reason, the lens of the past and future are perfectly clear while the lens of the present seems to blur up so quickly. After this last weekend of General Conference, I feel like my lens has cleared up. I can see so much clearer the many things that I need to improve on and/or change. I'm so grateful for a prophet, a Seer, who can, and always will, see things as they really are and as they really will be.

Just a Body

2011-09-29T16:42:00.006-05:00

About two months ago I got a new route for visiting teaching. I now visit two sisters. Both of these women are incredible. Not only do they each have great personalities but both of them are fighters. One of them has a brain tumor and the other one not only has cancer but also had a stroke about a year ago. After visiting these sisters this last month, I believe that I was the one who received the greater lesson.

When I was sitting in the living room of one of the sisters, we sat and talked about her daughter and her grandchildren. She got so excited as she discussed the possibility of them coming out for Christmas. Then she got very emotional as she shared with me her fears and concerns of her daughter seeing her like she is. Mentally and physically she has aged and of course she continually battles the frustrating residual effects of a stroke. As she poured her heart out to me I held her shaky aged hands in mine and tried to comfort her the best way I knew how. I felt impressed to share with her that the same beautiful spirit that she came to this earth with is still within her and that will never change. We continued to chat for awhile and as I was leaving she kissed Hailey goodbye and reminded me to enjoy these precious moments with my children that will be gone before I know it. As she stood on her front porch and waved goodbye, I felt so much love for this woman. Her husband passed away years ago, and yet she continues onward, battling age and disease in the best way she knows how.

Then I went to the next sister's house and listened as she told me of an incredible experience she had at the temple. Then she showed me how her hair is falling out because of the chemo treatments that she is taking yet again. Once again I felt impressed to talk to her about the beautiful spirit within her. I have loved this woman ever since I moved here. She is loving, thoughtful, grateful, humble, and just as the older sister I visit, she is a fighter. Because of her brain tumor, she has seizures and memory loss that has become a part of her everyday life. And yet, you never hear her complain. There is spunk in both of these women. A special fire within them that keeps them going and fighting day in and day out.

I couldn't imagine how hard it must be to lose my hair by the handfuls or to not have the words come out that I want to say, but I do know what it is like to be in the presence of these women. Yes, their bodies show the effect of the diseases they carry, but they are just bodies, tabernacles of two beautiful and remarkable spirits.

The next day as I got out of the shower and glanced in the mirror at my body, my heart sunk as I was once again reminded of the price I have paid having five children. My body will never be the same. The vertical scar below my belly button, ever pointing heavenward to the baby of my dreams, and the horizontal scar still fresh and red from the recent reopening. Although I would never trade my children for a perfect body free of scars, I still look forward to the day when this body of mine will be resurrected in a more perfect form. But even as this hopeful and joyful thought came to my mind, the spirit reminded me one more time that this is just a body, a tabernacle that houses a divine and heavenly spirit.

Although I should do all that I can to take care of my body and treat it as the temple it is, there is only so much that we can do. Aging is inevitable, and with aging comes the possibility and probability of disease. I have seen my dad fight with diabetes and the unbearable pain of neuropathy for years. I have witnessed my great grandma slip away with alzheimers and my grandpa quickly and unexpectedly die from leukemia. I have prayed and fasted for cancer to leave and never reappear in the body of my sister-in-law. Each of these diseases bring hardships, sorrows, and frustrations. But we need not fear. Our spirits will rise above these mortal afflictions. Fear for the future can be swallowed up in hope and anticipation for the eternities as we remember that these imperfect tabernacles of ours are just bodies, bodies that will someday lay to rest as they wait for the day when they will be reunited once again with our spirits to rise forth in glory.

Got Milk?

2011-09-27T10:56:00.004-05:00

Hailey nursing her baby...

...and then pumping afterwards. :)

Look at that crazy wild hair! I love it!

These days my life revolves around milk. It has with each of my babies, but this time it REALLY revolves around milk. Ever since Makayla was born, she has been a very fussy and colicky baby. We did all the tricks (you know, all the things that worked for our other babies), but this time nothing was helping. She would spend her days sleeping and crying, sleeping and crying. And that is exactly how I would spend my days as well, oh wait, except for the sleeping part. Just kidding. But really, it was DRAINING to say the least. I went to a girls night out a couple of weekends ago and Cory asked me if I wanted to take Makayla with me. I quickly responded by bluntly explaining to him that she was the one I needed a night away from. I know that sounds really harsh, but I just needed a couple of hours without hearing a baby cry (funny, or maybe ironic is a better word, that the baby crying in the grocery store was the answer to my prayer while I was pregnant).

Anyways, to make a long story short, we figured out last week that Makayla is allergic to cow's milk. Therefore, I can no longer eat anything with milk in it. It takes two weeks to "clean" out my milk, so she is drinking soy formula in the meantime while I am pumping like crazy in order to keep up my milk supply (I do nurse her at night though).

At first I thought that going without milk wouldn't be that big of a deal, but did you know that milk is in almost everything?! It's crazy! But, I am making do and doing without. It's not so bad, especially since I can eat candy corn, wheat thins, and licorice. (I have to have some kind of junk food, right?) They definitely don't compare to chocolate, but they will work. Other than the above mentioned food, this lactose free diet is really forcing me to eat healthier. Oh, the things we do for our children. :)

An Answered Prayer

2011-09-26T07:38:00.005-05:00

When I was saying my prayers one day about two weeks ago, I fervently prayed for something that has really been on my mind. I prayed that Katelund would develop a love for school and learning. It makes me so frustrated because she is so smart and really has the potential to be an amazing student, but unless it is something that she is really interested in doing (anything that has to do with science`)` she just doesn't care the way I wish she would. My love of learning didn't come until college, but for her, I really hope and pray that she develops it earlier.

About a week ago, I was sitting out on the front porch with Katelund and Cloey talking about their day at school. They were both laughing and reminiscing about something that happened on the bus that afternoon. Then Katelund got serious and said, "Mommy, I need to tell you something." With that kind of preface, I was a little concerned about what she "needed" to tell me. She continued, "Today while I was sitting at my desk I had a feeling come and it made me feel like I really love school." I couldn't believe it. I just started laughing. Then crying. I told her about my prayer and how that feeling she felt must have been the Holy Ghost. Ever since that day, things have been so much better. She has changed. She wants to do better and is trying harder than she ever has before.

I know she is not going to be the perfect student from here on out, and I know that somedays homework is going to be a fight (somedays it may even feel like we are fighting to the death), but I know one thing for sure. I know that the Lord hears and answers the prayers of a desperate mother. And knowing that, makes all the difference.

Hailey Jane

2011-09-20T16:42:00.002-05:00

"Hailey Jane" (said with a "what have you gotten into this time" kind of voice) is a constant phrase said around our house these days. She is into EVERYTHING!! If it weren't for the fact that she is so blasted cute and fun, I think I'd go crazy. These pictures don't even come close to the things that she is into, they are just some that I have on my phone. She is by far the most curious and explorative toddler yet. Although I can't leave her alone for a second and I'm constantly cleaning up her messes, I couldn't imagine my life without her in it.

Our Summer Days

2011-09-16T16:38:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure how it happened, but somehow I haven't posted any pictures of how we spent almost everyday (except Sundays of course) of the summer. Because I spent so much time chasing Hailey around during swim meets and Cory was either a stroke judge or the starter, we didn't get any pictures from any of their meets. I do have some video that Cory took during the last meet but I'll have to figure out how to post it first.

Motto for Motherhood

2011-09-16T09:01:00.004-05:00

{this adorable printable was made by my sweet friend Melissa at sweetcoconutlime. Click here to download one for your home.}

This quote is framed and on the wall of the most visible spot in my home...the kitchen. I look at it and read it everyday, a hundred times a day. As I step into the kitchen first thing in the morning to get breakfast going and lunches packed, I read it. When I clean the kitchen and sweep the floor for the 5th time that day, I read it. When I pace the floors of my house with a crying baby, I read it. When my 19 month old daughter is crying for me to carry her while I am trying to get dinner ready, I read it. When I am battling the wills of my oldest daughter, I read it and read it again. When I am cleaning up all of the daily messes and spills and folding laundry ONCE AGAIN, I read it. It has become my motto. I still remember when Sister Dalton said it in one of her talks. I knew the moment that I heard it that it was something I needed to frame in my home. It just spoke to me, But it wasn't until last week, that I finally got it framed.

Earlier in the week, I had one of those break down moments (literally), you know, the kind where you are in your driveway buckling in a crying baby, trying to rummage through your diaper bag to find a pacifier for your toddler (and wondering how she managed to get food all over her clothes in the hour that she had been awake), making sure that your school age children have lunchboxes, signed agenda mates, homework, and their water bottle packed up in their backpacks, and racing the clock because if you pull out of the driveway any later you will be in major school traffic. Oh, and you had a horrible night sleep the night before so you are definitely not perky PLUS it is picture day and you are really wishing that you had put your foot down and not let your daughter wear the not-so-cute outfit that she has chosen to have her picture in (not that I have to buy the school pictures, but still!), oh and one more thing....you have gone without power for 36 hours and counting. But wait....one more thing....you turn the key in the ignition.....nothing. The battery is dead.

So I pulled out my phone and called my friend. She could hardly understand what I was saying through all of the tears and sobbing, but she dropped everything and came to my rescue. As we were driving to the store (I had also run out of diapers that morning), I just broke down. I sat there for probably a full two minutes and told her how horrible and hard my life was (yes, there was a lot of exaggeration going on). Her response was totally not what I expected. As one of my closest friends, she said to me exactly what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear, what I NEEDED to hear. She said, "Melissa, you can do this. Come on, cowboy up." I stopped crying and had a complete paradigm shift. She was right, I could do this. And, I could do it joyfully, because afterall, life is sometimes hard, and if I forget to look for the humor and see the joy than I won't enjoy the journey along the way. Besides, if it wasn't hard at times, I wouldn't be learning the lessons I need to learn in order to become the person I need to become.

It was within the next 12 hours that the power came back on and I printed and framed the above quote. It is now my constant reminder to "cowboy up". This whole mothering thing is hard, but I can do it because I know that I'm not doing it alone. It is all the little things that just build and build and build until I feel like I can't carry them any more. I just have to remember that He has not asked me to carry it alone. Alone, it will always be too heavy and too hard. I just have to remember that He is always there patiently waiting for me to ask for His help. And then I must believe. Believe that with His help, and strength, I really can do all things, even the hard things.

Baptism and a Blessing

2011-09-15T07:51:00.010-05:00

Katelund got baptized on Saturday, August 20th. She had been looking forward to this day all year long because she knew that once she turned 8, she would be baptized. I had also been looking forward to this day, but I was feeling some anxiety as well. What if she doesn't understand everything? Had I taught her all that she needed to know? Does she realize how important it will be for her to keep these baptismal covenants for the rest of her life? Was she ready? Was I ready? All these questions came to my mind over and over again all year long. Of all my children (so far), Katelund is the hardest one for me to parent. She is stubborn, strong-willed, and very difficult to discipline. But, she also has a very sweet and tender spirit. As rebellious and difficult as she can be at times, she is usually always very quick to ask forgiveness and to have a change of heart. It truly is one of her greatest gifts. But still the question remained..."does she know enough?".

On the way to the church, Cory and I had some time alone with her (grandmas, grandpas, cousins, and Andrea were all coming later with the rest of the kids). As we drove, Cory explained to Katelund that as much as we wanted her to be baptized, it was her choice. We wanted to make sure that this is what she wanted to do. She told us that she really wanted to do this (whew, not sure what we would've done if she'd said she didn't want to). We talked to her a little about the importance of covenants and what her baptism will mean to her for the rest of her life. She listened intently with a big nervous smile on her face. Then there was a moment of silence and she said, "Mommy, Daddy, I need to ask you some questions. I was wondering if Santa Claus is really real." I turned to Cory in that "I hope you can hear what I'm thinking" kind of way, and asked him (with my eyes of course) what we should say. Should we tell her on her baptism day that all those fun things you believe in when your a child are not real and that we've been lying to you all these years? Then Cory looked at me with the "honey, don't worry, I've got this" kind of look. And he said, "Katelund do you believe that Santa is real?" She said, "yes". Then Cory said, "Well, there's your answer then." There was silence is the car. I looked at Cory with a "good answer, I hope that works and we don't have to discuss this any further" kind of look. Then she spoke up once again but this time wondering about the Easter bunny. The conversation went the same for the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, and if Santa's reindeer really fly. Luckily, she was satisfied and then we changed the subject back to her baptism.

The baptism was beautiful in every way. Grandma Mann spoke on baptism, Grandpa Black spoke on the Holy Ghost. I haven't heard such beautiful and perfect talks at a baptism. Then Grandpa Mann read "the poem". The poem that I had heard about from a girl in our ward. Her Grandpa (who is our stake patriarch) had read this poem at all of his granddaughters baptisms. Once I heard that, I knew that I wanted to start that same tradition with all of my girls. So, since this was Grandpa Mann's first granddaughter to be baptized (and he has 9 more to go) I thought it would be perfect to start the same tradition in our family. (You can click here to read it.)

After she was baptized, I went back to help her get dressed in her beautiful white dress. As I wrapped her up in her white towel, my tears started flowing as I told her how proud I was of her. Then she wrapped her little arms around me and through her own tears she said, "Mommy, I can't believe I'm finally baptized." It was such a sweet moment. As I held her against my chest, my mind took me back to the day that I held her for the very first time. Here she was again, just as perfect, clean, and pure as she was when I first stared into her angelic eyes and realized that I had become a mother.

Katelund, Cloey, Abby, and Ethan sang the closing song, "When I am Baptized". But on the second verse, I had Katelund sing it by herself. She sounded like an angel. As she sang, her face shone with conviction and conversion. It was as if through those beautiful notes, I could hear her testimony speaking from her spirit to mine.

Makalya was blessed on Sunday, August 21st. She was our first baby ever to cry through the entire thing. Cory did a great job considering the fact that he had no microphone and a crying baby. He always gives such beautiful blessings to our girls. When my mom was here with me she shared with me an impression she had while she was making Makayla's afghan (she makes a beautiful afghan for every new grandbaby...it is the pink one in one of Makayla's pictures above). She felt like Makayla was going to be special. I don't know exactly what that means, neither does my mom, but I know that it is true. I know that she has great things in store for her and that she has her very own unique role to fill in our family and also in this world. How grateful I am for another precious little girl in my life.

Two Sundays ago was Katelund's first time to do a real fast. I had explained to her before her baptism that once she was baptized she would still have the choice to fast or not to fast, but, if she chose not to, then she would be breaking a commandment. I knew this would be very difficult for her, especially since I had always given her the choice and except for one time (when we had a family fast for Aunt Amber), she had always chosen not to. I told her that she could start with just fasting one meal. She chose lunch. After church, as Cloey, Hailey, and I (I'm nursing so I can't fast) all sat down to eat lunch together, Katelund was struggling with her decision. She broke down in tears and Cory and I explained to her that it was still her choice, but if she was going to cry and complain the whole time then it would not be fasting, just unhappily skipping a meal. She sat there and thought about it for a time and then she said, "No, I will not eat because I do not want to break my covenants with Heavenly Father." As she said this I could feel my heart swelling up within my chest. It was at that moment that I knew that although she doesn't know everything, she knows enough.

DIY projects

2011-09-14T09:12:00.006-05:00

I made this last week out of a ramen noodle box. I was really needing something to hold and organize paperwork, and what do you know...a ramen noodle box is the perfect size. I actually made this during our 46 1/2 stretch of NO POWER!! We had a really bad rain and wind storm and it knocked down a whole bunch of huge trees in our area (3 in our neighborhood alone). Thankfully, the weather was really nice for those 2 days and 2 nights. The girls didn't have school for one of the days (it was the day after Labor Day) because of all of the flash flooding and power outage. The girls couldn't play outside because of the rain, so most of the day I heard the following, "I'm bored. What can I do?". In fact, Cloey said that to me WHILE I was giving her a pedicure!! It was a very L.O.N.G day. When the power came back on, I was happy and yet kindof sad. I rather enjoyed the excuse of no power. "Sandwiches for dinner AGAIN?" "Yes, there's no power." "No clean laundry?" "Nope, there's no power." You see why I was kindof sad? :) But at the same time, no power for 46 1/2 hours is probably the longest I would want to go. Electricity is just one of those things that we majorly take for gran it. (Is that how you spell "gran it"? That's what spell check said but it just seems so weird. Shouldn't it be one word?)

All of these beautiful kitchen accessories (curtains and table runner for kitchen table and China Buffet) were all made by my mom. Have I told you how incredible she is?!? Well, she is. Also, notice the kitchen chairs that we upholstered and spray painted the two end ones. Cory and I actually bought our kitchen table without chairs like 6 years ago because it was majorly discounted. Once we started looking around for chairs, we realized how crazy expensive they are to buy separately. So we have just used black folding chairs for all those years. UNTIL, we found these chairs last year at an estate sale for $30. Yep, all 6 of them for $60. I had originally intended on sanding them all down and repainting them black. But after spending HOURS upon HOURS just sanding two of them, I decided to just have two black and leave the rest as is. I actually really like the way it looks. When my mom was here helping after Makayla was born, I told her how much I wanted to reupholster my chairs. That was all I needed to say. She was totally all for helping with it while she was here. We had a lot of fun doing it, and I learned how incredibly easy it is. The hardest part is picking out the fabric. Next house project for me....curtains for my library. Who knows, maybe I'll actually do this one within the next year. :)

I have a new calling. I am the visiting teaching coordinator. I LOVE it!!! First of all, I love visiting teaching (I didn't always). And secondly, I love thinking of fun things to do to help inspire the sisters in our ward to be good visiting teachers (like the gum posted above). Right now I'm planning a VT conference for next month. I'm really excited about it. Although I REALLY miss teaching the youth, I know that this calling is inspired. It has really opened my eyes and heart to the need for good visiting teachers. Sister Beck recently said that, "A sister in this Church has no other responsibility outside of her family that has the potential to do as much good as visiting teaching." I don't know about you, but that totally puts the fire in me.

The last thing I made last week was for a bridal shower. I wasn't sure what to get and I was trying to keep things small since she is going to be moving across the country. I ended up getting her a metal cookie spatula (the one I really want) and I made a cute little cookie recipe book to go with it (thanks to Amber for the recipes). Then I gave her those really cute cleaning gloves you can get at Walmart. I printed off some fun house cleaning tips and tricks that I found online to go with it. Then I wrote the following poem to tie it all together....

With every toilet you scrub and sink that you’ll clean,
May these gloves protect you against germs unseen.

For your role as a woman, will soon be made clear,
To clean up disasters of those you hold dear.

With the spatula in hand, many cookies will await,
As your family will gather and memories you’ll create.

Cleaning and baking are just two of many things,
For your hands will stay busy with the duties life brings.

But in the monotony of the chores, may you always find,
Your hands as a reminder of promises that bind.

For as you kneel at the altar in just a few days,
Your hands clasped together, your hearts set ablaze,

You will covenant with the Lord and then united you’ll stand,
Living worthy of promises for those who have clean hands.

Have You Ever.....?

2011-09-03T09:11:00.004-05:00

Have you ever recommended a book and then finished reading it and felt kindof bad for recommending it? I did when I finished reading "The Help". I liked the book and learned a lot, BUT there were some swear words throughout it and one part that was vulgar and that I really wish they would've left out. So if you read it, just know that I warned you.

Have you ever refinished kitchen chairs? My mom and I did while she was here (okay, so really my mom did most of the work, but I did some of it). They look AMAZING and it was so much easier than I thought it would be. I'll have to take some pictures once my mom finishes the matching table runner and curtain for the window over my sink (Man, I love my mom!).

Have you ever driven 35 minutes to the dentist with all four of your kids and then be told that they are an hour behind schedule? I did, and yes we left. Much to Katelund's dismay (no, I'm not being sarcastic, my girls LOVE the dentist), her filling and spacer will have to wait another week.

Have you ever been so on edge with your 8 year old daughter who is giving you attitude in the car that you tell her the next time she says something with an attitude that you will pull over and she will have to walk home? I did, and are you wondering how that worked out for me? It didn't. I pulled over and she said "okay, I'll walk home" and then starting getting out of the van. What do you do at that point???!!! I told her to get back in and that of course I would never make her walk home. Yep, I totally lost all credibility. That was a seriously bad parenting moment for me!!!

Have you ever been so distracted by the huge black bug that was crawling on your foot while you were loading groceries in your vehicle that when you walk around the back of the van you walk straight into the bike rack? I did and my head is still hurting. Hopefully, there were at least a handful of people in the parking lot who got a good laugh out of it.

Have you ever given away a Book of Mormon to your OBGYN? I did on Thursday and I was scared to death about it. I had a pretty amazing experience at my 2 week appointment where I felt the strongest impression that I should give him a Book of Mormon. So, on Thursday (at my 6 week appointment), I actually mustered up enough courage to do it. Trying to find the "right moment" was a little difficult considering what I was there for. :) But, somehow I pulled it off and gave it to him (well, actually I had him get it since I was still on the chair wrapped in a paper blanket from my waist down...yes, it was quite awkward) I wouldn't recommend doing it, unless, that is, you feel the same kind of strong impression that I did. In that case, good luck. :)

Starting Somewhere

2011-08-31T12:22:00.004-05:00

I keep thinking in my head, "okay I have got to catch up on my blog today...but there is just SO MUCH to catch up on...I'll do it tomorrow." There is so much to catch up on so I guess I'll just stop trying to play catch up. I do need to journal all of the events over the last month but in an attempt to not feel overwhelmed about one more thing in my life, I'm just going to start somewhere. A somewhere that may be a bit random and all over the place.

First of all, can I just say how much I miss my sister. She drove 12 hours from Texas with her children to see Makayla and to be part of Katelund's baptism. It meant the world to me. I always say that no matter how old I am, I will always need my mommy. Well, it is true for Andrea as well...no matter how old I get, I will always need my big sister to tell me what to do and how to do it, to tell me that everything will be okay and tomorrow will be better, to spoil me and make me laugh, and to tell me that she loves me. Somehow she always just knows exactly what I need to hear. I know for sure that it was by divine design that Andrea came first. I needed her and I always will.

Secondly, have you read "The Help"? (Thanks so much mom for getting it for me!!) It is SO GOOD!! I'm reading it when I nurse (and even when I'm rocking a crying baby at 3 in the morning). I can't wait to see the movie. I think it will be the perfect movie to go and see with a bunch of girl friends.

Thirdly, this whole four kids thing? Totally wiping me out. I love all of them (most of the time) :) and surely I will eventually get the hang of it, but for now...whew! I'm exhausted. The hardest time is from 4-7 pm each day. I can't quite figure out how to get Katelund's 2 hours worth of homework done, practice reading with Cloey, take care of a colicky baby, keep Hailey from killing herself (she is into EVERYTHING and climbs up EVERYTHING!!), and get dinner on the table. It's insane. I know that it will really help if I could get dinner made in the morning. But....any down time I have these days I'm trying to clean a messy house, catch up on laundry or sneak in a power nap. I'm sure I will adjust eventually. But for now, I'm just a little overwhelmed still. I'm pretty sure four children is all I will be having because I think I've hit my max.

Fourthly (is that even a word?), I started running again and man does it feel good. Not only do I enjoy the endorphins from exercising, I also really love the time I have to just be by myself...just me and my ipod. Oh, it feels so good. And will feel even better when fall rolls around. Next week it is actually supposed to drop into the mid 80's and the humidity is supposed to be really low. It will feel like heaven. Today I went to playgroup and just about melted. It is in the 90s and OH SO HUMID!!! Today was definitely a hat day. My hair does not get along very well with humidity.

Lastly, here are some random pictures from my phone...

First Day of School/Katelund's 8th Birthday

2011-08-26T10:33:00.002-05:00

Katelund was really excited to go back to school on her birthday. I went and ate lunch with her and brought cupcakes for her class. I couldn't believe how grown up those 3rd graders look compared to the younger grades. It was so fun to see all of the kids so excited about their first day of school. Katelund had a great day and LOVED her new class and her teacher. She also loved having her grandma here on her birthday. We waited until Friday to have a birthday party. She invited eight of her closest girl friends and we had a swimming party with pizza, hula skirts, and rice krispie treats (she chose those instead of cake).

Cloey was SO EXCITED to go back to school. She loves her teacher but was very sad when she found out that two of her good friends from last year are no longer living here. But, I'm not worried. Cloey makes friends pretty quickly. Her biggest complaint after the first week of school was that she didn't have any homework yet. She really wants to do homework like Katelund does. If only she could take half of Katelund's homework each night.

Cloey is loving first g

And I'm Back

2011-08-22T08:12:00.004-05:00

Wow. It has been awhile. The last 5 weeks of Makayla's life have been crazy, wild, and wild crazy fun. Within the last three weeks, Katelund and Cloey started school, we celebrated Katelund's 8th birthday, Cory and I celebrated our 11th anniversary, Katelund was baptized, Makayla was blessed, and at one point we had 13 people staying in our home. That's a lot of wild, crazy, and fun, don't you think?

This morning I am sitting in an all too quiet home with a baby on my lap and a much bigger baby who is trying to type on the computer with me and who has the stinkiest diaper ever. Although I am missing all the company and help, I am ready to take on life with four children. With that being said, it is going to take me at least a day or two to get my house back in order and figure out how to squeeze in a shower, so the pictures, stories, and memories I don't ever want to forget will have to be recorded later in the week. I just had to start somewhere right? And now I must get back to the daily grind of changing diapers, feeding babies, doing laundry, and mopping floors.

Dancing in the Rain

2011-08-01T14:42:00.005-05:00

One of my all-time favorite quotes is "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." I have this quote framed in my house as a constant reminder to me. I have thought about it a lot and I have really tried to live by it...something that is not always very easy.

The last couple of weeks have brought on some major "rain storms" for some close friends and a family member of mine. It has been so hard to just helplessly sit by and wait for these storms to pass, especially when you don't know exactly when that will be. But then the other day I had a moment of clarity.

It is a very rare occasion here in the south to have a summer rain without having thunder and lightening. Well, the other day it happened. So I did what any mom with three restless children and a brand new sleeping baby would do...I told them to go get their swimming suits on and have fun in the rain. They were ecstatic, in fact, so much so that I just couldn't not join in on the fun. As they ran around laughing, squealing, and dancing, I quickly ran inside to grab my camera in an attempt to capture the moment. The pictures don't even do justice to what I experienced. There in the center of the rain storm was the sun shining in all of its glory. As it streamed through the trees, each individual rain drop became more distinct and clear. It is so hard to even put into words, but it was beautiful. The rain poured down for about 20 minutes and during that whole time, the sun shone brightly, an occurrence that is very rare and one that I feel blessed to have witnessed.

Although I can't really capture what I saw with my camera or with words, I do know what I felt inside. I felt the Spirit testify to me that although the storms of life will fall upon each one of us, right there in the center of each storm is the Son. Sometimes it may be hard to feel or see His presence when the storm clouds seem to have taken over, but He is and always will be there. There are distinct moments in my life when I have been in the thick of the storm with clouds surrounding me in every direction, but in each one of those times, as I have pleaded for intervention and turned heavenward, I have always found the warm embracing love of the Savior.

Although there is nothing that I can specifically do for these individuals who I love so much, I can pray for the sun to shine upon them. I can pray that as He shines upon their rain storm that they will be able to see things distinctly and clearly and know that all these things will be for their good.

After those 20 minutes passed, the rain stopped and there above us was the most beautiful rainbow. Of all things on the earth and in the sky, there is nothing that so powerfully witnesses to me of a divine creator than a rainbow. He is not only the creator of the earth but also the creator of each of us. He is in control and He has a plan...knowing that is what makes it possible to dance..... especially when it's in the rain.

TOO cute at TWO weeks

2011-07-31T19:28:00.005-05:00

At two weeks old, Makayla still looks very much like a little baby doll. Other than the fact that she has a total zombie of a mother because of her crazy sleeping patterns, she is a very good baby...and of course absolutely adorable.

Makayla is actually named after two people. The first one was a really sweet little red-headed girl that used to live next door to us in Rexburg. Before we ever had our own little girl, Makayla was who we imagined our little girls to be like. She was fun, spunky, and so stinking cute (I'm sure she is still is, right Anne?). To this day, Cory and I still love to remember the funny things she would say and do.

Makayla's middle name is Claire, which is short for Clairisa. Although we named her before we ever saw her, I think Makayla looks the most like her. Not only because she is so tiny, but also some of her features. In fact, in the hospital one of the nurses said the exact same thing that one of the nurses said about Clairisa. She said, "I think she's going to be a pianist with those long fingers." Crazy, right?

I have no doubt that someday Makayla will accomplish great things, but for now I will just simply enjoy the little piece of heaven that she has brought with her to our home.

3 years closer till we meet again....

2011-07-26T07:55:00.000-05:00

Happy Perfection Day to the angel of my dreams!

Becoming a Mother

2011-07-22T19:19:00.002-05:00

Tonight I am sitting at home with Makayla trying to rest and do nothing (because I promised my mother-in-law that I would) while Cory, his mom, and Hailey are cheering Kateund and Cloey on at their final swim meet for the summer. I hate the fact that I am not there cheering for them, but at the same time, there is no way that I am ready to take my week old baby out into the crazy heat and humidity of a 6 hour outdoor swim meet. My house has been peaceful and quiet ever since 3:30 this afternoon. The first 20 minutes were wonderful. I laid Hailey down on my chest and actually picked up a book. But then after those 20 minutes, the house suddenly got way too quiet. I always think about how nice it would be to have some alone time but then once those 20 minutes are up, I'm over it and ready to be back in the thick of things. It's just how it is. I sometimes wonder what I used to do before I was a mom. Cory and I were married for about three years before Katelund came along. We traveled a lot and have some fun memories but my purpose and mission in life was definitely not fulfilled until I became a mother.

Last night (I guess it was actually early this morning) I was up feeding Makayla at about 2:30. As I sleepily gazed at her beautiful face, I thought about how much I love being a mother. I usually just feed her, put her back in her bassinet, and fall back into my own bed for a couple more hours, but this time I didn't. I got up and checked on all of my other sleeping babies. I went to the cupboard and got out some Vicks to put on Katelund's chest to help her sleep without coughing. I checked on Cloey and pulled blankets back up. I listened to Hailey to make sure she was breathing okay, then I heated up a rice pack to place on Cory's aching back (he had strained a muscle in it earlier in the week). Then I laid back in my bed and just soaked in the feelings of peace and contentment.

Yes, motherhood is full of ups and downs, worry, exhaustion, monotony, etc, but somehow the moments of joy seem to surpass them all. When I look back over the eight years that I have been a mother, the hard times, when I thought I just couldn't do it any longer, seem to fade into the recesses of my mind as the moments of joy and fulfillment break through to the front. It is the feeling of contentment, the feeling of knowing that I am doing what I was born to do, that gets me through the tough times. So although my incision is still stinging every single time I use any of my ab muscles, my tears start overflowing without a moment's notice, and my body...(oh the joys of a postpardom body) which is so not the same as it was eight years ago), I am trying to soak in every minute of this precious time because I know that in a blink of an eye it will be over because, unfortunately, the clock of life never stops.

The longer the clock of motherhood ticks in my life, the more I am discovering the importance of taking time to just soak in the moments. To enjoy each stage of life and start over each day with a greater determination to do better. Although I became a mother eight years ago, I don't think that my process of becoming is over or complete. I believe it is a life-long process. One that will help smooth out all those places where I am so rough and one that will lead me to the person and mother I was born to be.

Makayla Claire

2011-07-21T14:28:00.008-05:00

Although this was my third C-section, I still felt a lot of anxiety beforehand. There is just something about knowing that you are going to be cut open on a table that is just plain old scary. Cory gave me a priesthood blessing at about 4:30 am as we were waiting for my sweet friend Diane to come over and stay with the girls, and so the reassurance and peace that I needed came. Once we were at the hospital and the iv went in and the robe went on, the excitement came and the anticipation began to build.

As I laid there on that surgery table, knowing that the cutting had begun and not being able to feel anything from my ribs down, I had a moment of fear rush into me. The fear that I was all to familiar with when I was laying in that very same position just 17 months ago. The fear that comes from knowing that sometimes things don't always turn out as expected. The fear in knowing that there was always that chance that something could go wrong. Wrong enough to leave me with another broken heart. But then as the thoughts entered my mind, I looked up at Cory (who was totally into the cutting that was going on) and he just happened to look down at me. In that moment when our eyes met, all of the sudden I saw him as that 17 year old boy whom I fell in love with all of those years ago. You know how people talk about their life flashing before their eyes? Well, it was kindof like I saw our life together. I saw him as that good looking teenage boy who was totally full of himself. :) Then I saw him as the man that he turned into. The man who was no longer full of himself, but was full of love for his child, each and every child who has come into our life and created our family. I saw the tender moments of a father holding a lifeless baby in his arms and knowing that he would have to say goodbye...at least for a time. I saw a father who gently kisses his baby girls each and everyday and gathers them around for prayer each and every night. I saw a husband who is my very best friend and who still makes my heart pitter patter. This is the man that I saw look down at me, and as I saw him I knew that no matter what, everything would be okay.

Which it was. And then the crying began. The long awaited cry of another beautiful perfect baby girl. The first cry of a baby is one that I will never hear without a rush of emotions and tears streaming down my own cheeks. In fact, as Cory went over to look at her and be with her, the anesthesiologist brushed my tears away. Then from there, everything just seems to be so surreal. Seeing her for the first time, holding her, nursing her, looking at her little feet and hands, touching her hair, and kissing her little cheeks. It just never gets old. The excitement and joy that you feel with your first baby is the same as it is with your fifth. She is a tiny little thing, weighing in at 6 lbs 1 oz and just like all of our other Mann girls (excluding Katelund) she came out with a full head of dark hair.

Bringing her home was so exciting. The girls L.O.V.E her, even and especially Hailey. I was so worried about her feeling jealous. She has had some moments where she has wanted attention but she doesn't take any of her feelings out on Makayla (unlike Katelund who totally took it out on Cloey...somethings never change) :). She wants to touch her, sit by her, kiss her, and she just squeals every time she is near her. It is so sweet. Life with four is good...very good. Yes, I've had some postpartum moments, especially with being frustrated with nursing (I have such a love hate relationship with nursing). All I will say about that on my blog is that I am so thankful for a pump. Yes, I'm being totally spoiled by my mother-in-law who just waits on me hand and foot....and yes, I'm a little bit nervous about how I will do it all when I'm left to do it on my own. But, other than that, I am doing great. I LOVE having a new baby in our home. I love having four beautiful girls (and one hot husband) on my bed giggling and playing together. But most of all, I LOVE knowing that this family thing is forever.

Our Staycation

2011-07-21T13:48:00.004-05:00

The weekend before Makayla's arrival, we had a family staycation. Last year when I helped decorate for my friend's daughters wedding, her husband gave our family a free night stay at the downtown Marriott where he is the general manager. Well, not only did we get a free night stay, he also TOTALLY spoiled us with the presidential suite. It was AMAZING!!!! The girls had their own room that was connected to the living area with a dining room table, kitchen area, sitting room, and a huge bathroom with a jacuzzi that could fit our entire family. Then Cory and I had our own huge room, king size bed and all. The cost of staying one night in the suite would be $1300!!! Obviously, this was a once in a life-time experience. :)

We left for downtown after the girls' swim meet on Saturday. The girls had no idea where we were going. The only thing that they knew was that I had packed each of us a suitcase and that we would be spending the night somewhere. They were so excited!! We arrived at the hotel around 3:30 and the manager on duty walked us up to the 13th floor where we had to have our "special card" to even get up to that floor. Once she opened the door to the suite, the girls jaws dropped to the floor. They were totally surprised and super excited. There were huge windows in each of the rooms that had the most incredible views of downtown and the Appalachian Mountains. It was incredible. We told the girls that the rest of the day we would spend doing whatever they wanted to do. We gave them a list of options and in the end they decided they wanted to play at the pool for a little bit then get dressed and walk to a favorite restaurant close by. Then take the electronic transit and go see a show at the imax theater. (we saw Born to Be Wild...it was SO GOOD!!!!). After we got back to the hotel after the show, we spent the rest of the night living in luxury. Joe, my friend's husband, even had a huge tray of fruits, candy bars, cookies, drinks, chips, etc sent up to our room. The girls took a bath in the jacuzzi and then spent the rest of the night watching tv in their king size bed while eating all sorts of junk until about 11 pm when they finally fell asleep. Hailey walked from room to room as excited as could be, ate a cookie and then fell right asleep in her pack and play. Although Cory and I enjoyed every moment together, I think our favorite part of the night was just watching the girls have so much fun. Closing my eyes for the night was very bitter sweet. I was exhausted and ready to go to sleep but I also knew that by closing my eyes that meant it would be over in the morning.

We woke up and enjoyed our free gourmet breakfast, got ready for church, and then made it just in time for our first meeting. All I could do was laugh when the girls' primary president told me that Katelund had laid out across all the chairs in her row during sharing time. Oops. Well, they may not have gotten a whole lot out of primary that week, but we will always remember the night we lived like royalty.

8 days...

2011-07-06T14:08:00.007-05:00

...until Makayla officially makes her entrance into this world. So what are we doing for the next 8 days? Well, other than swim team practice each day, a swim meet Saturday morning, followed by a totally fun "staycation" Saturday day/evening/night (more on that later), a dentist appointment for Katelund on Monday, a skate party for the girls on Wednesday, visiting teaching on Tuesday, Cory's mom coming in on Wednesday, and a baptism that I have been asked to speak at on Friday night...we are just anxiously waiting. :)

Here are some of the things we have been up to the last couple of days...

Since I didn't have any cute 4th of July dresses for the girls to wear on Sunday, I decided to really outdo myself with some awesome hair-do's.

Each week I have the girls help me with some kind of organizational project. This week Katelund wanted to organize the fridge (my least favorite job). She was so cute about it. She wanted to put all of the glass containers on one shelf, all the plastic on another shelf, and everything else on the bottom. I was so impressed at the end result. It looked way better than it ever does when I do it. For convenience reasons, I'm not sure if I really like all the glass jars on the middle shelf but there is NO way that I'm going to change it.

This last weekend I got a baby stroller at a garage sale. It was the best thing I've ever bought for $2. Hailey pushes baby dolls around in it all day and when she's not, Cloey loves to push her "baby doll" around in it which couldn't make Hailey any happier.

Being Still In the Busyness

2011-06-23T08:47:00.002-05:00

This summer has been anything but still. We have been on the go 24/7. As the days quickly go by, I wonder where all the time is going. School is only a month and a half away, Katelund's baptism is right around the corner, and Makayla Claire will be here in three short weeks. In all the busyness, I am so thankful for the moments that I have had this week to just be still.

I have been still as I have sat outside alone on the driveway just to watch the magic of a summer night as the fireflies dance around and as the warm gentle breeze blows the lush green leaves on our trees. I have been still as I have laid in bed just a little bit longer wrapped up in Cory's arms as we enjoyed a moment alone while the sun made its way over the horizon. I have been still as I have snuggled up with my girls and read books with them on a rainy afternoon. I have been still as I held Hailey in my arms the other night and rocked her to sleep. I have been still as I read scriptures last night to the girls and got all emotional as the Spirit bore witness to me once again of the truthfulness and power of the Book of Mormon.

These moments of being still have reminded me of what summer is all about, what life is all about. Doctor appointments, dentist appointments, swim team, grocery shopping, visiting teaching, service opportunities, play dates...all these things are important and good, but moments of stillness when I remember who I am and who I want to become, who my children are, in my eyes and in the Lord's, it is then that I remember how important it is to just be still and know that He is God. And when I remember that, somehow the stillness seems to stay in my heart, even through all the busyness.

Moments That Matter Most

2011-06-16T15:41:00.002-05:00

Okay, seriously this is the BEST video ever...and it even uses my favorite quote!!! Love it, love it, love it!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Tasha for letting me know about it.

32

2011-06-16T07:30:00.006-05:00

Today is the big 32 for my oldest sister Andrea (the one in the middle). If you were to meet me and my two sisters you would realize pretty quickly that we are all VERY different from each other. We have completely different personalities and different opinions and ideas, and yet, we are still great friends. I couldn't imagine my life without my sisters. They are both AMAZING and I'm really not just saying this to be nice or to sound humble, but they outshine me MAJORLY!!! They run circles around me when it comes to smarts and talents. Andrea is very much like my Dad and Katie is very much like my mom. So where did I come from? Not sure. :) But, nonetheless, I feel so completely BLESSED to be surrounded by such an incredible family.

For Andrea's birthday shout out, I had to do something that fit her which meant that I had to keep it simple. No long cheesy letters or anything like that, instead I am going to list 32 words that come to my mind when I think of her.

Here I go....

1. analytical
2. planner
3. organizer
4. creative
5. inventive
6. practical
7. realist
8. thoughtful
9. loyal
10. honest
11. beautiful
12. dependable
13. overachiever
14. smart
15. logical
16. fun
17. humorous
18. compassionate
19. charitable
20. merciful
21. leader
22. trustworthy
23. integrity
24. inspiring
25. determined
26. independent
27. sensible
28. precise
29. loving
30. genuine
31. talented
32. AMAZING!!!!!!

Whew, that was really hard for me to not expound on each one.

Love you big sister, you mean the world to me!!!!

More Birthday Shout Outs

2011-06-15T16:17:00.005-05:00

June is seriously the month of birthdays and celebrating. All in the same week is Amber's birthday, my mom's birthday, my youngest sister, Katie's birthday, and my oldest sister, Andrea's birthday, and then to top it all of at the end of the week is Father's Day. Crazy, right? I'm not sure I'd want to spend my birthday delivering a baby, but I've never heard my mom mention a word of complaint. I guess it is like the ultimate gift, but the process to get it? Not so much of a celebration. :)

So here is my birthday shout-out to my wonderful mother and little sister, Katie who share a birthday today!!!!

B....beautiful. I have always thought that my mom was beautiful. She always looks like she just stepped out of a salon. But, she is also incredibly beautiful on the inside.

E...exact. Whatever she says is what she does. She is a genuine person and the most loyal friend anyone could ever have. She is exact in her obedience and honesty. She doesn't waver or sit on the fence about things. She knows what is right and she lives exactly in line with those values. She is the perfect example to me of someone with integrity.

C...capable. One of the things I love about my mom is that she is seriously super woman. She can do anything. I love when she comes to my home to visit or help out after a baby because I know that everything will run in perfect order. She is also one of the cleanest people I know. She keeps her home in immaculate condition AND she can fix almost everything ( I SO did not inherit this from her!!!).

K...kind. She has such a huge heart. Once you are her friend, you are her friend for life. Not only is she kind to her friends but also to strangers, and to those who are unkind to her or her daughters. One of the greatest lessons my mom taught me as a teenager was how to forgive and love somebody who definitely did not show any love in return.

Y...yearning. She is always yearning to be better and do better in every aspect of her life. She constantly yearns to be a better mother, daughter, sister, wife, and friend. I LOVE this about her!

.....................................

K...Kind. No, there are not a lot of K adjectives, but I couldn't think of a better one to describe Katie...even if I already used it for my mom. She is kind to not only people but also to animals. She was always the animal lover in our home. She was always wanting to adopt/rescue any stray dog that passed by our house.

A...aligned. She is and always was aligned with the teachings of the gospel and with the rules and expectations of my parents. I can't even think of one time that Katie did something to disappoint my parents. She was and continues to be such a great example to me.

T...talented. Oh my how talented this girl is!! I love to listen to her play the viola. She has had so many wonderful experiences and opportunities to share her talent with others. She played with the traveling BYU orchestra and she has also had the chance to play with operas, special recitals, elite orchestra groups, etc.

I...intelligent. Not only is she talented but she is also very smart. Getting into the music program at BYU, and graduating from it, is NOT an easy thing. she has always been a very good student and has always made really good choices.

E...extra miler. One of the things that I LOVE about Katie is her desire to go the extra mile. Growing up, I always remember Katie going above and beyond on every single assignment she was given at school. She would be asked to write a one page paper and she would end up with five pages and then have her paper bound. She was always doing things like this. I'm sure her teachers loved her... I know we all did.

A Birthday Shout Out

2011-06-14T10:13:00.006-05:00

The above picture was taken a couple of years ago when I went out to Las Vegas (without any children) to spend some time with my sister-in-law, Amber. We had SO MUCH FUN!!! We spent a day at a spa where we exercised, swam, got massages, soaked in the hot tub, and then let out some major sweat in the sauna. It was such a great day. The whole visit was one that I'll always cherish. You see, Amber and I go way back to high school. Before there was Cory, there was Amber. She was my best friend. One of the greatest friends I have ever had. When I married Cory, not only did my dream come true of marrying him, but also the dream of having my best friend as my sister.

So for her 29th birthday I am going to list the top 29 things she has taught me through the years....
29. how to love licorice
28. how to highlight hair
27. how to drive a standard (well, maybe not successfully)
26. how to jet ski in her cul-de-sac (don't even ask)
25. how to work on Harry Hines
24. how to cliff jump at Possum Kingdom
23. how to sneak around with a secret boyfriend (and your parents still think you were perfect...LOL!!)
24. how to eat the biggest hamburger EVER!
23. how to put some serious food down and yet stay a size 0 (okay, so I haven't actually accomplished this one on my own)
22. how to love Olive Garden
21. how to be the most loyal friend ever
20. how to buy matching clothes with your best friend (what dorks we were!)
19. how to fix the problem of a sheer yellow dress at youth conference (need I say more?)
18. how to "like" a guy from Garland just because I want you to double date with me (remember Tyler?)
17. how to talk back to a policeman after getting pulled over on our way home from EFY
16. how to always have a spare key on hand just in case I locked myself out of my car AGAIN
15. how to sneak off campus just to go to lunch with me (man, you were a naughty girl)
14. how to be the most loyal friend ever
13. how to make me laugh until I pee
12. how to love your family (you are the most incredible sister EVER!!!)
11. how to honor your parents
10. how to do hard things (like the triathalon you did this year)
9. how to work hard and follow your dreams (swimming all those years and then swimming for BYU)
8. how to serve others so willingly
7. how to be thoughtful (you are always doing and thinking of things to do for others)
6. how to throw a party
5. how to make and create the cutest things ever
4. how to inspire others
3. how to forgive
2. how to comfort and sustain others
1. how to overcome (cancer...to just name one)

I love you Amber, Happy Birthday!!!

Have you heard this song?

2011-06-10T13:42:00.002-05:00

Click here to listen to one of my new favorite songs. My little sister, Katie, is an AMAZING viola player (she just graduated from BYU as a music major)!! This song totally reminds me of her. I could listen to it over and over. Hope you enjoy!

A "Keeping it Real" Post

2011-06-09T10:01:00.005-05:00

I once had someone ask me how I find the time to blog. Well, I make the time. I do it when Hailey is sleeping and my girls are occupied (or when they're in school) because I have found that blogging has become a creative outlet for me, a way for me to express myself through words. I don't blog for comments (although I love to read them) and I don't blog to just record events, trips, or birthdays. I blog to tell a story, to tell a story about who I am so that one day my children will go back and read about who I was as a mother and what things mattered the most to me. In telling my story, I try to keep it as real as possible. It is easy to create an image of yourself through social media, to create somebody that maybe you would like to be or that you would like others to see you as. I hope that in my writing that my girls, and anyone else who may read my words, will know that I struggled. I want them to know that I had bad days and hard times and that life was not always easy. I want them to know that I had many many weaknesses and shortcomings but that I was always trying to be and do better. That is all any of us can do, because obviously perfection is not only a life-long process, but also requires lots of mercy and grace by a loving and perfect Savior.

With that being said....today I am going to do a "keeping it real" post.

Being pregnant with my fifth baby has not been easy for me. I have struggled with a lot of different things, emotionally and physically. But mostly, I have just felt fear. I have been afraid of many things; what others may think, how I am going handle one more teenage girl, how we can afford another child, how can I give the attention that my older girls need when I have two babies to care for, and to top it all off I continue to have nightmares about another one of my children dying. I have fought against a lot of feelings of inadequacy, fear, and feeling completely overwhelmed and under qualified. For some women, four children is no big deal. They could handle twelve children and still look amazing all the time and have a perfectly organized and clean home. I know many of those women, in fact, I am friends with way too many of those women. :) I am very aware of my own limitations, which is why I have struggled with these feelings.

Yesterday, in my morning prayers I prayed that these feelings would leave me and be replaced with feelings of excitement, anticipation, and joy. Then I went on with my day. At the swimming pool I was confronted by two women (who I didn't know) who wanted to know why on earth I would want to have another baby and how was I going to handle two so close together. As I assured them that I really was excited, I prayed once again in my heart that what I was saying could really be completely honest and true. Later that day my prayer was answered in a very simple, yet miraculous way.

I ran into the grocery store really quickly to grab a couple of things. I was in a hurry so I really wasn't focusing on anything or anyone, just the need to get in and out. As I was walking up to the u scan line, I was caught off guard. There at the checkout line was a mother with a brand new baby. He was crying. I could tell that she was flustered and in a hurry to pay and get out of the store. As I heard that brand new little baby cry, something happened inside of me. All of the sudden I was fighting back emotions that I had yearned to feel. I wanted to just sit there and listen to him cry. His crying was my answer. I know that sounds really weird and it seems weird to even type it out, but in that moment I received exactly what I had been asking for. The excitement, anticipation, and overwhelming joy rushed into my heart. The mother left before I did. I quickly rushed out of the store and found her in the parking lot. I don't know why, but I just needed to thank her. To thank her for being in the store at that exact moment with her hungry precious little baby boy. I told her a little about what I had experienced as I heard her baby's cry. I'm sure that she thought I was crazy, but I didn't even care. I just had to share my experience with someone. The amazing thing is that those feelings have stayed with me. I wish I could say that the fear is completely gone but it's not. It may not be for a couple of years. :) But, I can deal with those feelings a lot better when I feel the joy and excitement that is growing within me. And for now, that is all I need.

Summer Plans

2011-06-08T10:51:00.013-05:00

There is a reason that we took our summer vacation the two days after the girls were out of school. It is because our summer is packed full! Not only are we gearing up for another little baby girl next month, we are also spending everyday at the pool for swim team practice. We decided that since we were going to be up there everyday anyways, that we would just go ahead and buy a summer membership to the pool and spend even more time there. I just can't think of a better way to spend the record-breaking hot and humid Southern summer days.

We started off the summer with a great family night were we all made summer goals and set down some rules, assignments, and expectations. So far, it has gone well. I had some ideas that were probably a little too big and I have had to simplify a little (I am so exhausted by the end of the day, I am just doing the most essential things right now). So here are some of our summer goals/expectations for the girls...

1. S.O.S (scriptures over screen time). A lady in our ward made this up for her kids, and I LOVED it!! Each morning the girls have to read from their scriptures (me or Katelund read to Cloey out of a Book of Mormon reader), say their prayers, and have their room and bathroom clean before they can go to swim team or get on the computer, turn on cartoons, etc. It has worked out GREAT!!! The habit has been made and they don't even have to be reminded anymore.

2. We have a family goal to not let a day go by this summer without having family scripture study before bed. Family prayers are easy for us, it is the family scripture study that sometimes gets neglected in our home.

3. D.E.A.R everyday at 1 pm. (Drop Everything and Read). We are going to the library every Thursday so the girls have new books to read. I LOVE this time of day!!!! For every one hundred pages that the girls read on their own to me (we keep track with jars, skewers (1 for every 10 pages), and toothpicks (1 for every page up to ten....working on those 1st grade math skills at the same time), they get to take a trip to the dollar store and pick out a prize.

4. As far as chores go, they are responsible for helping as needed. They fold clothes, switch over laundry, do the dishes, sweep the floors, take the trash out, etc. If I were really good, I would do what my friend Melanie does (click here to be totally amazed!). Maybe next summer.

5 Incorporate math skills whenever and wherever possible...in the car, at mealtimes, in random conversations, etc. Math has never been a strong area for me, so I'm determined to help my girls feel more confident in it than I ever did. Katelund and I are working on memorizing multiplication and Cloey and I are working on addition and subtraction. I initially was going to spend time with them individually everyday doing math together (making up worksheets, fun projects, etc) but, it has only happened a couple of days. It is one of those big ideas that has been simplified (that seems to happen a lot in my life lately).

Between chasing Hailey around, driving to and from swim team practice, the library, the park, the pool, maintaining a somewhat clean/organized home, and being completely exhausted carrying around a baby in my belly, I am just trying to enjoy my summer and more importantly, enjoy my sweet little girls who are growing up way too quickly.

Cloey loves to go around the house and take pictures with my phone. She took this one yesterday and I just had to post it, even though it is blurry and not very good, because it gives you an idea of how I look these days...pregnant with a baby on my hip. :)

Here is one she took of my baby belly.

Here are the girls during D.E.A.R time one day.

Myrtle Beach Vacation 2011

2011-06-07T15:03:00.001-05:00

May Catch-up

2011-06-02T19:23:00.006-05:00

May went by so quickly! It was full of end-of-school parties, doctor appointments, the best date ever, a day at the carnival, and it ended with a bang...a vacation to Myrtle Beach. Myrtle Beach deserves its own post...so those pics will be coming shortly, but meanwhile, here are some other pic updates.

I just had to include these adorable pictures of Hailey in her baby doll's crib rocking her and her baby. She LOVES her baby dolls.

Hailey LOVES to climb up anything and everything. I was totally shocked the other week when I found her up on the counter after I left the kitchen for like 1 minute. She is fast and fearless and definitely keeping me on my toes.

My sweet friend dropped off these beautiful gladiolas because she knows how much I LOVE them!! I think they are so beautiful and elegant. I seriously wish I could grow them in my yard year round so that I could always have a fresh cut bouquet on my kitchen table.

Hailey's favorite part of the carnival....cotton candy.

Yes, I am excited!

2011-05-25T09:27:00.002-05:00

Last night as I was checking out at Walgreens, the cashier sat and stared at me for a couple of seconds and then said (in a very judgmental and not very nice way), "and how old is your baby?" (I was holding Hailey in my arms.) I told her that she was a year old (I should have told her that she was 15 months). She then said, "well....they are going to be pretty close together, don't you think??" At this point, I was fighting back every urge in my body to not just leave my groceries and walk out of the store. But, I took a deep breath and remembered the advice that my friend told me the other day. I then put a smile on my face and said, "Yes they will, and I am very excited." She looked at me very confused and said, "You're excited?" I then reassured her that I was and decided to totally shock her by telling her that in less than 2 months I will have 4 little girls running around and how much fun it will be. She softened up a little and I guess decided that if I was excited about it then it was okay.

I cannot even tell you the kind of looks that I get from people as I walk in somewhere with three girls, one who is very much still a baby (and is small for her age anyways), and a very obvious pregnant belly. It is not like I live in Utah where big families are the norm, I live in a part of the country where a family with three kids is considered a big family. I am really glad that I cannot hear what people are thinking, but sometimes it is as if I can just by the expression on their face. Does it bother me? Somedays. Somedays I look at myself in the mirror with the same expression. But most of the time, I just feel grateful and happy. Years from now when the crazy stage of two little ones close together finally settle down and I have four beautiful girls who will mean everything to me and who will give me beautiful grandchildren, it will all be worth it.

It is all worth it and yes, Mrs. Cashier at Walgreens, I really am excited (and nervous and scared out of my mind) :)

Women in the Storm

2011-05-21T11:46:00.010-05:00

After the tornado that hit our area a couple of weeks ago, the stories began to be told. Some stories were amazing and heroic, such as the little boy who saved his little baby brother or the teenager who lost his life in order to save his sibling's. But then there were other stories, ones that were tragic and heartbreaking. One such story happened to a little family. The mother, father, and son had all gathered into a little closet because it was the safest room in their house. Once gathered, the mother decided to leave the closet in order to check out the window. While she was out of the closet, a huge tree fell on their house and killed her instantly.
When I first heard this story, my heart just broke for this little family. What a tragic way to lose your mother and wife.

This morning as I was at the church helping with cleaning, I talked for awhile with a man whom I have met before when I was serving in YWs. Their family has not been attending our church for years. Each time that I went to their house or called on the phone, I did not get a very warm response, especially from him. But today it was different, he was different. He was warm and kind and very humble. I asked him how his family was doing and if they had any damage from the storms. He then told me that they didn't have damage from the tornado, but they did from another storm. His family had been ripped apart because of some bad choices that his wife had made. Just as the previous story, it is now just him and his son trying to pick up and move forward.

These stories have so much in common to me. Each of them about a woman who chose to leave her "place of security". Each of them thinking, at least initially, that what they were doing was harmless, but eventually it led to a disaster and a family torn in half. Thankfully, for each of these families there is still hope and a chance for a joyous reunion once again.

There are so many distractions and so many messages being sent to women about what they should or shouldn't be doing with their time and with their role as women, mothers, and wives. The storms and winds of anti-family and anti-Christ doctrines are intense and blowing at an ever-increasing rate. How grateful I am for a living prophet who knows exactly where we should be in order to keep ourselves and our families safe.

My sister-in-law sent me this amazing quote today by Elder Ballard that reminded me of the importance of those small decisions that I make daily, even the decisions of where my heart is and what words are coming from my mouth.

“Every sister who stands for truth and righteousness diminishes the influence of evil. Dear sisters, every one of you who strengthens and protects your family is doing the work of God. Every sister who lives as a woman of God becomes a beacon for others to follow and plants seeds of righteous influence that will be harvested for decades to come. Every sister who makes and keeps sacred covenants becomes an instrument in the hands of God.

I have been drawn to an interchange between God the Father and His Elder and Only Begotten Son, who is the ultimate example of living up to one’s premortal promises. When God asked who would come to earth to prepare a way for all mankind to be saved and strengthened and blessed, it was Jesus Christ who said, simply, ‘Here am I, send me’ (Abraham 3:27).

Just as the Savior stepped forward to fulfill His divine responsibilities, we have the challenge and responsibility to do likewise. If you are wondering if you make a difference to the Lord, imagine the effect when you make such commitments as the following,

‘Father, if you need a woman to rear children in righteousness, Here am I, send me.’

‘If you need a woman to make a house a home filled with love, Here am I, send me.’

‘If you need a woman who will shun vulgarity and dress modestly and speak with dignity and show the world how joyous it is to keep the commandments, Here am I, send me.’

‘If you need a woman who can resist alluring temptations of the world by keeping her eyes fixed on eternity, Here am I, send me.’

‘Between now and the day the Lord comes again, He needs women in every family, in every ward, in every community, in every nation who will step forward in righteousness and say by their words and their actions, ‘Here am I, send me.’”

The Ice Cream Solution

2011-05-20T10:06:00.006-05:00

For about a month now, we have had the ice cream truck singing its notorious tune through our neighborhood. The second the tune is heard I have screaming little girls who are rushing around trying to gather up enough money to buy their favorite cotton candy ice cream bar. Now as much as I love their excitement, I don't love my children to use their money everyday or eat ice cream every single day. It was starting to become an issue. I decided that they could only get it every once in awhile and then I would try to vaccum or mow the lawn around the time the truck would be coming so that they wouldn't hear it. (I know, I know, what a mean mom I am!!)

But the ultimate solution came on Monday. I had decided to let the girls get ice cream as long as they put it in the freezer and saved it for their family night treat. They excitedly agreed and then went about frantically gathering up their coins. I usually always go out there with them to buy it but this time Cory was home and so he went out (you just never know who is driving those trucks, you know?!) About 3 minutes later, he was calling for me at the door and laughing hysterically. The ice cream man [actually it's a woman] had literally turned the truck off because my girls had all of their pennies dumped out on the driveway as they were each trying to count off 100 pennies. After we laughed about it, we thought for a second (and only a second) that we should go and help them. But, then we thought again. Maybe our girls would be so bad for business because of how long it took them to count out their money that the ice cream truck would just skip by our neighborhood....or maybe the thought was too good to be true...but either way we decided to just let them do it on their own. It would be good for them, and maybe even good for us. :)

It is now Friday. So far this week.....no notorious tune, no ice cream, and no pennies. But plenty of screaming and excitement.

Problem solved.

random thoughts and happenings

2011-05-16T15:23:00.005-05:00

**So this week was round 2 of church without Cory (he was out of town). After last week's experience, I was a little nervous. But, it went great. I don't know what my problem was last week. I don't know if it was just that I brought more stuff for Hailey, made the girls go to bed earlier on Saturday night, or was just in a better mood myself. Whatever it was, it worked and my girls were amazing. I actually had to teach two lessons yesterday. I teach the 14 and 15 year old Sunday School class, but I was also asked to teach in RS. I have never taught in Relief Society, and I see why now. I'm not so good at it. I can teach children or youth all day long, but adult women who have lots of comments to make? I'm not so good at that. I had prepared WAY too much material and ended up with only 15 minutes to teach. I think I crammed in way too much and had a hard time transitioning from comments, etc, etc. It is just not as easy as it looks. It was way easier teaching at that women's conference than it was to teach a 15 minute RS lesson. I guess if I ever get asked to do it again, I'll just prepare for like 5 minutes and then I'll be good.

**This is the last official week of school. Next week they go to school for one day. Wierd, I know. Katelund has no homework this week and I think I am more excited than she is!!! I love to let my kids come home from school and just play outside until dinner time. That is how it should be.

**I have to drive to Fayetteville to go to court next week because I got a ticket when I was there last month for an expired registration. I have got my tags all registered but there is NO WAY that they will accept a faxed over copy of my new tags. SERIOUSLY??!!! I have to drive 9 hours (with gas at $3.79/gallon) to show up at court and get my ticket dismissed OR I could just pay $186 ($25 for registration fee and the rest in court fees.....WHAT??? I wouldn't even go to court!!!! I'm so irritated about this. I seriously think it is totally dishonest and it makes me furious!!! I have tried talking to court clerks but I seriously think they are the rudest people I have ever talked to on the phone.

**Cory flew out to Florida to help a friend this last weekend. To say thanks, his friend let him borrow his Harley for a while. He is seriously in heaven! Tonight he took me and the girls (obviously not Hailey) on rides around our neighborhood. It was so much fun!!

**Did you know that they now make Crystal Light with caffeine??!! What is up with that? Cory and I have almost completely stopped drinking soda (we decided to give it up as a New Year's Resolution) We do splurge every once in awhile but mostly we just drink water, so Crystal Light has become a favorite thing with us. Recently I noticed they had grape flavored. Since Cory loves grape gatorade, and since it said "energy" on the box, I thought it would be a great thing to buy in the water bottle packets while he has been out working on tornado clean-up. I thought the "energy" must be some new research about grapes being a "super power fruit" or something like that. Nope. About a week later (after falling in love with it and giving my children sips and everything), Cory noticed that it had caffeine in it. Crazy right? Who wants caffeine in their water???? So now we buy the Great Value brand because it doesn't have caffeine.

**I made fruit pizza tonight for our FHE treat. It was SO DELICIOUS!!! I think it is my favorite dessert ever!! There are lots of recipes out there but I just like it simple....1 package sugar cookie dough for the crust, 8 oz fat free cream cheese (fat free is just as good) mixed with 1 cup of powdered sugar for the icing, and cut up strawberries, kiwi, and banana on top. YUMMY!!!!!

Recent phone pics of Hailey

2011-05-11T10:26:00.005-05:00

Before you focus your attention on my beautiful baby (who is now 15 months and I guess considered a toddler now), I have a very important question that is just really weighing on my mind this morning.

Why does crunching on ice give me heart burn??!!! It is an obsession I have while pregnant (crunching ice...but not just any ice...ice that has been sitting in my cup for at least 30 minutes with water and has started the melting process which has made it easier to crunch. It is seriously like my favorite treat ever, and then the second I have my baby the joy of it will be completely gone.)

One of her favorite things to do is to get into the pantry, climb up the shelf, pull down the cereal box, take the bag out, and carry it around with her all over the house while she eats it.

This picture was taken the other day after a walk we went on. It was seriously so hot and humid that day. I tried to get a shot of the back of her head, but she wouldn't hold still long enough. Her hair was completely drenched in the back from sweat.

These pics were taken at Cloey's Mother's Day picnic for school.

Motherhood...It was the Worst of Times and the Best of Times

2011-05-09T07:36:00.005-05:00

It is a good thing that I didn't write a Mother's Day post yesterday at about 2 pm. If I had, it probably would've gone something like this...

Dear Whoever Invented Mother's Day,

Why did you even bother?!?!

Sincerely,
The Worst Mother of the Day

Fortunately, it ended WAY better than it began. Let me explain...

I think my children were out to get me yesterday. Let me paint you the ugly picture... it is one minute before church is starting, and Katelund is at the end of the pew pouting because she wants one of the lemon heads that she saw in my purse as she was digging through it looking for crayons and I had told her no. Cloey is hyper and all over the chapel saying hi to all of her friends and totally ignoring me when I tell her to quietly sit down on the bench. Hailey is beyond tired since it is right in the middle of nap time and so she is throwing an ear-piercing-screaming fit because I am trying to take the little bag of cereal away from her because church hasn't even started and the cereal is supposed to keep her distracted during the meeting. In the process of me trying to take the bag away, Cloey finally comes over and starts fighting with Katelund because she wants to sit down next to her but her feet are in the way. As I turn to give them the "you better stop fighting right now" look, Hailey pulls the bag away from my grip and the cereal flies all over the aisle. I am trying to calm her down, bend over my huge baby belly to pick cereal up, and control the situation between my daughters who seemed to have it out for each other since the moment they woke up.

Where is Cory you ask? Oh ya, all the men in our ward went to a short 7 o'clock meeting (so they could take the sacrament) and were then divided up into their work crews and sent out to continue the tornado clean-up. Don't get me wrong, I am all about Cory out there working and helping. He has been doing it non-stop for the last 2 weeks and I have been amazed as I have watched him so willingly come home from work and go right back out to work until sunset. He is incredible and I love him for his big heart. But, I'm not going to lie. It wasn't easy to kiss him goodbye knowing that I would be spending most of Mother's Day alone.

The beginning picture I painted you, only got worse as the meeting went on. In fact, at one point, Katelund leaned over to me and said, "I didn't know you were such a mean mom on Mother's Day." I couldn't even say anything back. All I wanted to do was to break down and cry. After about 20 minutes, I took all my girls out into the foyer and did just that...cried. I finally got control, listened to what I could of the rest of the meeting, and then gladly sent my girls off to primary. By the time I was in Relief Society, I was just trying to hold myself together. The RS president asked everyone to scoot in and sit closer to one another. Since I was already near the front and all of my stuff was already being scattered by Hailey, I just stayed where I was. So everyone got up and sat down next to each other....oh wait, except for on my row. No one sat by me. On any other day, I would've cared less. I would've been looking for who needed someone to sit by them. But not yesterday. Yesterday, I needed someone to sit by me. Someone to tell me that it would all be okay. But no one came. About half way through the lesson, Hailey started doing her little excited screams and I think it was bothering the lady in front of me. So I left. I grabbed all of my stuff and made it out the door just in time for me to completely lose it. I was sobbing. All I wanted to do was get my girls and go home. Then my angel came. My sweet friend and visitng teacher was walking down the hallway. She got my girls for me and met me at my car. My other angel, the primary president, came out to my car as well. We buckled everyone in, shut the door, and I just poured my heart out to them. They listened, they laughed, they empathized, and they said all the things that I needed to hear, and even offered to take Katelund and Cloey for a couple of hours so that me and Hailey could take a nap.

Later that afternoon, I got my nap, I got my husband back, I got an amazing pedicure, dinner, and a gift card to Charming Charlies's. My children were sweet again and everything was perfect. I learned something about myself from this Mother's Day (which is why this post has turned into a novel). I learned that I would NEVER want to do this mothering thing alone. First and foremost, I would never want to do it without Cory. He knows exactly what to say and do (after 11 years, he has learned a lot) :) . He seriously completes me in every way (cheesy, but oh so true). Secondly, I could never do it without the support and love of other mothers. I need to know that I am not the only mother who has wanted to lock my children in a room and let them fight it out. I need to know that I am not the only pregnant mother who is wondering what on earth I was thinking and how am I ever going to manage four of them. And I also need to know that at the end of the day, I can still call my own Mommy and know that she will make everything better.

This whole mothering thing is definitely not easy. The title of mother comes with a lot of pain, frustration, sacrifice, disappointment, heartache, and even sorrow. But, there is just nothing in the world that compares to the sweet rewards and compensation that comes in those precious moments when you look into your children's sweet faces and somehow you can see the big picture. It is in those moments that you know it is all worth it. Yesterday those moments didn't come until the end of the day, but oh how they came. They came in moments when I wasn't expecting it. One of those moments came as Cloey was saying our family prayer as she kneeled at her bed. In the middle of the prayer, she began to talk with an English accent like Cory had been doing earlier when he was reading them Harry Potter. I couldln't help but let out a little laugh and an even bigger smile. The other moment came as Katelund told me that the crystal that she got on her field trip reminded her of me because I am always teaching her to be clean and pure like the temple. And the final moment came as I laid Hailey in her bed, kissed her sweet little cheek, and stood there for a couple of seconds as she stared up at me with her angelic little eyes as if she was promising me that it really is all worth it. It is in theses moments when the Spirit permeates my heart and leaves me with an overwhelming amount of love for these little monsters that make huge messes, and yet, always find a way to fill my heart to overflowing.

Trying to not be irritable...

2011-05-06T10:44:00.004-05:00

One of the worst things about "pregnant me" is that I get so irritable so easily. I don't know why. Well, I do. I'm sure it has a lot to do with hormones and all that stuff, but it is really annoying. I hate it when I feel irritable, and I really have to fight it like crazy when I'm pregnant. Here are some of the things that have caused me to to be irritable lately....

So I totally went back and deleted my list. It was horrible and I was so embarrassed after I wrote it. So, obviously this post was just what I needed to get over myself.

Highlights

2011-05-04T07:26:00.003-05:00

Yes, I do need to get my roots rehighlighted (now I remember why I hate highlights in my hair) But, that is actually not what I meant by the title. The last week has been really packed and full of many things, so instead of trying to cover it all, I will just give you some of the highlights...the moments that mattered.

*A dinner fireside with Chad Lewis (you know, the BYU football player who played NFL for 7 years and won 2 super bowls and is now the athletics director for BYU?) He came to our town to be the special guest for a BYU alumni group that Cory and I have become involved in. Every year this alumni group earns tens of thousands of dollars for all the students in our stake who go to BYU, BYU-Idaho, or BYU-Hawaii. This year $32,000 was earned...pretty amazing, right?!! Anyways, there were about 30 guests at the dinner. It was such an INCREDIBLY uplifting experience. Wow, he is such an amazing guy with such an incredibly strong spirit about him. He talked about his experiences in the NFL and how he kept himself from the filth that was all around him. It was very inspiring.

*Attending the Atlanta rededication on Sunday. It was AMAZING!!! I've actually never been part of a temple dedication. I loved it!!! Elder Ballard and President Monson gave such beautiful talks!! They bore testimony with such power and conviction of eternal families. Thankfully, we had some good friends of ours who watched our girls so that Cory and I could go together. It just wouldn't have been the same experience without Cory sitting right next to me. I wish I could go back and re experience the whole thing again.

*Being able to see a community come together in service and love. There is just nothing in the world as wonderful as working side by side with brothers and sisters in and out of the church who come together with a common purpose. National disasters are chaotic and horrible, but the humbling effect it has on a people is so incredible to watch. People are more grateful, humble, kind, and gentle everywhere you go. Yesterday as I waited in the doctor's office, I was so touched by the scene that I witnessed. There was a lady in the room who was sharing her scary experience with the tornado with the lady next to her. As she spoke, everyone in the doctor's office was intently listening in solitude and reverence to each word that came out of her mouth. It was not the normal scene. Usually, there is a room clear full of people who are either talking/texting on their phones, reading a magazine, or working on their computer/other electronic gadget. All of the sudden none of that seemed to matter. What mattered was the story that this sweet old lady had to tell. A story of struggle, humility, gratitude, and answered prayers.

*The death of Bin Laden. I have mixed emotions about this. I am sad for him. Sad at what he did with his life. Sad that he never changed. Sad that he chose to hurt, murder, and torture instead of using all of his wealth and influence for good. I am happy that there is one less wicked person on the earth, but not because I feel like justice has finally come. As they have searched for him for the last ten years, I wanted them to find him so that he would be stopped, not so that they could take his life because he took so many others. There is no possible way that justice could be fulfilled by taking his life. But, I don't worry about that. I know that when he stands before the judgement bar of God, he will be held accountable for the crimes that he committed, as will Hitler and Saddam Hussein. Justice will come for them, just as it will come for each of us. But again, I'm happy. Happy that there is one less wicked man and hopefully hundreds of millions of others who will commit to living with more mercy, love, forgiveness, and hope for mankind.

*And of course I couldn't exclude the moments of motherhood. The small and simple moments each day that give meaning and purpose to my life. The hugs before and after school, the giggles that fill our home, walks to enjoy the blue skies, warm sun, and singing birds, the prayers that unite our family, the singing and testimony that fills our home on family night, and the running stampede that happens each morning as Hailey wakes up and we all fight to be the first one to see her smiling sweet face. And of course, the moment yesterday in the doctor's office when my heart filled with peace as I heard Makayla's heart beat on this 28th week...the week when Clairisa's heart beat stopped. These are all the moments that keep my heart joyfully beating each day.

The effects of a tornado...

2011-04-28T10:50:00.008-05:00

As a 12 year old girl, I still remember my mom urgently telling me and my sisters to grab an extra outfit and anything else we needed and to meet down in the room underneath of the stairs. A tornado warning was not an unusual thing in Texas, but this time for whatever reason, I remember it being more serious. I ran upstairs to my room and began sorting through all of my clothes. There was no way I was going to leave all of my favorites behind, so I didn't. I ran downstairs with arms full of my favorite clothes. I can only imagine what my mom was thinking.

Fast forward 5 years....when I was 17 years old, I went with my Dad and a whole bunch of other priesthood brethren to help with clean up after the huge tornado that hit Oklahoma City. I had never seen anything like it. I remember fighting back tears because I didn't want all the other boys and men to see them. I worked right along with them. It was very hard work and at the end of the day I wondered if we had even made any difference at all. We drove away leaving all of the damage behind us, but to this day, I can still remember walking through a field of debris and seeing a little girl's doll laying on the ground. I came home a different girl that day.

Fast forward 13 years....yesterday I spent the morning transforming our basement toy room into our tornado shelter room. It was filled with 72 hour kits, blankets, pillows, trash bags, food, lots of water, extra clothes, diapers, wipes, tennis shoes, candles, matches, flashlights, batteries, scriptures, important documents, etc. It was the only thing that I could do to prepare for the events that would follow. The first storm came through about mid-morning. The kids were all let out of school and the anxiety began to build as we watched and waited for the storms that were heading our way. Another storm came through at about 5ish and then the last final storm came in at about 7. I think it was the worst one. All though we felt somewhat safe and secure in our basement shelter, the feelings of anxiety and fear are very hard to shut out. The power went out about 5:30 and was off for the rest of the night.

The power came back on in the early morning hours and all seemed okay. Our neighborhood was untouched for the most part. It wasn't until Cory started making phone calls to members of the ward that we found out about all of the damage that surrounded us. We all loaded up in the car and drove about 5 minutes down the road. The pictures above are just snapshots of the harsh reality that faces us.

As a 12 year old little girl, the effects of a tornado were obviously not there. As a 17 year old teenager, I fought back tears of empathy and compassion as I saw what faced the people of Oklahoma City. This morning, as a 30 year old woman, tears freely streamed down my cheeks as I humbly witnessed the devastation of my community. The scary reality of what could have been. As I saw a woman standing amidst the rubble that was once her home, I felt so many emotions. Witnessing, first hand, the effects of a tornado is such an incredibly humbling experience. When I first talked to my mom this morning, we both just cried together. She told me that she just kept praying that the tornado would skip over our little neighborhood. Her prayer was answered. Many lifes are lost and homes are leveled within 5 miles of us in every direction.

So this morning as I laid Hailey down in her crib, kissed Cory goodbye as he left to go help clean up, and turned on the warm shower in my beautiful comfortable home, I felt so much gratitude, and also a little guilt. I yearn to be out there helping. I want to take that sweet lady into my home and feed her. I want to find that little girl all those years ago who lost her baby doll. But even more than that, I want to never forget. To never forget that these things around us that seem so essential and important, are just things. To never forget that in seconds we could lose almost everything, and to never forget that all I really need to make me happy and fulfilled were with me last night in that little basement shelter...three beautiful children, a very active baby in my tummy, and the love of my life. Not all the effects of a tornado are devastating. The unseen ones, the ones that can only be found in the deepest emotions of the heart and soul, are the ones that stay with you and hopefully change you.

Easter and a Birthday

2011-04-25T09:55:00.002-05:00

This year Cloey's birthday just happened to fall on Easter Sunday. For months, she has been so excited in knowing this. As the months became weeks and then days, I wondered how she was really going to feel about sharing her birthday with Easter. Cory and I decided to celebrate her birthday all weekend long. We let her choose whatever she wanted to do on Saturday, as a family. We did all of our chores on Friday (the girls were off of school) so that we wouldn't have to work Saturday. Cloey decided that she wanted to have a picnic at the park. She got to choose the menu and everything. It was a fabulous idea. The weather couldn't have been more perfect, the food was delicious, and the company was perfect. After the girls played their hearts out, we went to the store so that Cloey could buy a new pair of shoes. Then we went home and ate pizza for dinner while we watched the third Narnia movie together. Right before bed, Cory and I talked to Cloey about how special it was going to be for her to have her birthday on Easter. As Cory spoke to her about the importance and significance of Easter, I could tell that he had spoken directly to her heart, as well as mine. He is such an incredible daddy!

On Easter morning, we fixed Cloey her favorite breakfast, pancakes with strawberries and cool whip and sausage. Last Sunday right before we left for church, Hailey had somehow climbed up into the pantry and pulled down the cornstarch. It was a serious DISASTER!!! Well yesterday, she had a major blowout and as Cloey carried her to me and I lifted her into my arms, I noticed that Cloey had poop all over her shirt (the one that I had gotten to go with her cute little Easter skirt) and all over mine as well. Luckily Cloey had another shirt that matched the skirt and the disaster was averted. Church was amazing. Wonderful speakers, AMAZING musical performance, and I love teaching my new Sunday School class (a couple of weeks ago, I was asked to teach the 14 and 15 year old class instead of the 12 and 13 year olds). We finished the day with an Easter egg hunt for Cloey's birthday presents (I got some huge Easter eggs at Hobby Lobby to put them in) and all the other birthday stuff...favorite dinner on the Special plate (a tradition I grew up with), cake, singing, phone calls, pedicure from mommy, etc, etc.. And now, here are some pics from all the festivities...

A Baseball Game...The Perfect Remedy

2011-04-20T12:38:00.007-05:00

When Cory came home last night to a screaming Hailey, an upset Katelund, a whiny Cloey, and a wife who was seriously on the verge of insanity, he decided to do what any good husband would do. He hurried us through dinner, told us all to get loaded up in the van, and took us to a local minor league baseball game. We had such a great time!! An exhausting day ended perfectly.

Cory may not have any boys to play baseball with, but he has girls! Almost everyday he practices throwing, catching, and hitting with them in the backyard. It is really cute. We had a sports-themed Christmas so baseball mitts, bat, and ball were on his priority list. My list included a tennis racket and balls.

It's really hard to get pictures of Hailey these days. She is such a little busy body. She will not hold still for a second. The only time she will hold still is when she is being read to. She LOVES books!! Or when she's eating OR getting a foot massage (yes, I'm serious). So we spent a lot of time shoving food at her, reading to her, and massaging her feet and legs. Overall, she did pretty good for a 14 month old who does not want to sit still and watch a baseball game.

A battle I choose to fight...

2011-04-20T08:51:00.009-05:00

As a parent, there are so many MANY battles to fight. Daily battles of teaching your children to put their shoes away, get their homework done, clean up the table after dinner, go to bed, use their manners, etc, etc. The battles with Hailey are way less intense, yet still constant. No, you cannot walk around the store while I am grocery shopping, yes, you will take a nap, no, you cannot touch that or put this in your mouth, etc, etc. Fortunately, she cannot talk back yet. She may cry or throw a fit (like she did in Old Navy yesterday because she was SO OVER shopping) but at least the battles are short-lived. After fighting battles day after day and year after year, I have learned that there are some battles that are just not worth the fight. You want to wear WHAT to the grocery store? Fine. You aren't going to let me put that cute flower in your hair without pulling it out? Fine, no flower. You get that point, right?

On the other hand, there are some battles that I will fight to the death about. I will fight forever over the battle of school, learning, and reading. I will fight forever over the battle of reverence in church, regularly holding Family Home Evening, scripture study, and family prayer (the promises for those that do are too great to miss out on). I will also forever fight the battle of doing housework. If I don't teach my children how to work, then I will have failed them. There is also one other battle that I will fight to the death....the battle of modesty.

I choose to fight this battle for many reasons. I believe that dressing modestly will make a HUGE difference in their life because modest dress leads to modest behavior which in turn leads to a life of virtue. There is nothing more beautiful and admirable than a young women or older women who dresses modestly. There is a silent distinguishable confidence that radiates from within. This is something I want for my children. I wish that as a youth I had been more modest (not that my mom didn't fight this battle, because she definitely did) But, I know that I should have been better. I know that I can still be better and so can my girls. I think it is one of those things that you teach over and over and then you just pray that when they get to the age where they have to make their own choices, that the desire to be modest will be in their hearts. Sometimes I swear they grow over night and all of the sudden their favorite skirt that was nearly knee length has all the sudden become way too short.

As I was looking on Facebook yesterday, I was so disappointed to see some wonderful young women from my ward and wards past who chose to wear immodest dresses to prom. I used it as a teaching opportunity with my own girls. After I explained to them what prom was and why it is so important to be modest even if it is just one night, I then said, "Katelund and Cloey, I hope that when it is your turn to go to prom, that you will choose to wear a modest dress." Cloey then looks at me, totally stunned, and said, "You HOPE?? Of course we will dress modestly for prom, Mommy! Why wouldn't we?" No wonder we are to be as little children. When Cloey is 16, you better believe I will be reminding her of that exact conversation.

I know that this battle is easier to fight now and it will only get more intense (I SO remember those battle with my mom!) But, if I don't start fighting them now, in a couple of years it may be too late to begin the fight, especially in the world in which we live today.

FYI...if you haven't already seen it, you HAVE to watch the "195 dresses" Mormon Message on the lds.org website.

What about you? What battles do you choose to fight to the death?

Our Trip to Atlanta

2011-04-18T10:21:00.010-05:00

On Saturday we drove down to Atlanta for the temple open house. Atlanta is our temple, but for the last two years that we have lived here it has been under reconstruction, so we have been attending the Nashville temple. Cory and I were SO EXCITED to take our girls to the temple. In fact, as we were just minutes away, we were all singing together, "I love to see the temple, we're going there today...." It's what I always sing around the house on the days that I go the temple. I think Cory was mostly making fun of me, but whatever. :) He got just as emotional as I did as we pulled up in excitement and realized that this was the chance of a lifetime. The chance to teach our girls, first hand, the beauty and sacredness of the temple. The whole experience was AMAZING. The girls couldn't have been more excited to walk through those temple doors and know that they could actually see what was inside. They were so reverent and just tried to take it all in. Cory and I would take turns whispering in their little ears about the importance of particular rooms and then we would also bear testimony to them of what was being said by the tour guide.

The part that I was so excited about was the opportunity that I would have to show my girls the bride's room. It was actually not part of the tour, but as the rest of the group was at one end of the dressing room, I pulled my girls off to the other end so that they could see the bride's room. As I knelt down with them and we looked into that beautiful room together, I told them to imagine themselves in their beautiful white wedding dresses and then I explained to them how this is the special room where they will get to go on their wedding day. In here, they will primp and get all fixed up while I get to stare at them in the beautiful mirror and cry because of how excited I will be for them to be standing there in the temple, pure and clean, to be married for time and eternity. It was a sweet moment, one that I will never forget. I hope that they will remember it as well. That when times get hard for them in their teenage years, that they will be able to remember themselves as a little girl staring into that bridal room and imagining themselves standing there on that special day... beautiful, pure, and worthy.

After we left the temple, we spent the rest of the day exploring Atlanta. Cory took us to some of the fancy malls in Atlanta. It was SO MUCH FUN!! Especially, when we went into Tiffany's. Katelund left very disappointed because she had really wanted us to get her a birthstone necklace. A girl can dream, right?! :)

It was a great day filled with many moments that will last a lifetime.

We were going to ask someone to take a family picture of us, but I had to go to the bathroom so bad!! So, this is all I got.

Hailey is the pickiest eater I have ever had!! We got her a fruit bowl with grapes and pineapple, but she wouldn't touch anything until we moved the grapes away from the pineapple. She wanted nothing to do with pineapple. Crazy, right??!

This was the yummy pizza that I ordered. It was SO DELICIOUS!!!
Cory got a pic of me in front of Tiffany's, but it's on his phone.

Just Pictures...Mostly....

2011-04-18T10:08:00.007-05:00

This was the first time that both Katelund and Cloey crossed the monkey bars the whole way without any assistance.
Hailey's first time down a slide by herself. She DID NOT like her bare feet touching the sand afterwards. It was hilarious!

Apparently, sticking out her tongue was part of the process.

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Hailey was being a really good sport while her sisters played with her like she was their own personal baby doll.

Just Words

2011-04-14T16:22:00.002-05:00

No pictures, just words. I'm having issues with downloading pics today, so I'll have to post some of the adorable pictures that I have later. Oh, and I even took some pics of my latest organizational project....my closet and bathroom. They look amazing (well, compared to how they looked before)! You'll just have to take my word on it for now.

Life is good, busy but good. I had a dentist appointment Wednesday...no cavities. YEAH!! I had a doctor's appointment yesterday...no weight gain (for the last 6 weeks) YEAH!!! Why 6 weeks you ask? Because I missed my appointment the other week. I totally spaced it. I guess you know that you're on your 5th pregnancy when you totally space out your appointment and when you have no idea what week you are on. Whenever I get asked, I can never remember...which is totally not how I was with previous pregnancies. But, just for the record, I am 25 weeks. The baby (I THINK Cory and I have FINALLY agreed on a name but I haven't told anyone, so I better tell my family before revealing it on my blog)is 1 1/2 pounds. She is quite the kicker and I think the sickness is finally over!!! YEAH!!!!!! Other than the normal aches and pains of pregnancy, everything is going great!

My new favorite quote...

2011-04-07T17:24:00.009-05:00

"God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars."-Martin Luther

The other day I saw this quote and I immediately fell in love with it. Some of the greatest sermons I have ever heard are the ones that have been whispered to my heart as I have gazed upon the beauties of the earth.

This year it has not been working properly, but last fall and winter, Cory and I would spend each night, after the girls went to bed, out in our hot tub. We would talk about everything. We would laugh together, solve problems together, and then there were moments were we would just snuggle up close to each other and silently sit in awe as we took in the heavenly star-filled night sky. Those moments are some of the most precious ones I remember because on those nights it seemed as if every care or concern would just wash away as we remembered that we are part of a plan that is far greater than anything we could ever imagine. Part of a plan that was established and organized before the creation of our world and one that will continue on past this mortal life. It was then, that everything was put back into perspective.

On our latest trip to Clairisa's grave, as I was walking back to the car, I felt a fresh wave of sadness come over me. Then, as I looked up, I saw the most beautiful buds formimg on the tree in front of me. As I thought of these little buds forming, the Spirit so beautifully reminded me once again that death is not the end. That although the leaves of life fall and the branches become bare and lonely, spring will come. New beautiful leaves will perfectly grow back and the tree will not only come to life, but it will grow back bigger and even more beautiful. The sermon that was spoken directly to my soul that day was just the one that I needed to hear.

This year I planted pink tulips once again. As I waited and worried over them, I felt so much anticipation and excitement for the day that I would finally see their pink delicate petals. The green leaves appeared, but no flower. A couple of days before I left for Texas, there was still no blooming flower. I had decided that I must have waited too long to plant them and that the flower would never bloom. I was so discouraged and disappointed. But, the Lord knew that these were no ordinary tulips. For in them, lies one of the greatest sermons I've ever heard. That very day, my friend Amy, who I have not seen for a long time, showed up at my door with a pot of pink tulips. I also got a package in the mail from my sweet sister-in-law, Stefani, who sent me a skirt with pink tuilips all over it. Then, as if that wasn't enough, I recieved a sweet email from my friend Melissa, who had sent me the most amazing pictures of Holland's fields full of brightly colored tulips. That day, I had not only felt the Lord's love in my life, but I had also been ministered to by three of his precious angels. The very next day, my tulips bloomed.

Yes, I do believe that the gospel is written in the trees, the flowers, and the stars, for all things testify of Christ. If only we have the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the heart to feel, then and only then, will we receive the most beautiful sermons of our life.

The House I am Trying to Create

2011-04-06T07:47:00.003-05:00

This was the puzzle that I made for FHE. After the lesson on Monday night, I have left it sitting out on a table in the library. Yesterday as I passed it many times throughout the day, I really thought about how I am doing in creating this dream house of mine. Some days I do good, other days I completely fail. Some areas I am constant in and others I really struggle with. Having order in my home is one of the areas that I struggle with. I am not a schedule driven person. I don't like to have a day each week to do my laundry. I want to do laundry on whatever day I feel like. I don't want to have a certain hour each day that I have to scrub my bathroom. AHHH!! I can't stand that kind of schedule. I try to have some kind of routine to my day and week but I have to have some flexibility because I don't want to grocery shop when it is raining outside. I don't want to organize and clean out my fridge unless it is trash day, and I definitely don't want to spend my day cleaning if I just need to have a day to focus on others because I need some service endorphins (I actually listened to a BYU devotional once where the man speaking told about scientific studies that actually prove that we get an endorphin "high" from serving).

But, when it comes to my children, I am all about routine. They have an online chore chart for every morning and night (thanks Melissa N.!!!), they have 30 minutes of outside playtime after school and then it's homework time, no tv or movies on weekdays, Saturday morning is spent doing house/yard work, etc, etc. I know there has to be routine but there is still a part of me that fights against it. Being a stay at home mom can be pretty monotonous on its own, I don't want to add to it by making myself stick to a rigorous schedule each day of the week. Not that there is anything wrong with it, I greatly admire people who are so organized and orderly in their life.

I may not like to live by a rigorous schedule but I do yearn to have more organization in my home. So, for my spring cleaning this year, I am adding organizational projects to my list. My friend Rebecca did before and after pics of her organizational projects about a year ago. I'm thinking that I might steal this idea. It may actually give me some motivation to really do a good job. But, if I do this, PLEASE don't judge me for my lack of organizational skills. It's just not one of my strengths. I like a clean house and I like to be somewhat organized, but I am by no means organized when I think of some of my friends who seem to be experts in the area. I have a ways to go....but I am going to start somewhere. Picture one coming soon....remember....no judging!!!

Weekend Update

2011-04-04T08:47:00.005-05:00

I spent many, many hours last week gathering and creating decorations for our ward's Boy Scout fundraiser/ward activity on Friday night. The night included a silent auction in the back, a court of honor, a spaghetti dinner, some entertainment, and a service auction for each individual boy to offer their lawncare/babysitting/pet watching services. It was a jungle theme, which I was totally excited about. Especially when the perfect motto came to my mind, "Be Prepared...It's a Jungle Out There!" (In case you don't know, "Be Prepared" is the Boy Scout motto.) I wanted to decorate as cheaply as possible (since the whole point was to make money for scout camp, not spend money on decorations), so I had to get creative. I spent lots of time picking bamboo leaves, cutting down bamboo stalks, and searching for vines to cut. The incredible part is that when I went out in my backyard one day to look at my beautiful tulips I noticed something in the bushes by the fence....a VINE!!! I couldn't believe it, but the more I have thought about it the more I can believe it. Of course Heavenly Father could grow a vine for me in my own backyard. It was PERFECT!! I wanted to use lots of real greenery and I also wanted to have vines hanging from the "bridge". They wanted the boys to walk on the "cat walk" when their services were being auctioned off. Since I assumed that boys would probably not feel so comfortable with walking a cat walk, I decided to make it look like a bridge instead. Anyways, it is hard to capture the whole gym in just a couple small pictures with my phone, but here was the finished product.

[FYI...I am posting these pics because my mom, mother-in-law, and sisters want me to, but I also want to because when I went online to search for Boy Scout jungle themed decorating ideas I got absolutely no help. So, maybe I can bring some ideas to someone else out there or even just get their own ideas flowing]

The rest of the weekend was of course AMAZING because of General Conference! I think I cried in almost every talk. Yes, I'm pregnant and my emotions are super sensitive, but I also just felt so immersed in the spirit. There is just nothing that compares to that feeling!! More on conference to come....

Texas Trip

2011-03-29T09:35:00.005-05:00

We had such a GREAT trip!!! The only thing that would've made it perfect would've been having Cory there. I had a made a list of three MUST DO's while I was there.
1. A trip to Sam Moon's in Dallas. Besides Charming Charlie's, it is my favorite jewelery/accessory store ever! My mom, my little sister Katie, her baby Callie, and me and my girls took a day trip to Dallas to buy way too much jewelery (plus an awesome new green purse I got...Carrie, you would be totally jealous), eat lunch at Braum's (another Texas favorite), visit the temple grounds, and splurge at Sprinkles Cupcakes (their cupcakes have no preservatives and all the ingredients are organic, hormone free, and the very best).
2. Eat at Spring Creek Barbeque. Mmmmmmm!! I love me some Texas BBQ, especially at Spring Creek. We met up with one of my mom's uncles who just happened to be in Dallas for business. It was fun to be with him and all the rest of my family while devouring the best rolls and brisket ever!!!
3. Go to the Dallas temple. We ended up not being able to attend the session we had planned on but at least we were able to go. We took lots of pictures of my girls and Callie touching the temple. Just being on the temple grounds brought me so much peace and happiness, and of course the memories of that August day came flooding back to me. I always love to see the temple, but especially the Dallas temple...where Cory and I's journey began. And, I learned something I didn't know. The temple is located on Willow Road. Oh, the symbolism. :)

The rest of the week we spent time in the pool (or sitting by the pool), paddling in the canal behind my parent's neighborhood, enjoying home cooked meals by my sisters, biting my nails and crying over BYU's loss in the Sweet Sixteen, laughing, shopping, cringing as I watched my dad driving around town with both Katelund and Cloey in the front seat of his convertible, staying up late at night with my mom, and just enjoying every second together,

I felt so blessed to be there when the Bluebonnets were out!!! There is nothing like a field covered in bluebonnets. Oh, how I LOVE TEXAS!!!! Sorry Tennessee, you just don't have quite the same appeal.

Here I am in the driver's seat, where I spent 30 hours. Although it was a long drive, it was worth every single mile. Gas for a trip to Texas=$400. Memories made on that trip =priceless!!!!

What am I thinking????

2011-03-17T10:33:00.007-05:00

Saturday morning at 5 am I will be loading my girls into the van and we will start our 13 hour (with stops it will probably be more like 17 hour) drive to Texas (26+ hr round trip) for spring break. Unfortunately, Cory has to work but I was able to talk one of my friends into driving down with me (she is such a SAINT!!). Considering the fact that on our 16 (really 19-20) hour round trip drive to Fayetteville, I was SUPER sick (and puked my guts out a couple of times), ended up with a grand total of 3 tickets (yes, I'm serious), and had 3 extremely whiny children...I am REALLY NERVOUS about this drive.

So.......please pray for my sanity, my stomach, and no speed traps.

Thanks. Now the craziness of packing must begin. Whew...I'm tired just thinking of all I need to do. The only possible reason I would ever attempt to do such a crazy thing is because I will get to spend the whole week with both of my sisters (and their children) and my parents...totally worth it.

May the luck of the Irish be sent our way!

The Insignificant and Hidden Deatils

2011-03-15T09:39:00.005-05:00

I know that my Savior knows me in a very personal and real way. He knows how to succor, uplift, comfort, and sustain me. As I pour my heart and soul out in prayer, I know that he hears me and knows exactly how I feel. I have had personal and sacred experiences that have witnessed to me of such a truth.

But, what about all the other details of my life? What about the hidden details...the fears and struggles that I wrestle with in the private chambers of my soul, the ones that are so deep inside that they are not expressed or uttered in my prayers or conversations? Or what about the details of my life that are insignificant...the randomness that circles around inside of my head each day? Are the little things in my life that are so important to me, important to him as well?

The other day I opened up my scriptures and began to read. After two verses, I stopped reading and the tears began flowing. I couldn't believe what I had just read. I kept reading to find out how this verse fit in to the rest of the chapter...but it didn't. In fact, I realized that my bookmark had been moved and I wasn't even reading in the right spot. It was a very random verse. So random, that if I didn't know better, I would think that it had been stuck in there just for me to read at that very moment. I know that in that single verse, which may seem very insignificant to anybody else, the Lord had spoken directly to me. He had spoken to one of those private chambers of my heart. But he hadn't just openly told me what I needed to hear, he did it in a way that only I would understand...a very personal, tender, and miraculous way. I can now say for sure that the Lord is not only aware of the unexpressed prayers of my heart, but he is also aware of the insignificant details of my life...

...and yes, they are important to him as well.

I'm a tree hugger!!!

2011-03-09T11:43:00.005-05:00

Over the last couple of years, I have become obsessed with trees [okay not really obsessed, but really into]. I'm not really sure why. It is actually kindof strange. Even to the point that I get onto my children when they use paper towels in the public bathrooms if there is an option to use an air dryer, and if there is not an option they only get ONE paper towel. I have even stopped scrapbooking because I feel like I use SO MUCH paper. Instead, I'd rather just use my blog, although, I still use my cute paper for projects. I still use disposable diapers and I could never stop using wet wipes. And, I don't think I could ever get on board with a kindle for a book because I love the smell and feel of turning an actual page in a book. So, I guess I'm not an actual tree hugger, but, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to learn about and admire trees. As I walk through my neighborhood, I study them. I try to pick out which is which and discover different things about when and how they bloom and what colors their leaves turn and for how long. On Clairisa's first birthday, Cory's parents gave us a willow tree to plant in our backyard because they knew that everytime I saw a willow tree I thought of her. She is buried in the shadow of the most beautiful willow tree I have ever seen. I have babied my little willow tree. I have over watered, under watered, etc...because I am so obsessed with [my willow tree...I'm really obsessed with] it's good health. Last year we landscaped around it as a family project and this last fall I planted seven (seven is symbolic in Hebrew for perfection) pink tulips around it.

The class that I just taught at Women's Conference was about family history and how to get started. I LOVE symbolism so I taught the class with a parable that came to me one day last week as I was admiring my beautiful Bradford Pear trees in my front yard. It was called the Parable of the Trees. In the process of preparing for my class, I did a lot of research on the Bradford Pear trees and the Redwood trees (those are the two I compared). I learned so much and had so much fun doing it. As I came home this week, I decided to continue my researching. You see, unlike most girls, I don't day dream about what my future kitchen will look like or what my dream house would be. I day dream about what kinds of trees will grace my yard with their majestic beauty. Cheesy? Yes, I know. But, don't you already know that about me by this point? :) So which tree am I dreaming and studying about this week? The Japanese Magnolia (Tulip) tree. The tree of my dreams. [Scroll down to the last picture to see how beautiful it is at this time of year. Or click here to see an incredible upclose picture taken by my amazing friend Destinee who has one in her backyard.]

We stopped by Clairisa's grave in Asheville on our way home from Fayetteville. If you look closely, you can see the willow tree in the background.

Over the mountains and through the woods....

2011-03-08T10:27:00.011-05:00

...to Grandma's house we went!!

We had such a great weekend in Fayetteville. We had been planning on going for quite awhile now, but something seemed to come up every single weekend. So when Sherrie asked me to come and teach a class at her stake's women conference, it was the perfect reason to make it happen. So here's the rundown of what we did...

Friday.....We started the day at the church helping Grandma decorate and prepare for the women conference on Saturday. My girls love to help decorate at the church, especially with Grandma. Cory and Hailey went to work with Grandpa to see some old friends. Later that afternoon, Grandpa picked up the girls in the salon parking lot so that Sherrie and I could spend the rest of the afternoon being pampered. We had a great time and we both came out 4 hours later (it was a beauty school so it took a little longer than normal) feeling beautiful with shorter and lighter hair. Then we met everyone at our favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner.

Saturday...Sherrie and I left real early to do last minute prep stuff before the conference started at 8:30. It was a WONDERFUL conference!!!! I love the sisters in Fayetteville. There is just something about that stake that I LOVE and miss. The stake that we are now in doesn't do women's conferences. What's up with that??!!! Anyways, during the conference Cory, Grandpa, and the girls played some baseball and then Cory spent hours trying to track down a nebulizer because Hailey was wheezing. She has had a cold for the past week, but Cory (who has had asthma since he was a baby) was starting to get worried. Later that afternoon, we had all planned on going to play putt-putt and race cars, but instead me and Sherrie took Katelund and Cloey to get started and Dad and Cory took Hailey to an urgent care. They told Cory that she was fine and that she just had a cold, but he kept asking questions and being a worried dad so they tested her for RSV...which she had. So, the rest of the weekend we spent at home playing games and having fun together while we babied our baby.

Sunday...I stayed home with Katelund and Hailey (Katelund threw up Saturday night) while everyone else went to church. We had a delicious dinner and then we played more games and ended the night with pedicures and makeovers (the girls gave Grandma a pretty scary make-over while she slept on the couch and then finally convinced Cory into letting them put make-up on him as well....of course, I HAD to join in on that. We were all laughing hysterically!!! Good times, good times.

Monday morning, Grandma and Grandpa walked to the lake with Kate and Cloey to feed the ducks and then Cory and his mom went on a bike ride together. Afterwards, we packed up and headed out on our long voyage back home.

For some strange reason, I can't get my pictures to post...but, I will have them up as soon as I figure it out.

Introducing.....Rosa Parks

2011-02-28T10:24:00.003-05:00

Last Thursday was biography day for the 2nd grade. Each of the kids got to pick a historical figure to research. They had to make a poster and then give an oral presentation to their peers while dressed up as their person. Katelund and I had SO MUCH FUN getting ready for this. In fact, when I dropped her off into her classroom (it was a little hard for her to carry her backpack and a poster while wearing my high heel shoes) one of the other moms said to me, "Whew, I am so glad this is over with." The pathetic part is that I was actually sad it was over. I LOVE doing stuff like this. It is what learning should be all about.

Beautiful and Not So Beautiful

2011-02-27T19:55:00.007-05:00

Tonight we went to a baptism. Just like all convert baptisms, it was so wonderful to be part of and to see the joy and excitement on this brother's face. In fact, he even took a couple of minutes to bear his testimony at the end. At the very end, he said, "I am really looking forward to enduring to the end." It was beautiful.

But, that wasn't the only beautiful part of the baptism. The other beautiful part happened on our row as I looked over and saw Katelund. Prior to the baptism, I had told her that she should really pay attention to what happens so that she can begin to plan out who she wants to speak at her own baptism and what songs she wants to be sung. So during the baptism she opened up the program and began to write her own program. It was so sweet and so exciting for her. I can't believe that my first little baby girl will be 8 in six more months. During the entire baptism, Katelund's face was beaming as she thought about her very own special day with much anticipation.

The other beautiful part was during the Restoration Presentation given by the missionaries after the actual baptism took place. The Elder started to recount the First Vision and as he did so, Cloey leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Mommy, I love this story." It was such a sweet moment....beautiful indeed.

But all beautiful moments must come to an end. And mine surely did once I smelt Hailey's poopy diaper and had to run out of the room asap before I threw my dinner up all over everybody.

It's a....

2011-02-24T15:40:00.003-05:00

G
I
R
L

Yes, I'm serious. Yes, I'm excited. AND yes, we are going to go broke paying for weddings.

Why I think this baby is a boy...

2011-02-23T12:17:00.003-05:00

Reason #1
There just can't be any other explanation as to why this pregnancy is making me SO STINKING SICK!!! It's ridiculous. Usually I am over my "morning" sickness by week 14. I am now 18 weeks along and TWICE this week I have projectile vomited all over EVERYTHING!! I'm not kidding. In fact, it happened last night. I just couldn't make it from my bed to the bathroom in time....therefore, I ended up spending the next hour with Cory (he truly is a saint) cleaning baseboards, walls, doors, and steam cleaning our MESS of a carpet. It was disgusting and horrible. The only explanation is that boys are so foreign to my body that all that testosterone is making me sick. Or....maybe this is my body's way of telling me that this is IT, the last pregnancy that my body can handle!! Of course there is always the possibility that it is another girl who is power packed with a lot of hormones (because heaven knows we are lacking in hormones and emotions around our house...yes, that is totally dripping with sarcasm) Yes, it is all worth it and I know, oh how I know, that it could be WAY worse. But being sick and changing dirty diapers all day is just not the best combination...especially when there seems to be no end in sight. On the bright side, I feel great in the middle of the day. It's just the morning and night.

Reason #2

I have been asked to be in charge of decorating for our ward's Boy Scout fundraiser on April Fool's Day. It is a ward activity and then some because they want this to be a huge event for the boys. Although at first I was a little bit confused as to why they would ask me (considering the fact that I have NO IDEA how to decorate for boy stuff) and since I don't have a boy scout myself, I came to the conclusion that this is all preparatory for the boy in my belly. It totally makes sense, right?! Or....maybe it is to prepare for all of my Eagle Scout son-in-laws. Who knows, but either way, I am SO EXCITED about it, especially since they told me to "go big". Those are my favorite words when it comes to decorating. My creative juices are flowing like crazy. Hmmm...maybe those creative juices will be the cure for my nausea.

Reason #3

I have been wearing A LOT of blue this pregnancy. This has to be my most logical reason. Don't you think??

Stay tuned because tomorrow is the big day!!!! THINK TAIL!!!!

One of My Deepest Fears

2011-02-22T14:37:00.006-05:00

About a month ago, I had a horrible experience happen to me. It is kindof a long story so I'll just sum it up by saying that I thought something had happened to my dad. I thought I had lost him. It was absolutely horrible. When I finally heard his voice and knew that everything was okay, I felt overwhelming relief. My tears started flowing as I expressed my love to him and then after I hung the phone up all my emotions rushed over and I just sat and cried about what could've been.

A couple of days after this experience, Cloey woke up from a dream one night in utter hysterics. I, again, thought the worst had happened. I thought that something horrible had happened to Katelund and that Cloey had woken up to it (part of my paranoia from losing my brother...my sister woke up to find him dead in his crib). But, after calming her down I found out that she had just had a bad dream. A dream in which I had died.

Although it has been weeks since these experiences happened, it has really affected both of us. I find myself thinking more often about my dad. I have randomly texted him just to tell him I love him. I have called him for no reason at all, other than to hear his voice. I have realized that although I am no longer a child living in my parent's home, I will never outgrow my daddy.

Last night, Cloey snuggled up next to me on the recliner after Family Night, and expressed her love and gratitude for me. Then she told me that I can't ever leave her and that she will never go to college because she doesn't ever want to be away from me (something I will definitely remind her of when she is 18 and dying to get out of our home). :) Although I know that someday she and Katelund will both be wonderful mothers, I hope and pray that they will never outgrow me. That they will always need their Mommy just as I still and always will need mine.

I think in many ways that losing a parent is one of my deepest fears. I remember having those dreams like Cloey where my mom dies. They were HORRIBLE!! But the crazy part is that they would be just as horrible today as they were then because no matter how old I get I still need to know that my parents are there for me. I still need my mommy to tell me that everything will be okay (just as she did yesterday when we talked on the phone) and I still need to see that look of approval in my daddy's eyes as I accomplish something that he considers to be great. The older I get the more amazing my parents seem to be. Although, I know that families are forever and that I will never really "lose" them, not having them here with me in mortality has and always will be one of my greatest and deepest fears.

My Sense of Community

2011-02-18T11:07:00.007-05:00

*Yesterday I was reading a particular comment that a friend made on a blog. She expressed her feelings about the need to broaden our definition of community in terms of how and whom we help. She made this comment in reference to her sister who is doing this wonderful thing. She has signed up to be a sponsor for a little boy named Karl who lives in India and is part of the Rising Star program (click here if you want to read more about this). Although I have not contributed money to this, I think it is a wonderful thing and I am all about passing along the word to others.

*This morning Katelund asked me to write a check out for $1000 to turn in for Jump Rope for Heart. She talked to me about how we will help save lives by doing so AND if she is one of the top sellers in the school she gets to be on Extreme Homemakeover (they are building a home here close to us in Georgia this week). So, I sent her and Cloey to school with a check for $10.

*There is a family that belongs to our church who was without a heater for the winter. So Cory gave them our little portable heating unit so that at least one room could be warm.

*When we hear about all of the countries across the world who are trying to overthrow their governments and create change within their country, we say our prayers for them and thank God for the freedom in which we are so blessed with in our own country.

*Last week when the girls' school did a can drive for families in need, the girls took bags full of cans.

*As my heart yearns to be in the school on a more regular basis volunteering in my children's classrooms and working for PTA, I just can't bring myself to drop Hailey off at someone's house for hours during the week. She is MY baby and she will grow up WAY too quickly. So for now, I will volunteer not as regularly but still play a very active role in my children's education.

*Recently, when I found out about the education disaster that is happening in Texas, I wanted to pack my bags and protest on the steps of the capitol building. But instead, I listened and comforted my sister as she told me about all of her concerns and fears for her job in the school and for her children's education.

*As I watch the decline in morality and virtues all around me, I hold my children a little tighter and use every opportunity to teach them what is right.

*Yesterday as I watched Oprah (well only the first half, the other half was not something I cared to watch) and folded clothes, I was brought to tears by the generosity of two older sisters who have a kitchen in Nashville where they spend their days cooking and taking food to the homeless, less fortunate, or home bound. Then I cried even harder as Oprah surprised them with Kroger's gift of filling their kitchen with food for a year.

I would LOVE to do something like this in my city. I would love to donate millions of dollars to children in India, Africa, and every other poverty stricken country. I would love to donate $1000 to wonderful organizations like Jump Rope for Heart. I'd love to buy heating units, change education, raise my voice in political circles, provide food for a family for a year, etc.... But I can't.

What I CAN do are the small things, and maybe someday I can even do something big. Something that will change somebody's life or even just make it a little bit better. In the meantime, my sense of community is mostly centered around my little family and what happens within the walls of my home. Yes, I probably should broaden my sense of community, but when all is said and done, there is NOTHING so wonderful or so great that I can do that could compensate for failure within my own home and with my own children. So for now, I'll spread the word, donate $10 here and there, give cans, volunteer when I can, pray, teach, and make my little community the best that it can be.

Downhill

2011-02-17T11:01:00.003-05:00

Ever since Valentine's Day my week has gone downhill. I'm not sure why but here are a list of possible reasons....

-I washed a load of laundry on Tuesday without knowing that a roll of toilet paper had somehow been dropped into the washer. Yes, a WHOLE roll. And, it was not just a small batch of clothes I was washing, it was a HUGE load (you know, the kind where you push the limit of the washer because you don't want to do laundry all day long?). Needless to say, I have been cleaning up little pieces of toilet paper from EVERYWHERE and I still have about 6 or 7 shirts and pants that I just don't know what to do with. AHHHH!!!

-There is still toilet paper falling from the tops of our trees from our house being toilet papered AGAIN a couple of weeks ago. I'm totally okay with the youth rolling our house if they need something to do, but seriously, the day before it rains???!!

-This morning I sent the girls off to school after being totally irritated and snappy with them for taking WAY TOO long to get ready. Yes, they did make their beds and they did go to school dressed BUT I'm pretty sure they didn't brush their teeth or brush their hair. I was also sick of fighting Cloey on her outfit today so she went to school in a wrinkled dress mismatched tights and her hair...oh her hair!!! Our blow dryer died last week so the girls and I have been without for way too long. I need to go buy one TODAY!!! The girls went to bed last night with their hair wet and apparently Cloey must have gone through some kind of crazy night sleep in order to have the do that she woke up with. I wouldn't be surprised if her teacher sent a note home asking if everything was okay.

-I'm totally stressed about upcoming travel plans.

-My house is a disaster AGAIN and I'm so sick of cleaning this week.

Wow, this is a really depressing post isn't it? I do feel a little better now. I guess I'll go and pick off some more shreds of toilet paper.

Valentine's Day is....

2011-02-15T12:56:00.008-05:00

A rose delivered to our sweet neighbor next door who lives alone and my girls helping me finish off my secret Valentine project with a "heart attack".

A special dinner at the "Love Restaurant".

Looking out the window while making dinner and talking to my Grandma and seeing the people who mean everything to me.

A surprise "Valentine bath" at the "Love Spa" waiting for my girls after dinner.

An amazing massage for Cory after the girls were in bed.

A small gift waiting on the girls pillows after they got home from school.

Flowers from Cory that said everything and so much more. (Click here if you want to read why pink tulips mean so much to me.) Plus a card that made me bawl like a baby.

Valentine's Day is all about the small things. The small moments and gestures that remind me of what is most important. The small things that make my heart swell up and burst with joy.

And just because it was SO FUNNY, here is a comment made by Cloey yesterday while we were driving...
Cloey "Mommy what is that guy called that shoots his arrow at you and if it hits you, you fall in love?"
Me: "Cupid?"
Cloey: "Yes, cupid. Well I think he hit me with his arrow because I'm in love with _____ (I promised her that I would keep it a family secret). :)

the perfect thought for a favorite day

2011-02-14T09:55:00.002-05:00

“The greatest lessons’ we are to learn are lessons which help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. What is important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume. We should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love, that do not show their love.” Despite the changes which come into our lives, may we fill our days as much as we can with those things which matter most. May we cherish those we hold dear, and express our love to them in word and in deed. Send that note to a friend that you’ve been neglecting. Give your child a hug. Give your parents a hug. Say, “I love you” more. Always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” -President Monson

A 50's Valentine

2011-02-14T09:36:00.002-05:00

On Friday, the girls had their Valentine parties at school. Katelund was SO EXCITED for her 50's sock hop. I spent Wednesday and Thursday making her a poodle skirt. I had SO MUCH FUN doing it, especially when I saw the excitement on her face. She was the cutest 50's girl there (you may think I'm biased, but I'm pretty sure I'm spot on about this one) :). Katelund is the perfect daughter to have as the oldest. She loves her little sisters so much. In fact, I honestly don't know what I would've done if I didn't have Katelund to help me so much with Hailey. She's AMAZING with her! But, above all things...I think my very favorite thing about Katelund is her laugh. She has one of the cutest most contagious laughs I've ever heard. I LOVE it and I LOVE her!

Three Stories about Cloey

2011-02-09T08:25:00.006-05:00

I took this picture of Cloey when I was eating lunch with her at school...which is why you may notice the food stuffed in the side of her cheek. :)

Story One...On Sunday, our ward held a fast for missionary work. Although I cannot fast, due to my current pregnant state(not prego...I know, I'm so weird, but I hate it when people say I am prego or any other slang term for pregnant. If you want to be prego, fine...but I am pregnant). Whew, I'm glad I finally got that out. :) So anyways, back to my story. I was trying to encourage my girls to be part of the fast. I told them that with the new time change for church, it works out perfectly for them to begin fasting with just one meal. They can fast breakfast and then eat lunch before church. Immediately, Cloey jumps on board with this idea, but Katelund is still hesitating with her decision. I told Cloey how proud I was of her for wanting to be part of fasting and what a blessing it will be for her to begin practicing the law of the fast now, while she is still not accountable for doing so. With that being said, she smiled and walked over to the pantry. She opened the door and said, "so then I want to eat ramen noodle". Apparently, she thought that she was "fasting" breakfast by eating ramen noodle (a lunch food) instead of breakfast foods. She was not so thrilled about her decision once she realized that fasting breakfast meant not eating anything, even lunch food, until it was lunch time.

Story Two...Cloey is learning about money in school. The other day she found a nickel on the ground. She was so excited! She wanted to go to the store right away and buy something with it. I asked her if she remembered how much a nickel was worth. She said, "yes, it is 5 cents...so that means I can buy 5 things at the store." If only that was really how it worked.

Story Three...Everyday when I drop the girls off in the morning, I remind them to do something nice for someone else that day. At dinner time (or many times as soon as they get off the bus) they report to me what service they performed that day at school. Cloey has really gotten into this. Her acts of service have gotten bigger and bigger. It started with helping a friend up when she fell (which happened like everyday for a week or so) and then it went to talking to somebody new or playing with a new friend at recess. Now it has gotten to the point where I have to be careful what she is wearing or what she takes to school because if her friends tell her they like her hat, or bracelet, or food, or whatever else, she gives it to them. Although, when I first found out that she had given away her cute little hat that kept her warm when she was walking home from school, I was not so happy. But then as I saw how excited she was to do something so nice for someone else, I couldn't help but be happy with her. She has such a tender little heart. No wonder we are told in the scriptures to become like a child.

In just ONE year...

2011-02-08T13:18:00.004-05:00

...you have completely WON my heart!!!

Random Pictures/Stories

2011-02-01T08:41:00.002-05:00

I am seriously blessed with some of the greatest friends ever!!! One of my friends, Natalie, went to California for the month of December (her husband was doing an intense rotation in his residency) to be with her mom. She brought me back this delicious box of chocolates. She had no idea how much it would mean to me. You see, Sees chocolates was one of my Great Grandma Childs' favorite things. She would send our family a box every year for Christmas. The last time I had Sees chocolate was my last Christmas at home. She has since passed away. When I saw this box of chocolates, the memories of my Grandma Childs came flooding back to me. Oh, how I loved her and oh how I LOVE a delicious box of chocolates (unfortunately they did not last long).

I told Katelund and Cloey that I would sign them up for whatever they wanted to do in the spring. The top three choices were....dance, t-ball, or soccer. I'm pretty sure that their final decision is soccer, but you never know, the final decision seems to change everyday. Can't you tell from the picture how indecisive Cloey is???

This last picture was a great idea that I stole from my mom when she was here helping out after Hailey was first born. Each day that the girls would leave for school with their room clean and their beds made, she would leave a piece of candy on their pillow. They would get so excited to run into their room after they got home to see what candy she left them. I LOVE this idea!!! Yes, my mom is a genius!! So, I decided to start this idea up again. It's amazing how motivating this is for them. In fact, this morning we were almost late for school because Katelund was finishing up making her bed. It just doesn't get better than that. :) I decided to have a little fun with it and also make them practice reading at the same time.

some DELICIOUS soup recipes

2011-01-31T13:48:00.005-05:00

A couple of posts ago, I referred to a blog about cooking dinners. I hope you read it and I hope it changed your life like it did mine. My family is loving my new excitement for cooking meals for them. The last two weeks I have tried some soup recipes that I have loved, so I thought I would share them with all of you.

Both of them come from the top two places that I go when I am looking for recipe ideas. The first one is from The Sisters Cafe. My friend, Melanie (who wrote the AMAZING post about cooking dinners)and her sisters created this cooking blog. Click here to find my new favorite soup.
The other two recipes come from Our Best Bites. Click here and here.

Enjoy!

Raising Girls

2011-01-28T12:30:00.005-05:00

I often wonder what it would be like to have had all boys instead of all girls. As I read some of my friend's blogs about life with boys, I find myself intrigued. I don't know what it is like to grow up with a brother, and heaven knows I would have no idea what to do with a boy if perhaps by some miracle I actually had one. But, I still dream of my little boy. A little boy who loves to play and loves to get dirty even more, who will play sports with his Daddy and tackle his sisters, and who will one day get that letter in the mail that will call him to serve a mission for the Lord.

Life with all boys would be very different. Our house would probably be a lot louder, the toilets would definitely be grosser, and I'm pretty sure I would learn more than I ever wanted to about superheroes, monsters, and whatever else boys are into these days.

But, I don't know anything about that world except for what I glean from others. My life, at least right now, revolves around barbies, baby dolls, dress-up clothes, princesses, the color pink, etc. I love having girls. I love teaching my girls about the importance of being a mother, having charity, being modest, supporting the men in their life, and acting like ladies (or at least trying to). I find great joy and passion in raising my girls to be righteous women. But, there are also some parts about raising girls that overwhelm me...especially lately. With girls, there are and always will be a lot of emotions involved....hurt feelings, broken hearts, shattered dreams, insecure moments, and sometimes, just plain old bad days. I was prepared for all of those things because I've been there and felt those same feelings. But, I was not prepared for what I experienced yesterday. I was not prepared for the day that my 7 year old daughter would come home, curl up in my lap, and cry out her heart to me about some of the mean things that were said about her at school. As I listened to her, I felt all of those feelings that I felt as an insecure girl, but then they were multiplied by a thousand because this time it was not me dealing with, it was me watching my daughter have to deal with it. As a mother, there is just nothing worse than having to watch your children suffer and hurt. After I listened, we talked for awhile and hugged for a long while, and then she jumped off my lap with a smile on her face and a skip in her step, ready to go outside and climb a tree. After she shut the front door, I fell on my knees and just cried, and prayed, and cried some more.

As I laid in bed last night, I continued worrying and searching for better things to say and more ways to help her. Then I began to think about Cloey and wonder if I had shown her enough attention and love that day. Then my thoughts turned to Hailey as I began to worry about any lasting effects from her fall the other day from her high chair. It is never-ending. The worry and concern that a mother has for her children is constant and can be very overwhelming. I can't even imagine the worry level that will come with having teenage daughters. But for now, my deepest wish and my greatest prayer is that my daughters will be confident and happy with who they are. That they can find peace in knowing that they are daughters of a loving and perfect Heavenly Father. I want them to be able to see themselves the way that He sees them, and in doing so, I know that nothing else anybody ever says will matter. As for Hailey, I just pray and pray each day that my worry will lessen and my fears will fade. There is not a day that goes by that the thought doesn't creep into my mind that somehow and in some way I will lose her too.

Raising children is definitely not for the faint of heart. It is a divine job given to women. This I know for sure. I thank God everyday for my little girls. While raising them, I know that the Lord is refining and molding me into the woman and mother that He knows I can be. This gives me great hope and faith, and yet I also know that along with being a mother and a woman there will always be emotions involved...hurt feelings, broken hearts, shattered dreams, insecure moments, and sometimes...just plain old bad days.

4 Questions 4 You

2011-01-26T09:31:00.004-05:00

1.Did you watch the State of the Union address last night?
I watched every second of it. There were some things that I disagreed with, but overall I thought it was really good. The whole part on education....SO GOOD!! I'm not sure about the whole "Race to the Top" program (because I don't know any of the specifics), but I loved how he spoke about the importance of teaching in the home and the responsibility that we have to instill a love for learning in our children. I think he must have read my blog. :) J/K.

2.Did you know that boys have tails?
When I showed my girls the ultrasound picture after my doctor's appointment on Monday, Katelund said, "Oh, the baby is definitely a boy because I see a tail right there by his bottom and all boys have tails on their bottoms." Yes, there was a "tail" but it was the umbilical cord. Hopefully we'll see a tail at my next appointment.

3. Do people "glitter" in your neighborhood?
Yesterday when I was walking the girls home from the bus stop, Cloey reached down and picked up some glass from the street. Then she said, "Mommy, I have to pick up this glitter. I can't believe that people are glittering in our neighborhood!"

4. Is this not the cutest face ever?